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12 minutes ago, (XB1)Salty Ginger said:

I havent tried CBD but VA laws are becoming more relaxed on the subject so I'll give it a try soon 😁

VA as in Virginia?

Just CBD products are supposed to be Federally legal, aren't they?

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4 minutes ago, (XB1)Salty Ginger said:

Yes but virginia just recently last couple years made it easier to gain access to it for people who need it. Also the devil's lettuce will be decriminalized in july here. 

 I bought CBD off Groupon at one point lol 

It works well for my migraines.  Since I'm a Light weight I'm able to use a lot less than most, so 1 pack of gummies or a jar of muscle rub lasts me a couple months. 

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20 minutes ago, MagPrime said:

 I bought CBD off Groupon at one point lol 

It works well for my migraines.  Since I'm a Light weight I'm able to use a lot less than most, so 1 pack of gummies or a jar of muscle rub lasts me a couple months. 

See that's my problem I'm a tall stocky individual and when it comes to anything whether it be meds or drinks or other it takes a lot for me to get a good effect going

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14 hours ago, (XB1)Salty Ginger said:

I have prescription stuff all those over the counters I would have to take too many 

Hmm, I hope you find something suitable for you.

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Posted (edited)
13 hours ago, (PS4)sweatshawp said:

I think I’m losing attraction to my gf well I know I’m not anymore but I think I just need to vent

Well I had a dream I had a gf and then I woke up single so...idk be happy with what ya got? Lol

 

Edited by (XB1)Salty Ginger
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2 minutes ago, (PS4)sweatshawp said:

Hard being happy lmao

Tbh we should get more I from you to be able to give a helpful advice. I could try, but it's just shooting in the dark.

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2 minutes ago, (PS4)Viveeeh said:

Tbh we should get more I from you to be able to give a helpful advice. I could try, but it's just shooting in the dark.

Wall of text warning.

so as a preface I’m 21 and I only make 10 an hour and still live with my mom(at my 9-5) I do level design almost full time with a company as well. But since this pandemic has brokeout I need to be at my actual 9-5 more and my team understands that so our project is slowed down and I’m not getting paid as much from my second source of income I help take care of my grandpa and LIL bro As well. 

My gf has not had a job for coming up to a year. I am not an old fashioned person so I don’t believe in taking care of everything my gf needs considering we aren’t married and to be honest given how I feel right now idk if that will ever. Be. Possibility.  I feel very very very disrespected by her mom who by the way always has something to say about the gifts I get her as if they aren’t enough and she feels like I should take care of HER daughter whom she still lives with along with her father.  I don’t mind paying for dates and going out and to see you but it’s no effort on her end to try to make these things special. She’s a sweet girl and isn’t entitled or anything but lazy. She always seems bothered by not having money to do things or go places and very seldom asks me but dosent do anything to fix it. At the same time again I feel like everytime I want to do something with here I have to make the move spend my money and basically do everything. It just rubs me the wrong way. And I’m starting to just lose attraction to her. Granted she is clinically depressed but at the same time I can arguably be admitted into a nut house because I have DID and short of one of my personalities breaking down I lose my mind I just don’t think not having a job for coming up to a whole year and constantly being upset when people can’t or don’t feel like picking you up or taliprying their entire schedule to you is fair 

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2 hours ago, (XB1)Salty Ginger said:

I randomly have a 6 day credit and affinity booster? My 2 year anniversary was a couple days ago. Does DE do stuff like that? Or is it for everyone?🙃

I only know of the promo code wealth that drops a 3 day credit booster 

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2 hours ago, (PS4)sweatshawp said:

Wall of text warning.

so as a preface I’m 21 and I only make 10 an hour and still live with my mom(at my 9-5) I do level design almost full time with a company as well. But since this pandemic has brokeout I need to be at my actual 9-5 more and my team understands that so our project is slowed down and I’m not getting paid as much from my second source of income I help take care of my grandpa and LIL bro As well. 

