The Dust Settled - Feedback

[Showtaro]

Now we just need someone to storyboard this . . .

[ShadowCloak]

It's too long for me to read the hole thing but I like it. :)

[Ced23Ric]

It's too long for me to read the hole thing but I like it. :)

So you like the bits you read, eh? ;)

When did we stop reading? I mean, I don't expect the broad majority to read 500 pages books on the daily, but aren't written stories still a vast realm of information and imagination? :(

[ShadowCloak]

I don't mind people posting stories, I just can't read anything too long. My eyes hurt and I get bored, even if it's something that interests me. Don't get me wrong, it's just me, not everyone. Besides you wrote the article and we just have to read it, so you have my respect mate ;)

[Ced23Ric]

I don't mind people posting stories, I just can't read anything too long. My eyes hurt and I get bored, even if it's something that interests me. Don't get me wrong, it's just me, not everyone. Besides you wrote the article and we just have to read it, so you have my respect mate ;)

Fair enough, thanks for the explanation. :)

[Aftertouchs]

Just want to say, this is a ridiculously awesome story. Loving your descriptions and prose!

[[DE]Steve]

Damn cool!

[Alacratha]

I love your stories, makes me feel scared to even post or work on mine! I really love how your stories seem to flow as well. They always keep my entertained.

I think maybe sometime we should collab.

I although we both do have different mindsets of the Tenno and WARFRAMEs but maybe it could lead to some good!

[Ced23Ric]

we both do have different mindsets of the Tenno and WARFRAMEs

In my perception, Tenno are monastic, ascethic warriors, with clear-cut sets of meditation and spiritual cleansing, so they work without doubt or hesitation in combat. They are trained for war, and they breathe combat. Yet, they do have a "silence before the storm" aura about them, where they move with grace, silence and agility. Sort of Shaolin meets Crack Commandos, a little bit of Western gun proficiency combined with Asian philosophy and martial arts.

Whether the loss of identity is special to this one Tenno or all Tenno I cannot tell yet, I am kind of writing around it until we get our hands on more lore. Right now, I am dodging the blanks and fill in with what I do know so far. :)

As for collabs: Sure, why not. If you put something up that inspires me, I'll hop on it. Did so with Mr. SilverBones. ;)

[Alacratha]

In my perception, Tenno are monastic, ascethic warriors, with clear-cut sets of meditation and spiritual cleansing, so they work without doubt or hesitation in combat. They are trained for war, and they breathe combat. Yet, they do have a "silence before the storm" aura about them, where they move with grace, silence and agility. Sort of Shaolin meets Crack Commandos, a little bit of Western gun proficiency combined with Asian philosophy and martial arts.

Whether the loss of identity is special to this one Tenno or all Tenno I cannot tell yet, I am kind of writing around it until we get our hands on more lore. Right now, I am dodging the blanks and fill in with what I do know so far. :)

As for collabs: Sure, why not. If you put something up that inspires me, I'll hop on it. Did so with Mr. SilverBones. ;)

Haha, Yeah I noticed that with Silver, I actually ended up feeling inspired to try and voice them out since I'm not all that great of a voice actor. But I did just get this new Blue Yeti mic. So... I couldn't help myself!

https://soundcloud.com/john-dawson-14/sets/warframe-story-voices

But as for the Tenno, I see the WARFRAMEs as a suit that's like MechWarrior.

I.E. "TRINITY Class WARFRAME"

"LOKI Class WARFRAME"

Etc..

The Tenno, are warriors, focused on meditation as well.

However.. I find them to be tortured souls. Carrying a dark past. A dark mission.

They're the Dark Horse that has to become the pilot of these suits that they will use, to act revenge for something they can't remember.

They question the LOTUS, the question the other Tenno.

Who are they? Why is their only purpose war?

