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The darker side of the community Excalibur Prime related.


calranthe

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With the edited post. I apologize for my previous joke. But, that's the internet man. You are putting yourself out there and that brings attention to you, good and bad. You are out in the open and everyone else can hide behind anonymity. The larger youtubers are generally quite open about using therapists and or having close friends to lean on. The negative S#&$ people spew can grind away anyone no matter how positive their core audience might be. And you are simply far more susceptible with your problems.

This is a net cultural problem, not 'X' game community problem.

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Hey OP im sorry that some dipS#&$s online made you feel bad. You sound like you've had a rough time and I hope that you can continue to find meaning. All of the things you've mentioned suck.

To the folks who are being nice, *high five*

The rest of you. How in the #*!% can you consider yourselves a part of a good community?Compassion costs you nothing. Empathy and respect are powerful things to value. Maybe this person just wanted a little support? #*!% you. Even if this is bullS#&$, there are other people reading this who's experiences are similar.

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14 hours ago, Amoral_Support said:

#*!% you

Firstly that just undercuts your message of compassion, respect and empathy.

Secondly, why not show a little empathy and understanding to the people who aren't being "nice". Were they aware at the time of the OP's problems? Did they have any information to go on whatsoever? What exactly gives you the authority to decide what is and isn't nice?

Or do you only consider the cringey gushing about how sucky it is to be OP that you posted to be "nice"? Because frankly, I'm not really seeing any mean comments remotely deserving of a "#*!% you".

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2 hours ago, DeMonkey said:

Firstly that just undercuts your message of compassion, respect and empathy.

Secondly, why not show a little empathy and understanding to the people who aren't being "nice". Were they aware at the time of the OP's problems? Did they have any information to go on whatsoever? What exactly gives you the authority to decide what is and isn't nice?

Or do you only consider the cringey gushing about how sucky it is to be OP that you posted to be "nice"? Because frankly, I'm not really seeing any mean comments remotely deserving of a "#*!% you".

Hah, first off. You're acting defensive over a general call out, I didnt even name names. Which is telling.

Secondly, no I will not apologize for calling out anyones rude and dismissive cynicism. If you feel like ive somehow directly offended you with my bad no-no words, then you have my apologies.You could have, hower, not engaged with OP. If you didnt believe they were being genuine why comment at all? This community likes to talk a big game about how welcoming and non-toxic it is. Which continues to be self agrandizing bullS#&$. 

 

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Just now, DeMonkey said:

I'm making an observation.

Don't like it? Don't care. No need to get defensive about it.

Great non-response there bud. Im very pointedly not being defensive. If anything im being a little too aggressive. If you didnt care, you wouldnt have responded with your deeply necessary "observations". Nor would you be attempting to save face. 

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2 hours ago, Amoral_Support said:

Secondly, no I will not apologize for calling out anyones rude and dismissive cynicism.

 

4 hours ago, Corvid said:

Friendly reminder that everything below the video in OP's post was edited in after the fact. Prior to that, the thread opener genuinely looked like yet another "look at my video" clickbait post.

 

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Now that i watched the videos, you seem like a genuine person.

But from the small talk in one of them i can tell your current sadness is not actually caused by those people you're talking about but because you were already depressed at the time they appeared.

I have social anxiety (AvPD), so you don't need to tell me about random A******s, they are everywhere and they are the reason why i live the way i do. (personally for ten years now)

Btw. "The Long Dark" is a great game, used to play it some years ago when it was still in early development, the game changed so much since then.

It used to be a sandbox without much of a storyline, though i preferred it that way.

It reminds me of my first (and last)crappy job as a security guard in a night shift during the Winter. :D

Even though i like the snowy atmosphere.

I used to play it for a few years around that time.

 

Just wondering, do you like to be reminded of the past?

Or would getting rid of the bad memories improve your life more than it would hurt?

I tried to forget as much about my childhood as i could and if nothing else, it made me less nervous.

I had no good memories about it at all though, so it might be different for you.

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Don't have time to watch videos but read the post.

Sounds like people are accusing you of buying your account with Excalibur Prime because you were struggling to play well. This is why I never accuse people of buying their account if I see an Excalibur Prime player that seems lower rank, or not high skill, you never, ever know their story. Maybe they let a friend hop on for a second to try, or their spouse, maybe they are disabled and still play far better than someone else would with a disability, maybe they just never played much in the first place, but they realized they have a founder account and wanted to try out that Warframe game again after years. Who knows. It's not my business. 

