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Pure hatred: Monster Hunter movie


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So Monster Hunter is getting a movie and looking at the synopsis and some images this is a mess.

What a surprise video game movie sucks, these hollywood fossils will never stop making video game adaptations absolute hot garbage just to try getting some cash from them.

And some people want a Warframe movie which is probably Excalibur entering a void portal and he ends up on the real world or some bs like that. 

 

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For reference:

“Behind our world, there is another: a world of dangerous and powerful monsters that rule their domain with deadly ferocity. When an unexpected sandstorm transports Lt. Artemis (Milla Jovovich) and her unit (TI Harris, Meagan Good, Diego Boneta) to a new world, the soldiers are shocked to discover that this hostile and unknown environment is home to enormous and terrifying monsters immune to their firepower. In their desperate battle for survival, the unit encounters the mysterious Hunter (Tony Jaa), whose unique skills allow him to stay one step ahead of the powerful creatures. As Artemis and Hunter slowly build trust, she discovers that he is part of a team led by the Admiral (Ron Perlman). Facing a danger so great it could threaten to destroy their world, the brave warriors combine their unique abilities to band together for the ultimate showdown.”

 

Utter drivel. Could be fun utter drivel, of course, that's always possible, but even with a generous amount of benefit of the doubt it seems like it'll be failing to it important nuance at best and completely derailing the themes of the franchise at worst In all likelyhood.

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I was kinda hoping that this wasn't actually an adaptation of the game, and was simply a movie called Monster Hunter (given the synopsis is nothing like Monster Hunter), but damn. 

I'll be grumpy about this for a bit, refuse to watch the film and continue with my life, as I have done numerous times in the past. Artemis Fowl movie? Hahaha, doesn't exist as far as I'm concerned, and nor will this.

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2 hours ago, Aldain said:

For every "Sonic the Hedgehog" tier movie there are 40+ trash tier adaptation movies.

Also did they really name the lead Artemis? That's about as subtle as an atomic bomb.

Also inaccurate, considering how many totally-not-deer you have to beat the tar out of:

Kelbi | Monster Hunter Wiki | Fandom

Deer, of course, being Artemis's holy animal.

 

 

Also, according to this image, she seems to preferentially wield a great sword:

Monster Hunter Movie Delayed - IGN

As opposed to a bow.

 

 

If you're gonna make an on-the-nose reference to Greek mythology to try and legitimise your nonsense, do it right.

 

Edit:

Whoops, apparently she's a dual blades user, as the actress herself plays and prefers that weapon.

monster hunter movie dual blades

 

The male hunter was shown with a greatsword a few times though, so, he's dead.

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6 minutes ago, Loza03 said:

As opposed to a bow.

If you're gonna make an on-the-nose reference to Greek mythology to try and legitimise your nonsense, do it right.

At least dual blades is somewhat different than the stock GS which is so often the poster weapon of MH.

Pour one out for the GS user though, shoulda let go of that charge a few seconds sooner -chugs Mega Potion and flexes-.

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59 minutes ago, Aldain said:

At least dual blades is somewhat different than the stock GS which is so often the poster weapon of MH.

Pour one out for the GS user though, shoulda let go of that charge a few seconds sooner -chugs Mega Potion and flexes-.

Looks kind of like he's wearing Dober Armor. And, like, I mean, if you're not gonna go for quick charge skills...

 

Some other amusing/disappointing details:

It appears to depict use of a slinger similar to World: Monster Hunter movie posters show off Milla Jovovich's Giant Jawblade -  Polygon

 Which wouldn't be all that bad, until you realise that Rise is coming out so the delay means that this won't even be a supremely loose adaptation of the most recent game.

 

Also, Milla Jovovich, in case you aren't aware, is the directors wife, and in the Resident Evil films where she also was the main protagonist, she wound up getting crazy superpowers and outperformed all the main characters of the actual franchise.

Oh dear.

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1 minute ago, Loza03 said:

Also, Milla Jovovich, in case you aren't aware, is the directors wife, and in the Resident Evil films where she also was the main protagonist, she wound up getting crazy superpowers and outperformed all the main characters of the actual franchise.