[Ced23Ric]

Well, while I do like me some Battletech (Mechwarrior game series), those are a more Western type of warriors. They are closer to pilots than anything, save for Protomechs and Elementals, those don't wear suits for combat, but steer lumbering war machines. The Tenno of Warframe, on the other hand, are not in 10 metre high machines of death, they use their own muscles to do the deed.N

Now, enter the Asian vacobulary and imagery, the choice of melee weapons, the choice of Japanese war drums for music, the meditation, image of the circle in the tutorial, and you won't see much of Mechwarrior here. There is a very strong Bushido tone here, which is more opposite to Mech pilots than anything. Discipline. Training. Nerves of steel. Full body control.

It is usually not prudent idea to challenge interpretations, but I think I can make a stand for that here. Just like Warframe is closer to Diablo 1 and 2 in it's gameplay than to Counterstrike, the Tenno as a race are closer to Samurai than to jet pilots. Their language is riddled with Eastern exp<b></b>ressions, their design is very Macross-ey (Mecha anima, from which Battletech, among others, plagiarized designs - which may be source of your view there, too), and their rolls, slides, jumps and even more importantly, their melee fighting has a very strong Asian handwriting.

You can see, in the way they wield their swords and daggers, that they subscribed to the school of agility of crushing force. Many European blade weapons where based on focussing energy on a slim edge to crush bones and rupture flesh, whereas Asian sword fighting is more based on cuts and slices, causing lethal bleeding - and puncture wounds, for deep penetration. While the European sword fighting is more about overhead slams, side swipes, parades, all with force and tiring impact incase of a block, the Asian sword fighting goes for avoiding the block, disabling limbs, diagonal strikes and puncture wounds, to have the enemy faint and dismantle.

The Lotus is more than a name, it's a reoccuring image in Asian lore. Tenno is the Japanese word for emperor, and the Tenno is also the First Priest of the Shinto. And so on, and so on. Their entire image and culture, from what we know so far, is based around a monastic breed of strict and honed warriors. Not so much pilots or soldiers. These guys perform war as art - and not as a profession.

Edited January 3, 2013 by Ced23Ric

[Alacratha]

Well, while I do like me some Battletech (Mechwarrior game series), those are a more Western type of warriors. They are closer to pilots than anything, save for Protomechs and Elementals, those don't wear suits for combat, but steer lumbering war machines. The Tenno of Warframe, on the other hand, are not in 10 metre high machines of death, they use their own muscles to do the deed.N

Now, enter the Asian vacobulary and imagery, the choice of melee weapons, the choice of Japanese war drums for music, the meditation, image of the circle in the tutorial, and you won't see much of Mechwarrior here. There is a very strong Bushido tone here, which is more opposite to Mech pilots than anything. Discipline. Training. Nerves of steel. Full body control.

It is usually not prudent idea to challenge interpretations, I think I can make a stand for that here. Just like Warframe is closer to Diablo 1 and 2 in it's gameplay than to Counterstrike, the Tenno as a race are closer to Samurai than to jet pilots. Their language is riddled with Eastern expressions, their design is very Macross-ey (Mecha anima, from which Battletech, among others, plagiarized designs - which may be source of your view there, too), and their rolls, slides, jumps and even more importantly, their melee fighting has a very strong Asian handwriting.

You can see, in the way they wield their swords and daggers, that they subscribed to the school of agility of crushing force. Many European blade weapons where based on focussing energy on a slim edge to crush bones and rupture flesh, whereas Asian sword fighting is more based on cuts and slices, causing lethal bleeding - and puncture wounds, for deep penetration. While the European sword fighting is more about overhead slams, side swipes, parades, all with force and tiring impact incase of a block, the Asian sword fighting goes for avoiding the block, disabling limbs, diagonal strikes and puncture wounds, to have the enemy faint and dismantle.

The Lotus is more than a name, it's a reoccuring image in Asian lore. Tenno is the Japanese word for emperor, and the Tenno is also the First Priest of the Shinto. And so on, and so on. Their entire image and culture, from what we know so far, is based around a monastic breed of strict and honed warriors. Not so much pilots or soldiers. These guys perform war as art - and not as a profession.