My gf has not had a job for coming up to a year. I am not an old fashioned person so I don’t believe in taking care of everything my gf needs considering we aren’t married and to be honest given how I feel right now idk if that will ever. Be. Possibility.  I feel very very very disrespected by her mom who by the way always has something to say about the gifts I get her as if they aren’t enough and she feels like I should take care of HER daughter whom she still lives with along with her father.  I don’t mind paying for dates and going out and to see you but it’s no effort on her end to try to make these things special. She’s a sweet girl and isn’t entitled or anything but lazy. She always seems bothered by not having money to do things or go places and very seldom asks me but dosent do anything to fix it. At the same time again I feel like everytime I want to do something with here I have to make the move spend my money and basically do everything. It just rubs me the wrong way. And I’m starting to just lose attraction to her. Granted she is clinically depressed but at the same time I can arguably be admitted into a nut house because I have DID and short of one of my personalities breaking down I lose my mind I just don’t think not having a job for coming up to a whole year and constantly being upset when people can’t or don’t feel like picking you up or taliprying their entire schedule to you is fair 

Have you talked to her about it or sought a professional who can help you talk to her about it?

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Posted (edited)

@sweatshawp

I can speak to this. I have major social anxiety and clinical depression. Havent had a job in about 3 years. It's a huge struggle to keep a steady work flow with these type of conditions. Trust me on this that the subject is terrifying for her as it is annoying for you. And to be honest she will always be like that. You cant change it. So if it's not for you now it would be better to just leave the relationship. Also it just seems like from what I read you dont really care too much of this person?

Edited by (XB1)Salty Ginger
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30 minutes ago, (XB1)Salty Ginger said:

@sweatshawp

I can speak to this. I have major social anxiety and clinical depression. Havent had a job in about 3 years. It's a huge struggle to keep a steady work flow with these type of conditions. Trust me on this that the subject is terrifying for her as it is annoying for you. And to be honest she will always be like that. You cant change it. So if it's not for you now it would be better to just leave the relationship. Also it just seems like from what I read you dont really care too much of this person?

As someone who also suffers from depression and did I can understand but it’s not really moreso her depression stopping her from getting a job but her. She quit her last job because she got angry and just left. And since then she hasn’t really tried or attempted yes I do understand depression may play a part in this but she herself has admitted such that it’s not really her depression that’s really stopping her from gettin a job. And I care about her a lot. For the past year this woman has been my

world. But I’m getting tired of having to do everything and despite my DID And her being One  of the people in real life that know I have it as well as my bipolar depression I get no support on my end. It’s only me helping her 

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1 hour ago, (PS4)sweatshawp said:

As someone who also suffers from depression and did I can understand but it’s not really moreso her depression stopping her from getting a job but her. She quit her last job because she got angry and just left. And since then she hasn’t really tried or attempted yes I do understand depression may play a part in this but she herself has admitted such that it’s not really her depression that’s really stopping her from gettin a job. And I care about her a lot. For the past year this woman has been my

world. But I’m getting tired of having to do everything and despite my DID And her being One  of the people in real life that know I have it as well as my bipolar depression I get no support on my end. It’s only me helping her 

Ah ok I fully understand now. yea that's a bad situation. I'm sorry. 

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@(PS4)sweatshawp, this is indeed a difficult situation. It's very challenging and tends to wear a relationship down if one half of a couple is battling with depression or any kind of psychological disorders, but if I understand right, you have DID (dissociative personality disorder) and bipolar depression, while you girl has unipolar depression?

Now, after this more elaborate description of the situation, maybe I'm still dead wrong, I don't know you guys in person, after all. But anyway, here's my two cents! So, you're saying your girlfriend not having a job has a negative impact on your relationship, because you feel being used. You work two jobs at 21 (which is admirable, to be honest) to be financially stable and help your family, and have no money or motivation to also support this lazy girl (and she and her mom seem like they want something similar, despite she lives at home). I'm not sure about the laziness part though, as others also said, depression can make keeping a job hard, which is true. Note that she does not have the ups and downs of your bipolar disorder, only the downs (and you did not mention if you're currently in the "energetic" or in the depressive phase, but this is also important for the dynamic of your relationship). Nevertheless, this does not mean you're the one who should carry the whole thing by himself, you guys both have problems, it's only fair if you both are working on a solution. One sided relationships tend to break after the person who is making the effort comes to their senses after that period of intensive, mad new love passes - and this is exactly what's happening with you.