I respect anyone who can play video games with a disability.

I watched my little brother for years play multiplayer video games with us while legally blind. He could sort of see decently out of the corners of his eye, so he would sit up close to a big screen TV and mostly keep his character to the left, this was back in the days of split screen gaming. It was tough for him. Very challenging.

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On 2020-11-22 at 6:12 AM, DeMonkey said:

Firstly that just undercuts your message of compassion, respect and empathy.

Secondly, why not show a little empathy and understanding to the people who aren't being "nice". Were they aware at the time of the OP's problems? Did they have any information to go on whatsoever? What exactly gives you the authority to decide what is and isn't nice?

Or do you only consider the cringey gushing about how sucky it is to be OP that you posted to be "nice"? Because frankly, I'm not really seeing any mean comments remotely deserving of a "#*!% you".

compassion, respect, and empathy doesn't mean having no teeth with which to bite. moreover, it's a matter of justice but also disbelief that someone would act or say the things they do without further information.

concordantly, having those traits or even simply a sufficiently developed theory of mind provides the basis by which one can safely assume one knows nothing about each person they interact with, and as such, each person is only what they are as they act.

having said that, it's absolutely not the safe option to assume certain behaviours as expected or normal and to compare observed behaviours with statistical norms and expect the data to fit the curve (this leads to erasure). Ergo, it is always not-nice to expect someone to act "normally" and to assume that anyone not acting "normally" is being contrarian. (of course, this doesn't preclude anyone being contrarian.)

the extent of empathy and understanding i might have for someone who isn't being nice is literally that they're dumb (low emotional or crystalline intelligence) or ignorant or otherwise don't know any better. however, this doesn't preclude the possibility of that person simply being cruel and abrasive. most people aren't actively cruel, but exhibited behaviours that may seem cruel are only performed by people who either don't know any better or are indeed cruel.

so the fair question here to ask of each person here, then, is: in the absence of information, is your go-to solution to act in a way consistent with "ignorant or cruel," and then further, "which one are you?"

(and ofc, even someone psychopathic or sociopathic can tell from outside feedback whether something is "cruel" or not even if they could not feel it based on given definitions.)

EDIT:

this is also directed at @Corvid

naturally, the charitable take here then is that DeMonkey and Corvid and others are either ignorant or don't have the mental energy to actively form safer-option behaviours and instead choose (subconsciously) to offload the mental work onto others by expecting full information upfront rather than being prepared to ask without the addition of snarky comments.

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20 minutes ago, Gwyndolin-chan said:

so the fair question here to ask of each person here, then, is: in the absence of information, is your go-to solution to act in a way consistent with "ignorant or cruel," and then further, "which one are you?"

In the absence of information, especially when OP's original post was a near exact match for a clickbait thread, I'm going to assume it's a clickbait thread. Cruelty has nothing to do with it.

22 minutes ago, Gwyndolin-chan said:

naturally, the charitable take here then is that DeMonkey and Corvid and others are either ignorant or don't have the mental energy to actively form safer-option behaviours and instead choose (subconsciously) to offload the mental work onto others by expecting full information upfront rather than being prepared to ask without the addition of snarky comments.

Normally, I give people the benefit of the doubt. That's why the worst I do when confronted with what appears to be clickbait is act a little snarky. There's always the possibility that somebody simply didn't grasp the forum etiquette of not just posting a video on its own with next to no context.

Simple fact is, if you want to express a point somewhere, it is on you to do so in the format that best matches where you are posting. In a forum, that is through text. If you aren't up to typing out your thoughts (or at least procuring a speech-to-text program), then that is not the problem of the forumgoers.

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54 minutes ago, Gwyndolin-chan said:

so the fair question here to ask of each person here, then, is: in the absence of information, is your go-to solution to act in a way consistent with "ignorant or cruel," and then further, "which one are you?"

I think a better question with regards to the initial thread comments is "why do you want to believe people were being cruel?" Ignorance is a certainty, given the only information was a 30 minute video nobody wanted to watch on a message board.

But you've repeatedly used the word cruel. So what exactly was cruel? Snark isn't cruel, it's blunt perhaps and considered witty to a few, but cruel it is not. So why exaggerate? Why are you, and the poster I quoted earlier, so desperate to make people into bad guys?