Well yes, I understood the tone of it being Eastern, and having heavy influence of Asian Combat and well, almost everything in this game is like that.

I don't mean for the WARFRAMEs to be hulking suits of metal 10 stories tall. Maybe more like Halo is what I'm trying to reffer to.

I think we all could use a little more explaining with the Lore, of the WARFRAME universe.

Even if our own assumptions are creative and are very nice. It's still not like the real thing. Sorta like pudding..

However, I guess my opinion is also more heavily influenced because of the games, and books I've read over the years.

I never really got into that whole.. Asian-y Vibe of things.

Maybe they could throw in a Western sort of WARFRAME? I'd like to see someone wielding a Broadsword or Claymore shouting "FREEEEEDDDOOMMM!!!!" (It's a Joke don't take it more than it's face value. )

[Ced23Ric]

However, I guess my opinion is also more heavily influenced because of the games, and books I've read over the years.

I never really got into that whole.. Asian-y Vibe of things.

Oh, if you didn't watch some animes, played some Eastern 3rd person games (Dynasty Warrior), read some novels or watched some movies like Tiger & Dragon or Hero or House of the Flying Daggers, it won't strike you as much, true. The differences are also graphical. In Halo, the MJOLNIR suit uses typical Western elements: armour plates with hard edges, bulky frame, broad shoulders, pronounced crotch (Sorry.) and overall "mighty" aesthetics. The usage of pseudo-mystical and biblical names (Mjolnir, the hammer of Thor, god of thunder; Halo; then the Pillar of Autumn as another image of strength, etc.), evoking might is again something very akin to Western scifi/singular hero tales.

The Eastern ones are more about skill, honed abilities, experience, sacrifice to reach excellence, clarity of mind through physical activities, beauty of a well-executed craft, and their image of prowess is dominated by skill rather than force. Dodging a blow is more skillful than weathering it. Agility trumps armour. The images drawn in that regard or more subtle, more cut down to put the person, not the gear into the spotlight. Not everyone could be a Tenno. It's a path of personal sacrifice and discipline. Blabla.

Maybe they could throw in a Western sort of WARFRAME? I'd like to see someone wielding a Broadsword or Claymore shouting "FREEEEEDDDOOMMM!!!!" (It's a Joke don't take it more than it's face value. )

Only if that frame can shoot lightnings out of his butt. ;)

[Alacratha]

Oh, if you didn't watch some animes, played some Eastern 3rd person games (Dynasty Warrior), read some novels or watched some movies like Tiger & Dragon or Hero or House of the Flying Daggers, it won't strike you as much, true. The differences are also graphical. In Halo, the MJOLNIR suit uses typical Western elements: armour plates with hard edges, bulky frame, broad shoulders, pronounced crotch (Sorry.) and overall "mighty" aesthetics. The usage of pseudo-mystical and biblical names (Mjolnir, the hammer of Thor, god of thunder; Halo; then the Pillar of Autumn as another image of strength, etc.), evoking might is again something very akin to Western scifi/singular hero tales.

The Eastern ones are more about skill, honed abilities, experience, sacrifice to reach excellence, clarity of mind through physical activities, beauty of a well-executed craft, and their image of prowess is dominated by skill rather than force. Dodging a blow is more skillful than weathering it. Agility trumps armour. The images drawn in that regard or more subtle, more cut down to put the person, not the gear into the spotlight. Not everyone could be a Tenno. It's a path of personal sacrifice and discipline. Blabla.

Only if that frame can shoot lightnings out of his butt. ;)

Aye, it's much different then the Western form of fighting and combat, It's just hard to adjust my story thinking that way!

It's a bit of an eye-opener though. Since I feel like all my Voice Recordings are now uselss for anything since they're very "western" like.

