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The Zanuka Conspiracy


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After much discussion and several minutes of developing crackpot theories, I believe I've figured everything out. The Zanuka Project that Alad V has been babbling on about for the past week, it's not a new stalker, it's not the new warframe, it's the furthest thing from what you thought it was. The Zanuka Project, is actually Alad V's attempt at making a new candy bar, the Zanuka Bar. Think about it, it just sounds catchy when you say it "Zanuka Bar."


Now where's the proof to back up my theory? Mars and Sargus Ruk. Mars is a well-known candy-making company. Sargus Ruk is trying to control that company. Sargus rearranged spells out: Sugars. Ruk, stands for Ruckus. A man who seeks out to cause a sugary ruckus. Ultimately, this means that Sargus Ruk is actually a candy- thieving villain set on creating a monopoly over all sweets.


Another thing to think about: the Grineer only seem to have their eyes set on controlling one thing: The Milky Way. Yet another candy bar. Who stands in their way? Three factions: The Tenno, The Corpus, and The Infestation. You could say they are the Three Musketeers, yet another name of a candy bar.


Now as to why Alad V needs to kidnap Tenno to make his Zenuka bars...?

Well that's simple. Willy Wonka used Oompa Loompas, Alad V uses Tenno.


So what does this mean for the rest of us?

It means that if Sargus Ruk wins, we can kiss all the chocolate bars in the galaxy goodbye. 

If Alad V wins, then we all slave away in a candy-bar factory for the rest of eternity.

Truly the choices that must be made here are more difficult to make than they originally seemed.



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