Now, to the possible solution. After reading your story, I'm not sure your girlfriend knows if there's a problem at all. Did you sit down with her and and explain to her how her behaviour impacts your feelings? You think she's lazy, but you can never know, if she understands your relationship is at stake, maybe that will be the final drop to make her start making changes to her life and get back on her feet. And, regardless of depression (and I'm saying this because of my own bitter experience too), when you're in your first serious relationship, it's easy to take things granted - but they aren't, and things definitely go wrong if you stop making efforts. Maybe she just needs a wake-up call.

You also didn't mention, are you guys getting professional help? If yes, just jump to the next paragraph. If no... What you said gives me the impression you're functioning well despite of your difficulties, but your girlfriend isn't. Maybe no matter how seriously you emphasize how important her making an effort is to you, because she's in so deep, it's all in vain. Seeking help from an experienced professional is highly important - she seem to need it more, but you need it too.

You really care about this girl and this relationship, but you're at the end of your patience here. If this continues as is, you'll get to the point where your negative feelings overweight the positive feelings plus your sheer will to make this work, and then you'll break up with her. Both of you need to understand this is inevitable, unless you two make a joint effort - especially your girlfriend, since she seems to be the passive one (at least from your point of view anyway). 

So, this is what I think. I hope I could say something what you'll find worth the reading!

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1 hour ago, (PS4)Viveeeh said:

and then you'll break up with her. Both of you need to understand this is inevitable

For whatever my opinion is worth on an irrelevant to the topic forum, I agree with this.

8 years ago I dated someone with problems, and I don't regret it, but I had to break up with her because I found the relationship too mentally taxing and reached a point where I couldn't see myself going any further. For every good moment there was always a bad moment.

Last year I got back with her because she needed help with her kid, I don't regret that either, but I made the mistake of not backing off when it started to take it's toll, and I'm still paying the price for it now.

If you feel the relationship is going downhill there are only two options, imo, either you make a joint effort to rectify it, or you break it off before it drags you both down.

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2 hours ago, (PS4)Viveeeh said:

@(PS4)sweatshawp, this is indeed a difficult situation. It's very challenging and tends to wear a relationship down if one half of a couple is battling with depression or any kind of psychological disorders, but if I understand right, you have DID (dissociative personality disorder) and bipolar depression, while you girl has unipolar depression?

Now, after this more elaborate description of the situation, maybe I'm still dead wrong, I don't know you guys in person, after all. But anyway, here's my two cents! So, you're saying your girlfriend not having a job has a negative impact on your relationship, because you feel being used. You work two jobs at 21 (which is admirable, to be honest) to be financially stable and help your family, and have no money or motivation to also support this lazy girl (and she and her mom seem like they want something similar, despite she lives at home). I'm not sure about the laziness part though, as others also said, depression can make keeping a job hard, which is true. Note that she does not have the ups and downs of your bipolar disorder, only the downs (and you did not mention if you're currently in the "energetic" or in the depressive phase, but this is also important for the dynamic of your relationship). Nevertheless, this does not mean you're the one who should carry the whole thing by himself, you guys both have problems, it's only fair if you both are working on a solution. One sided relationships tend to break after the person who is making the effort comes to their senses after that period of intensive, mad new love passes - and this is exactly what's happening with you.

Now, to the possible solution. After reading your story, I'm not sure your girlfriend knows if there's a problem at all. Did you sit down with her and and explain to her how her behaviour impacts your feelings? You think she's lazy, but you can never know, if she understands your relationship is at stake, maybe that will be the final drop to make her start making changes to her life and get back on her feet. And, regardless of depression (and I'm saying this because of my own bitter experience too), when you're in your first serious relationship, it's easy to take things granted - but they aren't, and things definitely go wrong if you stop making efforts. Maybe she just needs a wake-up call.

