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-Metentis-

A dialogue of Warframe lore.

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Orokin: Man it would be really cool to make a race of bamf robots we can control to go out and terraform the Tau system because we got Sol on lockdown. Let's give it a go!

Sentients: Yes to everything except that bit about control. We don't need you and we resent being made this awesome and then being expected to be your servants oh no no no!

Orokin: Mkay that didn't work. But wouldn't it be cool to make a virus that would turn people and things into bamfs we can control and make fight the robots. Let's give it a go!

Helminth: Yes to everything except that bit about control. Btw, I'm hungry af and can eat a greater variety of stuff than a goat. Like everything, I can literally consume everything.

Zariman Crew: Ooooo pretty light, let's fly into it

Tenno: Hey we're back from the pretty light, all our parents are dead, and we're so powerfully out of control we accidentally blinded the one lady that didn't immediately want us dead because we scare you.

Orokin: Ok yeah, no. Please die.. Oh wait a tick. Hey kids, get inside these tubes, there's candy and a kubrow!

Tenno: But I like Kavats

Orokin: Whatever that's what I meant just get in the damn tube! We're gonna use you to fight the... Nevermind, just get in the tube.

Orokin: Ok so that virus thing didn't go as planned. But if we kill Helminth and take their flesh and what not, it's crazy fun to mess around and build stuff with it. Plus if we stick someone we can control inside it, presto, we get what we originally wanted kinda. Don't worry about why umbra has tourettes twitches and you occasionally wake to find him staring over you with a low growl. Besides that was like a side project. Remember those freaky kids? Yeah we just remote cast their brains into the virus flesh things and control them, cause there's no reward greater than exploiting pschokinetic telepathic children in bionic battle suits. Nothing could ever go wrong with this idea.

Space Mom Prime: I don't like how y'all are treating these kids so I'm gonna go all Morpheus on your butts and mess up all your plans nanananana!

Tenno: We love you space mommy, we whip bad guys real good now.

Orokin: We sentence space mommy to death! Now you kids get back to work dying to fight off stuff we made thinking we could control it.

Balas: I was repping my crew until they killed my bu. Now I'm gonna go all frankenstein and try to imprint my beloveds brain onto a Queen robot that's gonna love me and whoop all yalls butts

Robot Space Mom: Yes to everything except loving you. I'm going to free the kids whip some robot butt and when we're done you best be out of my sight.

Tenno: We still love you space mommy.

Orokin: Well the robots buggered off, the virus is contained to a few outbreaks here and there, mostly on some old ships floating waaayyy over there. So we're going to focus our attention on getting our child soldiers back

Space Mom: Guess who just won the award for best hide and seek player ever!

Orokin: Well we're not doing so great so we're going to engage in a millennia long bout of technologically advanced inbreeding and see how things play out.

Grineer: I don't know what the hell is going on but I do know that it's all the Tenno's fault. We're gonna find you, pick the prettiest ones, and shove our queens all up in you.

Space Mom: Hey honey, yeah, I know your sleepy, but some bad men found us and want to hurt us so it's time to get up and whoop some butt again.

Tenno: Okay space mommy we love you bye bye.

Corpus: We really love money. We're willing to exploit the grineers ancient cultural roots for profit. As well as vivisect any Warframe we can catch to try to make new stuff. Plus our Helminth merger is going great.

Helminth: Yeah you guys are doing great work, best puppets ever.

Corpus: Wait, what?...

Helminth: Oh nothing don't worry about it.

Grineer: Yay we caught a Tenno, time to shove our queens all up in there.

Tenno: Yeah, no. *teleports behind chad... I mean queen* Nothing personal kid.

Grineer: How dare you not let our queens mind rape children out of their bodies!

Balas: y'all thought all us orokin were dead huh, nah fools. I'm back and I'm getting revenge on y'all kids for jacking my bu. I got all these robot homies now y'all fixing to get punkd

Sentients: We totally don't need you but we appreciate the irony and we want our sister back

Space Mom: Hey kids, I'm heading out for a gallon of milk, back in a bit.

Tenno: Ok space mommy.... Space Mommy?....... Space Mommy?!

Sentients: Her name is Natah and she's not your mom. She's our queen and we're gonna kill you all now. Why? Why the hell should we fly all the way to Tau to terraform, when we could just stay here and remove you. Cause even though we're supposedly superior artificial beings were going to repeat the cycles of violence that make us hate organic beings.

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Ordis: hey there, space kids, I'm your very own personal Siri, except I'm male, I have Tourette's, and I used to be a badass, but instead of telling you how badass I was, I'm going to shatter those fragments of my memories and scatter them all over the solar system for no ------- reason

Teshin: what's up, losers, i'm your space uncle with a mushroom hat, I'd appreciate it if you joined my PVP gamemode, but I guess freeing me from being a slave to the Grineer Queen's red juice is fine, too, i guess

(please play Conclave, it's lonely here and my only company are these two cephalons that are even more spazzy than your Spaceship Alexa

Nora Night: Welcome to the best ASMR/News YouTube channel in all of the Solar System! There's a Wolf of Satur- and he's gone. There's a Ventkid immune to the Infest- and he's gone. And now I'm gone! See you in half a year when some guy gets bored and cosplays Gara

Cy: All of Ordis' serious personality leaked into the Cephalon Weave, condensed, and became me. Also, I can't really join your Railjack team because of my PTSD, but like, no one's stopping you from installing me anyway, sooooooo

 

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