Self-damage has been a pretty hot topic on the Reddit of late, and since that place allows downvotes, determined naysayers can push down a real solution in favour of their demands that self-damage is made irrelevant in any number of ways.
I found a solution and I am here to share it with you all and DE - whom I implore to not cave in and outright kill off a weapon archetype because of this vocal subset.
Two facts we know:
The Tonkor Meta existed and was a horrible mistake. DE ack