I personally think that's quite cruel. Going out of one's way to demonise people over something like this, or even going so far as to say "#*!% you" to those who were merely requesting more information the way we always do.

54 minutes ago, Gwyndolin-chan said:

having said that, it's absolutely not the safe option to assume certain behaviours as expected or normal and to compare observed behaviours with statistical norms and expect the data to fit the curve

It is a safe option, objectively, and frankly that's something people need to come to terms with. Outliers exist of course and they should absolutely be understood and tolerated, but they are such a minority that to change entire mindsets for such a small percentage is unrealistic.

Yes, there are those out there who struggle to put things into text form, and I understand and accept that. However, someone not posting a TL;DW doesn't automatically mean they're incapable, statistically it's more likely to be clickbait self promotion, laziness or a Life of Rio video someone wants everyone else to care about. If they're incapable, then people accept that and move on, as seen in the thread. But until that is a known fact, people will act the same way that they would to any other anonymous person on the internet, and treat the data as if it were a part of the norm.

Outliers exist, but I'm not going to let it redefine what I consider normal and cause me to treat everyone as if they'll break at the slightest touch. Outliers are by definition not normal.

If anything, I think this thread is a decent example of people being quite nice. See anyone saying that the OP's attempt at a TL;DW wasn't good enough? Because I don't. I see people coming back to the thread after requesting the information, reading the attempt and making an effort to respond accordingly. I see people apologising for earlier comments. I see Tesseract7777 posting something really rather wholesome. 

As I already mentioned, frankly the only cruel people I see in this thread is yourself and the aforementioned poster. Seeking to demonise and berate people for ignorance of a fact, and acting like there are those trying to enforce normality on the OP and erase who they are. Get a grip.

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1 hour ago, Corvid said:

In the absence of information, especially when OP's original post was a near exact match for a clickbait thread, I'm going to assume it's a clickbait thread. Cruelty has nothing to do with it.

Normally, I give people the benefit of the doubt. That's why the worst I do when confronted with what appears to be clickbait is act a little snarky. There's always the possibility that somebody simply didn't grasp the forum etiquette of not just posting a video on its own with next to no context.

Simple fact is, if you want to express a point somewhere, it is on you to do so in the format that best matches where you are posting. In a forum, that is through text. If you aren't up to typing out your thoughts (or at least procuring a speech-to-text program), then that is not the problem of the forumgoers.

Do you know how expensive proper speech to text programs are? Depending on the individual involved they sometimes have to be custom made. Its not just the software, sometimes there are very specific hardware  considerations that need to be made. Its not like its easy.

Like you could very easily just say "sorry OP i hope things get better". Instead you're in here like @DeMonkeytrying to shift blame and project your pessimistic worldview. Like yall are really trying to make me the bad guy here?

OPs trying to get support from the community and yall are turning this into a debate about how you're right to be cynical edgeboys. 

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1 minute ago, Amoral_Support said:

Do you know how expensive proper text to speech programs are?

Does it matter? Corvid didn't say text to speech, he said speech to text. Apple devices apparently come with some degree of dictation free of charge.

3 minutes ago, Amoral_Support said:

Like yall are really trying to make me the bad guy here?

There's no need for me to try, you did it all by yourself.

3 minutes ago, Amoral_Support said:

yall are turning this into a debate about how you're right to be cynical edgeboys. 

Of course, swaggering into a thread and saying "#*!% you" to the participants and referring to community posts as a whole as "self aggrandising bullS#&$" totally doesn't make you the cynical edgeboy.

Wait, yeah, it totally does.

Don't whinge about people debating something when you're the main contributing factor to the debate. Your comment right here only further exacerbates the "debate" you claim to want us to stop. 

"Doctor doctor, it hurts when I do this", don't do it then.

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28 minutes ago, DeMonkey said:

I think a better question with regards to the initial thread comments is "why do you want to believe people were being cruel?" Ignorance is a certainty, given the only information was a 30 minute video nobody wanted to watch on a message board.

But you've repeatedly used the word cruel. So what exactly was cruel? Snark isn't cruel, it's blunt perhaps and considered witty to a few, but cruel it is not. So why exaggerate? Why are you, and the poster I quoted earlier, so desperate to make people into bad guys?

I personally think that's quite cruel. Going out of one's way to demonise people over something like this, or even going so far as to say "#*!% you" to those who were merely requesting more information the way we always do.

