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ITT we are grineer


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be me, 3 years old, fresh from tubes on neosaturn

suddenly 10/10 hottie says hi to me when we crawl next to eachother in the tube leading to our habitation pods

1 year ago, when i was still a teenager, i was fatter than a food tube, so i decided to go to a gymboratory to gain muscles and enlist

i spent a year lifting tubes up and putting them down. i was no longer skoom.


i never said hi to such a hot girl before, but i saw that she admired my new muscles and i decided to go in

it feels way too good to be true

we engaged in small talk 'wow the weather is so nice today!' 'yeah i know, arent the constant hurricanes here so pretty?'

2 months roll by, and she breaks up with her gene mate

starts coming on to me, holding my tubes, enlisting in the same tubeship


feels too good to be true

we proceed to tubedate

one day she makes me take her into my tuberoom

i decide to do it for the first time

yes, i was gonna do it

i was gonna let her inspect my genome map and look over hers, and submit both the files to the tube cloning department on the galleon.

it would have been my first time

then  i realize it must be some stupid joke

has muscles and brain augmentations made me stupid? its obviously some stupid joke i thought. after being rejected by so many girls, why would i suddenly find one that likes me

we lie down together on the tubebed

she looks at me with her eye tubes and i look back at her. our tubes are pumping blood really quickly

i do nothing, kiss her good night and roll over. we break up tommorow without a single word and never say anything to eachother again. definetely the smartest decision, since that was obviously some tenno scum ploy



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