You also didn't mention, are you guys getting professional help? If yes, just jump to the next paragraph. If no... What you said gives me the impression you're functioning well despite of your difficulties, but your girlfriend isn't. Maybe no matter how seriously you emphasize how important her making an effort is to you, because she's in so deep, it's all in vain. Seeking help from an experienced professional is highly important - she seem to need it more, but you need it too.

You really care about this girl and this relationship, but you're at the end of your patience here. If this continues as is, you'll get to the point where your negative feelings overweight the positive feelings plus your sheer will to make this work, and then you'll break up with her. Both of you need to understand this is inevitable, unless you two make a joint effort - especially your girlfriend, since she seems to be the passive one (at least from your point of view anyway). 

So, this is what I think. I hope I could say something what you'll find worth the reading!

Thank you guys so much for the help ahead of time btw. I seldom get very personal for reasons that I try to keep up the troll facade  but I’m very drained as of late.

But yes I have DID and bipolar depression. 

My Depression is in check as of right now but I’m not going to lie I’ve never been exactly able to control my personalities perfectly but we coexist in a sense if that can aid you into giving you some insight on how I function somewhat while being very vague.

Now I do feel like it’s not her being just utterly lazy and entitled. But her mother definitely does feed into this behavior while also condemning it? If that makes sense. Like “your bf (me ) should do this” whilst she is your daughter. There was even an instance where her father had bought her a PS4 from one of those rent a center places where you make down payments and he just felt like not paying it one Month so he literally asked me to pay for her payments. After me explaining to him that I can’t do that he got annoyed and told me  and i quote “well if you pay half I will pay you back” to  which I agreed because at the time I really wanted to play games with her. That was almost 7 months ago. And I have not received my money back which dosent bother me to the fact that he didn’t pay me back but as a man I feel like you should never say things you can’t hold to your word. And he’s older then me and it makes me feel some type of way about him. Nonetheless they encourage this behavior with other people but discourage it if they have to pay for it. At the same time I’ve literally put my word and my name on the line trying to get her a job a multiple spots to which she’s shown little to no initiate to follow up with. At my current job to which I’m practically an assistant manager I talked to my gm and my higher up and they basically said all she had to do was come in and she had the job. To which she declined after I set this up because her parents said the job was too far and they don’t have a car so unless if I was driving her I they wouldn’t want her to be spending that much money via lyfts and Uber’s. It’s other situations but it’s just a lot to get into. And not getting into her personal situation I am very understanding. That’s why I think I’ve just been trying to be supportive for so long. But it’s tiring and draining. And her parents don’t help at. Two days ago it was her birthday so I sent her $50 to get red dead redemption (something happened and psn charged her so she just got black desert instead) and I got her a cute bracelet that I thought she’d enjoy. But since it’s not a pandora bracelet her mom is upset. Nonetheless I feel like I should move on because this is becoming more of a venting session then me talking about the issue at hand. 

I confronted her about it and talked to her about it earlier today and I hate that it had to be over text as my mom is not to fond of her and feels like she’s a gold digger (momma sweat does not know about her at home situation with her mom so I don’t blame her) so she’s taking this quarantine as a time for us to spend more time together and dosent want me risking getting my asthmatic LIL bro her or my grand pa sick to which I understand so I’m not really  going to risk going out to see anyone right now. But she cried for a bit and agreed with me and said how she’s going to change and all this stuff and she means it. And personally I don’t believe such as I stated to her bluntly. To which she tried to assure me that she was serious. But idk don’t trust it. 

Either way I’m giving it a few more months and if not sir sweat is going to go back into my dorito filled 4 hour fashion frame sessions of loneliness. (It’s actually therapeutic I’m just being dramatic ) 

also in regards to professional help. While

im not poor I’m no where near stable to afford something like that. And I wouldn’t mind. There’s a lot more besides this that I’d love to discuss in a couples counseling scenario but I just can’t afford it and I think if I’d have to pay for that myself I’d be kinda very angry. 