It is a safe option, objectively, and frankly that's something people need to come to terms with. Outliers exist of course and they should absolutely be understood and tolerated, but they are such a minority that to change entire mindsets for such a small percentage is unrealistic.

Yes, there are those out there who struggle to put things into text form, and I understand and accept that. However, someone not posting a TL;DW doesn't automatically mean they're incapable, statistically it's more likely to be clickbait self promotion, laziness or a Life of Rio video someone wants everyone else to care about. If they're incapable, then people accept that and move on, as seen in the thread. But until that is a known fact, people will act the same way that they would to any other anonymous person on the internet, and treat the data as if it were a part of the norm.

Outliers exist, but I'm not going to let it redefine what I consider normal and cause me to treat everyone as if they'll break at the slightest touch. Outliers are by definition not normal.

If anything, I think this thread is a decent example of people being quite nice. See anyone saying that the OP's attempt at a TL;DW wasn't good enough? Because I don't. I see people coming back to the thread after requesting the information, reading the attempt and making an effort to respond accordingly. I see people apologising for earlier comments. I see Tesseract7777 posting something really rather wholesome. 

As I already mentioned, frankly the only cruel people I see in this thread is yourself and the aforementioned poster. Seeking to demonise and berate people for ignorance of a fact, and acting like there are those trying to enforce normality on the OP and erase who they are. Get a grip.

So logically, if your first assumption is that OPs video is clickbait, why even comment at all? Man you really cant handle a couple curse words being thrown your way. How are you such a learned and well traveled internet explorer? Im suprised you even recognized the video as clickbait. 

Seems like you just want attention. Cuz all I see is someone unable to take their licks and admit that they were rude to someone who didnt deserve it. You commented without knowing the full story.  You made the initial cynical assumption. You are currently attempting to gaslight the situation. I assume because you cant handle being wrong either?

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1 minute ago, Amoral_Support said:

Do you know how expensive proper text to speech programs are? Depending on the individual involved they sometimes have to be custom made. Its not just the software, sometimes there are very specific hardware  considerations that need to be made. Its not like its easy.

I was simply mentioning it as a possibility.

1 minute ago, Amoral_Support said:

Like you could very easily just say "sorry OP i hope things get better".

Not really sure what the point would be. I doubt my opinion matters all that much to them, what with me being yet another faceless voice on the internet.

3 minutes ago, Amoral_Support said:

Instead you're in here like @DeMonkeytrying to shift blame and project your pessimistic worldview.

Bold of you to assume that I'm a pessimist. I actually, as previously mentioned, prefer to see the best in people (though the most compelling evidence of this has unfortunately been lost to thread deletions, when I strived to remain civil even when being outright insulted by forumgoers). The fact that I tend to be terse when typing does not indicate that I am "shifting blame". It is instead a consequence of my own disabilities (both physical and mental).

I don't do "subtext", and I don't obfuscate my meaning. If I say something is a "friendly reminder", that is exactly what it is meant as.

8 minutes ago, Amoral_Support said:

Like yall are really trying to make me the bad guy here?

I'm making no one out to be the "bad guy". We simply have differing perspectives.

9 minutes ago, Amoral_Support said:

OPs trying to get support from the community

And they started out by resembling clickbait.

9 minutes ago, Amoral_Support said:

and yall are turning this into a debate about how you're right to be cynical edgeboys.

Who's being cynical? I'm not the one directing redacted expletives at other users, I'm simply calling it as I see it at the time.

Trust me, no one who knows me would ever accuse me of being "edgy".

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Just now, Amoral_Support said:

So logically, if your first assumption is that OPs video is clickbait, why even comment at all?

On the off chance that it is not, and that OP simply didn't grasp the etiquette of the forum. We've been over this.

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4 minutes ago, Amoral_Support said:

So logically, if your first assumption is that OPs video is clickbait, why even comment at all?

The concept of an "example" or "open mind" is lost on you, isn't it?

6 minutes ago, Amoral_Support said:

Seems like you just want attention.

Says the person who felt the need to come back and continue the debate they explicitly attacked? "Debate bad, don't do it" says the person actively encouraging it. It's incredibly interesting to me how much of your post applies to you, not me.

10 minutes ago, Amoral_Support said:

You are currently attempting to gaslight the situation.

Ah, and you are not "attempting to force me to question my thoughts and events"? 