Oh dear.

Oh dear indeed...

Good old Hollywood nepotism eh?

Only thing I can say that is positive is that the props look very authentic and solid, but prop designers usually tend to go all out no matter what piece of $*%@ they wind up working on so that's not saying much.

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OOOH! ALSO!

 

There's some old test footage. It's probably not representative of what appears in the actual movie as a result (most likely testing out VFX and real world interactions)

However, it's still worth a watch because count the inconsistencies

 

 

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Video game characters going to the "real world" is such an overdone and lazy trope by this point.

Kinda bad when the Sonic the Hedgehog (2020) movie already did that earlier this year. Though it ended up being surprisingly good in spite of the first trailer controversy.

The Monster Hunter movie, on the other hand, looks like hot garbage.

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8 hours ago, Loza03 said:

the Admiral (Ron Perlman)

don't get me wrong, Ron Perlman's OK, but Admiral is a BUFF dude in MHW, like, more than Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson levels of buff. there's a meme that him and one of the monsters, a Golden-haired Ape-like creature called Rajang are one and the same/Related. and then there's this AMAZING cutscene:

really wanted someone like Arnie or Stallone to be Admiral, because that would be awesome. the movie will probably be rubbish, but hey, Ron and Milla are getting paid big bucks so I doubt they care lol. 

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3 minutes ago, (PS4)robotwars7 said:

don't get me wrong, Ron Perlman's OK, but Admiral is a BUFF dude in MHW, like, more than Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson levels of buff. there's a meme that him and one of the monsters, a Golden-haired Ape-like creature called Rajang are one and the same/Related. and then there's this AMAZING cutscene:

 

On an equivilant note, there is an older meme that is just as 100% endorsed by the games that Rajang is, well... Goku. It can even throw a Spirit bomb in one game.

 

Therfore, the Admiral is Goku. Gotta be buff to be Goku, I'm afraid.

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Alright. 

Pros and cons.

Pros: looks at least like it's dumb fun.

Cons: They've apparently dropped the iconic logo font, if the twitter for the movie itself is anything to go by (which is 99% old stuff). Desert doesn't look particularly familiar (white sand? Correct me if I'm wrong, but most MH sand is a glorious golden colour. Might just be the lighting, and I'll admit the environment here seems alright. Diablos behaviour seems questionable - it definitely can't stand on its wings for one, and it's odd that they'd showcase it performing a throw rather than the iconic charge. At least the digging and burst-from-the-sand behaviour is right, even if the pose is wrong.

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ughhhh I hate how they keep blending realistic military hoo-rah crap into series that are supposed to be complete nonsense. The whole point is supposed to be that mindless solutions like 'just nuke it' don't exist in the setting and neither does a US military mindset.

It's like that dumbass episode of Screw Attack's Death Battle where they calculate the amount of force it would take to kick a soccer ball so hard it turns into three soccer balls, and concluded it was enough force to destroy the sun three times over or some nonsense like that. Literally no. These universes use completely different models of physics.

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2 hours ago, Densoro said:

ughhhh I hate how they keep blending realistic military hoo-rah crap into series that are supposed to be complete nonsense.

I just hate it's people from our world full stop, if you know what I mean. I was talking with a mate about it, questioning whether it's 'kinda' racism. Are these fantasy worlds and their people not interesting enough? Why do we need to relate as a species to the people in the film?

It's like, no matter how good a story may be, no matter how interesting it's people, it'll never be good enough to some people unless it has 'us' in it, and I hate that, especially when these people seem to have control over filmmaking.

I hope Milla Jovovich's character gets impaled by that Diablos within 5 seconds, and the entire "humans rule" garbage is thrown out the window in favour of big superhumans wielding car sized hunks of metal.

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4 hours ago, DeMonkey said:

I just hate it's people from our world full stop, if you know what I mean. I was talking with a mate about it, questioning whether it's 'kinda' racism. Are these fantasy worlds and their people not interesting enough? Why do we need to relate as a species to the people in the film?