And again I care about the lad a lot. But I feel more like a father figure then a boyfriend cause it’s just eh. The honeymoon phase was over months ago and all my friends are kinda looking at me like I’m crazy. But besides the fact I could be. I don’t think it’s right to just give up on somebody. But I’m almost at that point 

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Posted (edited)

@(PS4)sweatshawp  Seems like her parents aren't financially responsible people. This story with the PS4 payment is just weird. And her mom, being unhappy about the bracelet you got for your girlfriend is not some fancy and expensive brand... If she didn't have any other role models growing up, she might have turned out the same, so I understand if you don't believe her when she says she'll change. But let her actions speak, if you want to give this a few month to see how things will turn out, she'll have plenty of time to prove you she means what she promised. And if she won't change anything... Well, at least you got your answer.

It's also important that dating someone and carelessly enjoying eachother's company is one thing. But as a relationship becomes more serious, and you start thinking about how your life would be if you decide to live together and potentially marry, it's suddenly not so simple anymore. I know you aren't at that point, but just something to think about: you aren't just marrying someone, but her family too. It's hard to admit, but your relationship to your wife's family, and her relationship to your family is also very important. And while people can handle a situation where not everyone is on good terms with everyone else in the family, it's just so much easier and better if you all like eachother. I'm saying this according to personal experience too.

1 hour ago, (PS4)sweatshawp said:

The honeymoon phase was over months ago and all my friends are kinda looking at me like I’m crazy. But besides the fact I could be. I don’t think it’s right to just give up on somebody. But I’m almost at that point 

I like this opinion very much! It's a good thing that you don't just throw away everything and run at the first sight of complications, but actively try to make things better. No relationship worth to destroy yourself over it though, and it's also a good thing you see that. I hope you two can figure it out, you seem to really like this girl, and she isn't at all a lost case, but from now on everything is basically on her and her decisions.

Oh and one more thought. Venting sessions are useful. Someone goes to a therapist to vent, you unfortunately don't have that option, but for venting, a friend is equally useful. Or a forum thread 😉

Edited by (PS4)Viveeeh
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2 hours ago, (PS4)sweatshawp said:

I don’t think it’s right to just give up on somebody.

Interestingly, I disagree with @(PS4)Viveeeh as I don't like this opinion. Primarily because, based on what I've skimmed through whilst hobbling back home, you wouldn't be just giving up. You have tried, without success, to fix matters.

To that end you aren't just giving up, as I'd argue that implies you never tried to do anything else besides that. You're right, just giving up on someone isn't necessarily the nicest thing to do, but as someone who has both given up on others and been given up on, I don't believe that is what you're doing. Attempts are being made and not everyone gets to say that.

So, to that end, the opinion whilst admirable I don't believe is applicable.

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48 minutes ago, DeMonkey said:

Interestingly, I disagree with @(PS4)Viveeeh as I don't like this opinion. Primarily because, based on what I've skimmed through whilst hobbling back home, you wouldn't be just giving up. You have tried, without success, to fix matters.

To that end you aren't just giving up, as I'd argue that implies you never tried to do anything else besides that. You're right, just giving up on someone isn't necessarily the nicest thing to do, but as someone who has both given up on others and been given up on, I don't believe that is what you're doing. Attempts are being made and not everyone gets to say that.

So, to that end, the opinion whilst admirable I don't believe is applicable.

I think Sweatshawp and I meant the same thing as you do, only maybe we couldn't phase our thoughts precisely (English isn't my native language, I aim to translate as good as I can, especially when it comes to serious subjects, but it never will be perfect). When I said it's good that he doesn't just run away when the first problem emerges, I meant in general. I find this important to clarify, because I also think he really did a lot for this relationship, so if he decided to give up right in this exact moment, we can't say he just gave up. 

So it's a good thing to try improving a situation/relationship if a problem emerges, but it's also important to recognise a lost cause, or to acknowledge you're at the end of your resources and step back. It's everyone's main goal to feel good in a relationship, and while you can't do long term without having to endure bad times, it's also essential to recognise where things are headed before it all ends up being the metaphorical equivalent of a dumpster fire, and you burn with it.

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5 hours ago, (PS4)Viveeeh said:

I think Sweatshawp and I meant the same thing as you do

Fair enough, I just don't want them to feel like no matter how much they do, backing away means "giving up".

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