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-KISS-Chewii

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    Have You Ever Been Bullied When You Were In School And What Happened

    in Off Topic

    Posted

    Disclaimer: I'm not trying to win anyone over to a religion of any kind. I'm just telling my story. Whether or not you read it is up to you.

     

    I moved to a new school right at the beginning of middle school. I didn't have any friends at all and since I didn't really have any consistent friends through elementary school I wasn't too worried about it and never tried or went out of my way to try and make new ones because they never stuck around anyways. This was fine for me, I didn't really care about not having friends to be honest until one day the bottom of my backpack busted out. My parents didn't want to buy me a new one and figured I could just use my sisters old one. I personally thought it was a pretty cool bag since it was a pokemon bag and I really liked pokemon back then, but unfortunately it made me stand out and caused people to target me, make fun of me, and call me names. I didn't care about it either because at the time I was very into the Christian faith and because of it I held back what I wanted to say always telling myself things like "Two wrongs don't make a right" "Maybe they're just having a bad day and need an outlet". It's foolish looking back on it now the way I used to think back then, but I can't change that.

    This continued all the way through my entire 7th grade year and after a while it started to wear me down, but I didn't want to tell anyone about how I would cry myself to sleep or cut my wrists, I was worried I would be a burden on those around me and in turn get pushed away as well. I spent that entire summer dreading the day that I would have to go back to that hell and the anticipation of it only made things worse. Because of my Christian faith I started to convince myself that if like is supposed to be so much better in Heaven then maybe I should just off myself so I can get from what is happening to me here. I hated what my life was.

    8th grade year started, and most normal kids dread going back to school for pretty standard reasons, you know, like homework and stuff like that. I had an entirely different reasons. Sure enough as predicted it started up again the first day, but this year around it was going to be worse, I could already tell, most of my class periods had 2 to 3 regular offenders and my lunch period was full of them. It started getting worse though. They started moving on from name calling and such to actual physical acts of violence, slamming me into lockers, jumping me after I got off the bus, stuff like that, I even had to go to the ER at one point for getting nailed in the head with a lock from somebodies locker. At this point my parents started to notice something was wrong, and I later found out that they had thought so for a while before finally asking me about it. Their first tip off was the immense amount of weight I had lost because I would skip lunch everyday to stay out of the lunch room, sometimes even getting in trouble on purpose so I could each lunch in the "lunch detention room" (We had one of those, never really understood why). When they did ask me I shrugged it off and said everything was fine. Not long after this the dreams started. Dreams where I would watch as I kill myself or finding myself dead, and apparently since my bed was up against the wall between my sister's room and mine she could hear me flailingly around violently in my sleep. I remember one dream vividly which I will share just to give you an idea of what they were like.

     

    I woke up and went to school like it was any normal day, but in this dream nobody noticed me at all. If I tried to talk to someone I would be ignored and the weather outside was dark, not like nighttime but not like it was overcast or stormy, just dark. After I went through the whole day of school and finally got home I walked into my room to find myself hung from the ceiling fan. I woke up, scared and in a panic, it made me feel as if even if I did kill myself no one would care, no one would be effected or miss me so it couldn't do any harm to anyone but myself right? Luckily I never got that chance. I prayed that morning after having seen that dream asking  that "If there is a reason for me to be here on this earth then please God send me a sign!"

    I got that sign that day while at school. The counselor randomly pulled me into her office that day to more or less make sure the kids are familiar with her and what she does. Before she let me leave she asked me if I had anything I wanted to talk to her about, or if anything had been bothering me. I quickly replied telling her I did not, but spent the rest of the school day dwelling on it. I decided that after school I was going go back and tell her, I had to! When I went back to her office I reminded her about what she asked me earlier and how I said no, and then told her lied. It was very emotional for me, it was the first time I was able to tell someone what I had gone through and what I had been thinking all that time. I of course missed my bus ride because of this so she gave me a ride home and she quickly explained to me why I was late and that I had something to tell them. Thanks to her I was finally able to let someone know. If she hadn't pulled me into her office that day there is a good chance I wouldn't be here now.

    I wont go into too much detail about what happened after that but after a whirlwind of different medications, attempted suicides, doctors, and therapy sessions I was finally ok, I was finally happy to be who I was, and I started to open up to other people and trust them more. It wasn't easy, and it's silly to think it all started with a pokemon bag, but I'm alive.

    Bullying is a serious matter because the depression and alienation that it causes is painful and depression isn't something that can entirely go away either, but as long you have friends that you can trust, or someone to talk to that understands that it's something you struggle with more often than not things will be fine as long you or the people around are able to pay attention to the signs. I've dipped down from time to time but thankfully I have my friends and family to help me. Anyone who knows me will tell you I'm a happy guy and fun to be around because I am honestly just happy to be alive.

    I doubt anyone will see this after taking so long to type it out, but I felt like I needed to.

    9EIPDZ7.jpg

    Wts Female Tiger Print Sunika

    in Trading Post

    Posted · Edited by ChewiiDew

     

    ZcPV3LU.jpg

    It's got grey fur with red tiger stripes (Both you currently cannot get from the colour/pattern packs)

    So I guess starting bid at 50

    Buyout of 150.

    -Edit-

    All grown up now! :D

    sNw2V78.jpg

    XlezLrG.jpg

    It's almost Mirage height, it's what seems to me to be a medium build and again it's got red tiger stripes which you cannot get through buying patterns or the colour pack.

    Excavation's Stopping Randomly

    in Missions & Levels

    Posted

    Excavations have been stopping randomly for me, there are no drills yet the scanner will not scan for anything it's as if there is already a drill or two on the map but there isn't it's completely blank there's only extraction, and the drill and it's really hard to get a high score for me if it keeps doing this.

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