It's like, no matter how good a story may be, no matter how interesting it's people, it'll never be good enough to some people unless it has 'us' in it, and I hate that, especially when these people seem to have control over filmmaking.

I hope Milla Jovovich's character gets impaled by that Diablos within 5 seconds, and the entire "humans rule" garbage is thrown out the window in favour of big superhumans wielding car sized hunks of metal.

It's not even like there aren't already Humans in the games, because there are. It's specifically our (read: american) humans that need to show up. Yeah, sure, Wyverians are also a thing, but they're around 25% of the population. You play as a human. Most of the Hunters are human. The setting is already quite western in many respects, so there's no culture war problem. There are even guns in the game already if they wanted to have a gunfight scene. So it's not even putting a human in a particularly alien world. The only reason seems to be a military support paycheck and/or cheaper props.

 

Also, it occurs to me that I have yet to see a single Felyne. Given how popular and major they are in the series, and how receptive audiences usually are to cute cats, you'd think we'd have seen one already. They're almost as iconic to the series as the Raths are.

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4 hours ago, Loza03 said:

It's not even like there aren't already Humans in the games, because there are. It's specifically our (read: american) humans that need to show up.

Correct, I was thinking of Lord of the Rings as a comparison. That also has humans, but they don't take front and centre for the story. The Hobbits, Dwarves and Elves are all interesting enough in their own right. Kinda feels like a lot of film makers would take a great story like that and make it so that it's humans who carry the ring to Mordor, and not just any humans, "us" humans that happened to stumble across a portal to their magical world.

No, their story was great with the humans having their side plot fighting for Gondor and distracting the army, Sam did great carrying the *@##$ Frodo up the Mountain. Stories don't need "us" to be great.

4 hours ago, Loza03 said:

Also, it occurs to me that I have yet to see a single Felyne

Couldn't care less, don't like cats as a general rule, mines a skeleton or robot depending on my mood.

I've also modded it so that it never speaks, because I despise the puns.:tongue:

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11 minutes ago, DeMonkey said:

Correct, I was thinking of Lord of the Rings as a comparison. That also has humans, but they don't take front and centre for the story. The Hobbits, Dwarves and Elves are all interesting enough in their own right. Kinda feels like a lot of film makers would take a great story like that and make it so that it's humans who carry the ring to Mordor, and not just any humans, "us" humans that happened to stumble across a portal to their magical world.

No, their story was great with the humans having their side plot fighting for Gondor and distracting the army, Sam did great carrying the *@##$ Frodo up the Mountain. Stories don't need "us" to be great.

On the other end of the spectrum, Warframe itself.

It's primary race is humans, but they're quite far removed from 'us'. Not a one of them works under any kind of moral or governmental system that resembles our own. Corpus are the closest, but are dramatically, parody-levels more extreme than us. The Tenno are 'heroic', despite being incredibly merciless to anyone who stands against them, the Grineer are 'human' by virtue of genetics, but behave more like a screwed-up eusocial colony of insects, the Solaris are their own case. Even the Ostrons live in an incredibly unique place culture-wise, especially once you take a look at the lore (DE, when do we get to see Ostron floating markets? I really wanna see the differences between clade life and Cetus life.)

We don't need to pray to truck-kun to Isekai some dude to deliver an expy character.  If you're going to do that, make something interesting from it - see also, a number of Japanese anime which has been through this and has very much gotten to work subverting the tropes. The movie seems to be playing it so straight, you could use it as a coffee table.

 

She'll get dropped in, initially have tons of trouble because her guns don't work (they probably won't explain it in any reasonable way like 'the bullets aren't big enough'. They might even ignore the bowguns to avoid the question), meet the hunter after some of the team brutally die to monsters, rest of the team either die as well or go off to search for a way back home/to become the villains. She'll be the only one willing to be a hunter - she's amazing at it. She becomes an elite hunter overnight/over a montage. Suddenly 'OH NO! The portal back home is open and there's going to be monsters going through it! They'll destroy all of humanity because humankind can't possibly make bigger guns!' Big final fight. Win. Yeeeeey.

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