That is in fact exactly what you're doing. I can very easily argue I'm providing you with a taste of your own medicine.

24 minutes ago, Amoral_Support said:

Mistyped phrase, cuz apparently @DeMonky needs me to spoon feed him.

Yes, you mistyped it as something completely different. The distinction is relevant.

Text to speech can be expensive absolutely, and your point would have been valid. The cost of certain voices alone can be quite extortionate.

Speech to text can be freely found nowadays, for example just by searching "dictation" in a windows search bar you get accessibility tools that can help.

Spoiler

I2HuXy6.png

Your behaviour is irrational and excessive in nature. I'm afraid you're not thinking clearly. Take some time, revisit the thread at a later time when you're feeling calmer.

Or don't, if you really want the debate to stop.

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@DeMonkeySo are we really falling into the "I know you are, but what am I?" Grade school retort? I feel like we could do this all day lmao.

Seriously though. In one thread you've questioned my mental stability, implied that I am ignorant and mentally deficient and suggested that I am overly sensitive...Because I swore at you lol. Because I had the temerity to suggest that your behaviour is less than acceptable? Thats very much classic gaslighting, but sure im the unstable one. Because i used curse words.

LMAO I didnt even specifically center you out. I sure did after the fact though. 

Like I'll apologize for being rude, but the mental gymnastics you are doing just to be the winner of this argument are hilarious. 

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1 minute ago, Amoral_Support said:

So are we really falling into the "I know you are, but what am I?" Grade school retort? I feel like we could do this all day lmao.

When someone's argument boils down to, "You're all bad because you're people", then yeah, pretty much.

2 minutes ago, Amoral_Support said:

In one thread you've questioned my mental stability, implied that I am ignorant and mentally deficient and suggested that I am overly sensitive

I sure did do those things, and there's absolutely no chance that you're misconstruing what I said to demonise me, as I have already mentioned.

Due to my ability to rationalise, I recognise that people have off days, that over-reaction does not define a person. So no, I do not believe you are mentally deficient, unstable or exist in a state of permanent over sensitiveness. I do however believe that something about this thread has set off a trigger in you, causing you to behave irrationally at this current moment.

I wouldn't suggest taking a step back and calming down if I thought you were defined by over sensitiveness.

As a side note, no, this is hardly "all because you swore", it's simply a very revealing factor as to how you view this thread and the people in it.

9 minutes ago, Amoral_Support said:

Like I'll apologize for being rude

Interestingly, "I'll apologise for being rude" isn't actually an apology. Cynically, this would suggest that you do not actually intend to apologise, just to make it look like you're "good", else you would have done so. It also throws into suspicion whether a forthcoming apology is actually sincere.

In the interest of full disclosure, I do enjoy this. Your posts really are quite interesting to me, seeing how others see the world, and I would be lying if I said I didn't delight somewhat in how easily I'm able to wind you up without even having to stoop to your level of name calling.

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@DeMonkey I wouldnt say i was triggered by this argument. I am a trauma survivor and I do live life with complex PTSD. I dont especially appreciate you questioning my mental health like you have been. I am upset because of that. 

OPs story resonated with me. I have a number of similar life experiences and disabilities. Im used to having to aggressively advocate for myself. Its not exactly easy to drag out all the things you struggle with. Those things are inextricable from you. Folks with invisible disabilities have to fight erasure on a daily basis. Its exhausting and doesnt exactly engender civility. 

I resent that you seem unwilling to admit that you dismissed OP out of hand. I have a lot of experiences with this community being toxic as hell towards people like us. I feel that you seem more focused on justifying your initial response.

What I have been reading in your responses is "I dont deserve to be attacked. OP should have explained themselves better. You are being unreasonable, rude and irrational" Obviously im paraphrasing, but that is the gist of my reading. The problem I have with that is that rather than going, "why are you so angry?" You doubled down and defaulted to defensive rhetoric. 

My apology was genuine, but if you felt it was disingenuous thats probably fair. Again, I apologize for being rude. However, I won't apologize for being angry. I acknowledge that I could have been nicer, but honestly I have to do that constantly. Its similar to expecting an ethnic minority to stay calm in the face of overt racism. Not that im accusing you of being a racist in any way. 

Look,  im not trying to win this argument. Perhaps im falling into bad habits. I appreciate calls for civility but im really not interested in conceding how I feel. Which, I suspect, neither are you.

 

 

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