You seem to dance around the point I'm trying to make, so let me be completely clear: I don't care what feels right. I only care what is right. And deciding for everyone what they should or should not be offended with is absolutely not right. People may not even think twice about a certain phrase, but you've decided it's BAD and set the rules, so now it should be bad for everyone. Do you see the problem? The dangerous part of that practice is that it meets resistance that organically emerges from the whole structure. People start making up new words, the banned words are deemed even more offensive, the frustration grows, people lash out more, try to bait each other into saying something that was RULED BAD.
The "comfort" in the community as a whole diminishes as a result. Analogy time: The wildfires are a natural phenomenon that occurred even before humanity has set its foot on... anything. But have you heard of the "Smokey Bear effect"? I could probably cross-reference some exact dates if I did some digging, but essentially this is what took place: There was a large campaign in the United States that started around 40's or 50's dedicated to prevention of forest fires. It worked really well for a rather long time. Enough time, in fact, for the forest to grow extra dense and for the undergrowth to get extra flammable (see where my analogy comes in, eh? eh?), so the very next major fire that happened caused many times the damage that a series of normal forest fires would. Sigh... Can't you just let thinking people solve minor disputes on their own instead of highly regulating and limiting the ways they can communicate? Or is it just too late and there's too few thinking people left in your opinion? Yes, people do tend to overreact momentarily, especially nowadays, now that they've been sheltered for so long, but how are you supposed to make real friends when you're not even allowed to make a crude joke that they might have laughed at?
Besides, I've always been taught that rudeness is disrespect towards oneself and not the opponent. I'd only make myself look bad. And I do, occasionally, make myself look bad. This is, after all, a part of the learning experience.
Is this really hopeless? Am I alone?