TheThreadWeaver Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 ((So I'm a little out of my depth here, haha. Whenever I write it's typically in a contemporary / urban fantasy setting, so I'm kind of out of my comfort zone when it comes to writing in the tone of Warframe, which is some kind of neo-epic space opera. Be that as it may I thought I'd try something different as a good exercise. Here's something I whipped up real quick. It begins in medias res. Please be honest with feedback.)) His suit – his skin writhed around the wound. The heavy ferrite slug slid out of the tract, pushed out by the new flesh. It hung in the air. He brushed it aside, and It made no sound as it hit the wall. They had not been able to stop him. They had shot him with their guns. They had stabbed him with their knives. They had made barricades of their fallen, and it had not been enough. So they had blown out the glass of the window and sealed him in. Perhaps they had thought that the solitude would weaken him. And perhaps they were right. His breath grew thin as the minutes drew on. He had time left, but it would not last forever. Nothing ever did. He would have to reset the lockdown eventually, close the shutters. But at that moment, he could not be bothered. He was lost now, blissfully so. He watched as a shard of glass drifted by, passing through a sphere of blood in the air and out the other side, scattering ruby droplets. He looked out into the vastness. He saw the stars. She would have loved to see it, how clear it was from here. Binary and neutron stars, nebulae, galaxies spiraling lazily beyond the Milky Way. There was Andromeda. Albireo and Deneb shaped the wings of Cygnus for him. He saw Callisto crest the horizon of Jupiter. They had gone there once, to the ice fields. She had always loved the snow, too warm for its chill to be more than a bother. She had delighted in the footprints she’d left. He wondered if they were still there, on that sleeping moon. He hoped they were. He remembered how she had sung to him there, after they had tired, lying in the snow. That old childhood rhyme: And as I walked those oaken halls And roamed Elysian shores, I knew that I had doomed myself To return home nevermore. The memory broke over him like a wave, tugging the chorus out of him. “To return there nevermore.” “What was that, Tenno?” Lotus asked. “Nothing,” he said. He tapped the panic panel, and heavy motors rolled the breach shutters into place. The silence was broken by the hiss of air surging back in to fill the vacuum. “It was just the passing of a dream.” He drew his blade. The doors opened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptimumBow0 Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 2 Things: 1) Why has nobody else commented 2) Why are there not more upvotes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverBones Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 Agreed. This needs more upvotes. Have mine, sir! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
W4RH3AD Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 Wow. Do you like, have any writing background or something? I'd be interested in reading moreee. ;o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheThreadWeaver Posted February 14, 2014 Author Share Posted February 14, 2014 Thank you very much for the support. I might expand this into something else, or leave it as it is. I'll have to try and see how it flows after a few more pokes and prods. Wow. Do you like, have any writing background or something? I'd be interested in reading moreee. ;o Actually, yes. I have a degree in English with a focus on creative writing, and I've been writing recreationally for a few years : P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feyrbrand3 Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 That was very enjoyable to read! An excellent piece of writing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheThreadWeaver Posted February 15, 2014 Author Share Posted February 15, 2014 Thank you very much Feyrbrand3. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Himari- Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 2 Things: 1) Why has nobody else commented 2) Why are there not more upvotes? Very very nice. The story kept me reading. Just like in the above quote, you shall have my upvote! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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