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Im_a_Turtle

Rumors of John Prodman?

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Do you have any rumors to share about John Prodman?

I heard that John Prodman punched the very first Limbo warframe so hard that he exploded across multiple fringe universes - while phasing in the Rift.

Another rumor i've heard is that Prodman purposely sabotaged the Venus terraforming tower by simply standing in front of it and saying "Stop." The reason: he wanted to continue making Prodman snow angels inside the solid ice formations.

The last obscure rumor i've heard is that when Prodman visits Venus, he periodically punches Infested Meteorites, that almost make landfall on Orb Vallis, back into space towards Earth's orbit. That's why Orb Vallis is never infested.

 

Edit: I heard rumors that:

John Prodman punched The Wolf so hard in the face that he developed a severe speech impediment and only howls in pain at the thought of the Prodman.

If you were to look inside the barrel of an Opticor, you'll see Prodman's fist.

John Prodman uses Infested space hulks over Eris as a zero-gravity pool table, which is the reason why there are so many infested invasions occurring on nearby planets.

The interplanetary artillery cannons on Mars aren't constantly barraging enemy ships in orbit, but are shooting at John Prodman.

When John Prodman was doing a business tour over the planet of Europa on board a Corpus Obelisk frigate. He was inside the on-board gymnasium doing push ups, 1 hour later the frigate crash landed onto the surface of Europa due to severe gravitational disturbances emanating from inside of the ships hull, steadily pushing the ship down towards the planets surface.

Ember Prime's head used to never be on fire until John Prodman gave her a noogie.

John Prodman uses a Grineer Thumper as an automatic back massager.

The explosions you hear from the Cetus Tower are not from explosive charges. The town of Cetus commissions John Prodman to punch chunks off the tower whilst tied to a hot air balloon.

Sentient-transformed Ballas used to have a thicker lower torso, that is until he got into a nut-kicking contest with John Prodman...

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Rumours? About our LORD??

HERESY!!!

 

Why, the almighty, the blessed, the omnipotent Prodman has no rumours spread about him. Indeed, his majesty transcends all. One cannot have rumours of such a being. What is believed of his greatness is undoubtedly, indubitably, unquestioningly true!

Glory be to the Prodman, the Clem, and the holy Redtext.

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3 hours ago, Im_a_Turtle said:

The explosions you hear from the Cetus Tower are not from explosive charges. The town of Cetus commissions John Prodman to punch chunks off the tower whilst tied to a hot air balloon.

JP: It ain't much, but it's honest work. 

Oh and profit, that too

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John Prodman is just Chuck Norris in disguise.

John Prodman's actions do NOT have consequences...

John Prodman breathes Vey Hek's air and it IS acceptable.

When John Prodman howls, Isaah DOES come back from the dead.

When John Prodman opens an Orokin Vault, the corrupted are too scared to show up and try to stop him.

When John Prodman goes to Darvo, he  actually gets a good deal.

When Simaris designed his sanctuary onslaught, the efficiency is based on John Prodman's performance when using his bare hands.

John Prodman can talk to Little Duck WITHOUT leaving his suit.

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4 hours ago, Loza03 said:

Rumours? About our LORD??

HERESY!!!

 

Why, the almighty, the blessed, the omnipotent Prodman has no rumours spread about him. Indeed, his majesty transcends all. One cannot have rumours of such a being. What is believed of his greatness is undoubtedly, indubitably, unquestioningly true!

Glory be to the Prodman, the Clem, and the holy Redtext.

Heresy+detected+_233d552ae0ca2bbaebe4b57

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