As with my story. Which was consisting of several western elements. Things like "As I sat there, holding what was left of her.. I wept. Not because of the pain of losing someone. Not because I was going to die here too. But I wept because I did not know her name, she was merely the name of her Exo-skeleton. MAG."

So it's going to need much more work now..

DARN YOU FOR EJUMAKATING ME!

Edited January 3, 2013 by Alacratha

[Ced23Ric]

"As I sat there, holding what was left of her.. I wept. Not because of the pain of losing someone. Not because I was going to die here too. But I wept because I did not know her name, she was merely the name of her Exo-skeleton. MAG."

"Her shape, broken and shattered on the ground, reminded me of the price of failure. She was a master of her craft, an epitome of universal laws and physics bent and formed into suitable tools. I wept, not because out of fear for my own existence, but because of the loss of her art, her experience. Past her skills, her personality was a secret to me. Her name was lost in the flow and tide of time. Now that her story had ended, it would stay lost. But I could not stop here. her life had been given to fight for our cause. It would shame me would I not honour it by finding resolve again. Maybe consolation, in that she died a warrior's death."

Sacrifice, overcoming pain, catharsis, defiance, resolve, no surrender. Imagine tiny Japan, imagine being fought by mighty empires. Imagine ruthlessness as a perk, not something to worry about. :)

[Alacratha]

"Her shape, broken and shattered on the ground, reminded me of the price of failure. She was a master of her craft, an epitome of universal laws and physics bent and formed into suitable tools. I wept, not because out of fear for my own existence, but because of the loss of her art, her experience. Past her skills, her personality was a secret to me. Her name was lost in the flow and tide of time. Now that her story had ended, it would stay lost. But I could not stop here. her life had been given to fight for our cause. It would shame me would I not honour it by finding resolve again. Maybe consolation, in that she died a warrior's death."

Sacrifice, overcoming pain, catharsis, defiance, resolve, no surrender. Imagine tiny Japan, imagine being fought by mighty empires. Imagine ruthlessness as a perk, not something to worry about. :)

Hm... It's not something I'm used to writing, but I think I can do it.

It's one of those things thats out of your comfort-zone and you feel like you're going to fail and then be laughed at xD

But, I do appreciate your insight, and my apologies also for de-railing your current thread and story.

[[DE]Rebecca]

A place for all Feedback on our "The Dust Settled" FanFic thread.

NOTE: moved all non story-related feedback to this thread.

[SilverBones]

Good plan. The fic deserves it's own space, seeing as how well it is written.

Good job, sir. Amazing stuff!

[GhostRiderLSOV]

Really like the story so far and want to see more. :)

[Ced23Ric]

Next installment is up. :)

[Scyfle]

I loved how you put a whole zen atmosphere to the warriors.

You talked about how the Tenno here use eastern style sword fighting, precise cuts and bleeding.

While in appearance they are using eastern slashing techniques in the game,

I thought that the satisfaction of the swords felt western.

I felt the Grineer's flesh and bone crush against my blade as I sliced them in half through the center, it did not feel like a clean slice, it felt rough.

I don't remember any Japanese hack'n'slash to feel like that.

Dynasty Warriors felt like empty slices through thin paper.

Ninja Gaiden felt close, but more like shredding flesh with a chipped chef's knife.

Here it felt like a cleaver chopping straight through steel, flesh, then bone.

[Ced23Ric]

Finally got off my lazy &amp;#&#33; and wrote another installment.

[Alacratha]

Finally got off my lazy &amp;#&#33; and wrote another installment.

Ced23Ric, why must you be an amazing writer?

I really want to try and get the models now and put them into SFM so I can make a machinima out of this..

[Ced23Ric]

Ced23Ric, why must you be an amazing writer?

I bow my head in humble appreciation of anyone who works his way through all those letters.

[Icaelus]

I read everything and I must say, I am more or less in love with the writing. It places a lot of history into the people who actually wear the Warframes, the Tenno.