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Path of Warframe: The Quest for the Average Neck

[DE]Rebecca

By [DE]Rebecca,
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[DE]Rebecca

[DE]Rebecca 186,741

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averageneck2.jpg
We are pleased to announce that we've partnered with Grinding Gear Games to bring you the most ambitious of all crossovers, Path of Warframe: The Quest for the Average Neck. As with all Path of Warframe expansions, this expansion will be free to play but somehow steal your entire wallet. Available alongside the next alignment of Mercury and Jupiter!

Play either Path of Exile's Templar or Warframe's Atlas in the pursuit for an average sized neck. This first-person top-down Action RPG hack-n-shooter focuses on complex gameplay styles that have no explanation but reward you, the gamer, with loot, items, treasure, currency, loot, items, loot and M I C R O T R A N S A C T I O N S (in exchange for sweet, sweet moolah).

Path of Warframe includes exclusive microtransactions such as the Itchy Necklace, the Allergy Inducing Scarf, Oozing Rash, Goiter, Hickie, Shoulder Hair Vegan Neck Tattoo and a Plunging V-neck for those looking for a cosmetic extension to their crunched vertebrae. For you top tier ultimate number one gamers, you may also be able to unlock the coveted Neckbeard Cosmetic.

We've also fed both games' Community Directors, Rebecca and Rebekah into an AI: Introducing REBBEX

Spoiler

 

REBBBEX.png

 

 

 


She'll be here to post gifs on your livestreams, introduce new content, destroy Twitter and kill all humans.

Path of Warframe will be available exclusively on our own Path of Warframe launcher where we will support such games as Path of Exile, Warframe and Path of Warframe. New games coming to you in the year 902010. Be sure to download our launcher for exclusive access to exclusive content and to add to your exclusive launcher collection.

If this sounds like the crossover for you be sure to clap your hands and like LITERALLY raise the roof. Would you like to know how to play? We made a chart for your beautiful eyeballs. Please consume it immediately.

averageneck3.jpg


Here are the full patch notes for Path of Warframe Version 1:

  • Merged two games from different genres.
  • The monetisation/community management styles are similar but what are we doing lolol
  • Introduced new quest: average neck, cut out the necks of enemies and craft them into armour
  • Nerfed and buffed all skills (they're the same).
  • Introduced 420 new cosmetic items.
  • Added necks to all enemies, even the ones that don't really need them.
  • New game mode: NvN -- Whose neck can take the crown and shove it down past the ears?
  • The Templar can no longer wear up to seven amulets at once.
  • ]The Atlas Warframe can now wear up to one (1) amulet, as long as the chain is pretty thin.
  • Introducing the Neck Tree: Plan your path through several different vertebrae, but be careful -- a single misaligned allocation can really hurt like a bitch.
  • Added a comprehensive tutorial for all of these features. Lol JK.
  • Fixed a bug where you could play as any non-Templar class.
  • Fixed a bug where microtransaction purchases were non-mandatory.
  • Fixed a bug where the Templar would incorrectly say "I am no beast of burden" when his inventory was full, rather than the correct "WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY NECK" line.
  • Added a new game mode: Bug or Feature?
  • Added a new skill: Whiplash -- Throw your head in a random direction to deal damage in an area around and below your skull. Modifiers to neck length increase the damage dealt to yourself. Or mores the damage dealt? I always get those confused. It does more increases to the double.

 

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(XBOX)Skippy575

(XBOX)Skippy575 4,468

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3 hours ago, [DE]Rebecca said:

Plunging V-neck for those looking for a cosmetic extension to their crunched vertebrae.

This is strange April Fools humor, but in all seriousness can this right here become an actual thing? Atlas with a V-neck would be dope.

Edit: I'll even settle for a glyph or a K-Drive scrawl, just make this happen.

Edited by (XB1)Skippy575
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DrBorris

DrBorris 10,986

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5 minutes ago, Nox_Terminus said:

See there's only one problem, where's the Epic Store exclusivity?

My assumption is that the Path of Warframe Launcher will be exclusively available on the Epic Launcher, the future is exclusive launchers nested in exclusive launchers. Real next gen stuff here.

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Jarl44k

Jarl44k 41

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So this was where the joke was hiding! Was looking at the market all day long for the joke item that would pop out: Dual Redeeming Gram Prime + Juggernaut Helminth Variant pet. Also, Atlas neckless state should make him reduce enemy accuracy since they don't know where to aim for!

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Ionenschatten

Ionenschatten 14

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As a BETA Tester I first had my concerns whether this would actually be a good game or not but now seeing this eradicated any doubt.
I've spent so many happy hours in that game that I'm sure other people will have as much fun as I had when I played through the tutorial and the first 69 missions.

The Story, the world, everything feels so four-dimensional. It's simply stunning.

I btw got the beta-tester version of it.

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