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A Corpus personal diary found on Fortuna


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Entry 1:

Just got enlisted.

Our one-wheel Armoured Personnel Carriers are awesome, it can shoot consecutive destructive electrified projectiles of destruction. I wonder why the top dogs don't just send more of these bad boys. The real question is, though, why bother bringing personnel along? Just send more of these bad boys, make them stay there, the road is so damn wide. 

sidenote - Our SPECIALIZED version of this transport always runs into OBVIOUS traps anyone who is blind (no offense) can see. It's slow, it has no troops, and it's carrying important goods, like rare mods and common resources. So why on earth can't it just get off the road and avoid the trap??? The specialized vehicle should have MOAr armour, shields, speed, and manoeuverability. It should be able to take some hits, before losing it's functions. It's weird... 


Entry 2: 

We were told our Captain got assassinated today, apparently it was because them Tenno scum were waving around Pocket Change of credits... Our captain, he/she/it was one kind (of a) person... We may need a new one, hopefully one who isn't such an extremely greedy Corpus. 

sidenote - I heard from my grineer buddy on Cetus that their captain got assassinated too. But their's was smart, the captain only went AFTER sending a few troops to see what was going on. Not only that, they sent so few troops, and so slowly at that, that my grineer buddy could hear them Tenno scum shouting 'HURRY UP AND SPAWN ALREADY, WE NEVER GET THE BONUS BECAUSE YOU SO SLOW, HURRY!!'.  heh, cracks me up every time. 


Entry 4: 

Them Tenno scum were found on the surface. We were on high alert, unfortunately our teleportation beam-me-down device can only send so few at a time, so we had to resort to dropships and the awesome, but few, One-wheel (with the personnel).

Instead of chasing them off our turf, our forces were being destroyed! Them tenno scum weren't even scared! It was as if this was all planned to make us look like a bunch of squareheads! AAAAAHHHH (Grineers scream like this, I think). 

We should send MOAr troops down there. 

We got MONEY! We should: - 

1. Upgrade the beam-me-down device to send MOAr troops and more OFTEN too. 

2. Upgrade the dropship speed & capacity, the faster our troops get there, the chances of us winning goes up! 

3. No need to upgrade the One-wheel, just make more. 

4. Give everyone the new shiny Over-9000 Electric Skyhook that comes with thrusters, boosting around looks like fun. 

I tried writing this up to the captain in a report, but the captain died. Have to wait for the next one before submitting the report. Once this gets through, them Tenno scum would then have to face even MOAr of us! heh. 

Entry 7:

We discovered some ores & gems, unfortunately they were all the way up in the ceiling of the giant caves.... Our excavators can't reach up there and our drones aren't equip to excavate, only drone around. 

I would like a cold drink... Why does this damn cold planet not have Cryotics????!! Damn this planet. DAMN THIS COLD PLANET!! 

sidenote - I think there's a spy within our ranks. I noticed whenever them Tenno scum drop their own excavators on the surface, some of our buddies would very kindly bring Fuel Cells to them whenever their excavators ran out of juice... This is worrying. 

sidenote2 - I heard from my grineer buddy on Cetus that they found one of the drones them Tenno scum tried to run away with. Apparently it got stuck trying to get through a tree, and them Tenno scum had no way of getting it out, forcing them to abandon it. Well, good for my buddy, got some important stuff in there that's more important than kuva(?). 


Entry 7.5: 

I will look past the Fuel Cell incident, because an interesting thought came to mind(?).

Can't we use the fuel cells to power our shields?? Get more over Shields. Put them over our shield-coats. Isn't that a useful application for the fuel cell? We should engineer some way to increase the effectiveness of our shields.

No need for some complex gizmo like making them thiccer or resistant to incoming damage, maybe just additional functionality to improve our odds against them Tenno scum! Such as:- 

1. Converting some of that damage to one which is less effective. 

2. Reducing the effectiveness of the after-effects-status through the shields. 

3. Protecting the more sensitive components, slightly reducing the chances of critical damage and the after-effects. 

This cannot be too complex though, or we would not be able to work in magnetic fields. I will send my idea the moment we get a another new captain. 


Entry 8: 

Was in a non-specialized One-wheel today, saw a strange figure in the sky. It made very strange darting movements, very much like our transports with dead engines on other planets (the ones always getting hijacked).

That strange figure reminded me of a servofish. Always darting around when missing the throw. Thought it was funny, looks like today is going to be a good cold day. 

sidenote - I thought I saw a Tenno scum riding a piece of hovering metal zip past us in the One-wheel. I must be imagining things, if I ride one of those things, I would have trouble manoeuvering it & possibly crashing & injuring myself in the process. Scary. 


Entry 11: 

Oh my Parvos, I'm alive...

Was tasked to clean the Orb on top of the Enrichment Labs main building today when I saw it.... 

A golden mech with a skull where it's head should be... I couldn't clearly see what was going on below as I was hiding behind the Orb, but I definitely saw a mech. It looked like a mini-giant overcoat from where I was? It had devastating firepower, it was fast, and it can jump. It was making quick work with whatever we threw at it, except for the one swinging a stick.

Why? Why do them Tenno scum have such firepower!?? We are CORPUS! We got MONEY! Why don't we have a mech of our own??? (That can be piloted)

We gotta stop trying to improve the Jackal so much, that's already a lost cause!!!

I had a dream once, whenever we faced trouble, we would call down gigantic suits of armor from the sky, no need for beam-me-downs, they can withstand the impact. These metallic titans would be able to follow every instruction automatically and can even be piloted manually. The best part is that other personnel can ride on top of them. 

Damn, just damn... What are we doing with all that money?? Maybe I should've followed my ol' pal Darvo. Heard he's raking in the cash. Even the cash he's earning is worth more than planets combined, Plats was it? Wonder how rich he is now.... 

sidenote - My grineer buddy on Cetus once said them Tenno scum were able to capture them Plain Night Giants after stealing their lures... Didn't believe it, thought of it as a joke at first. Not sure about now... Is it because of their mechs that they could? Well, at least my buddy made a complaint to the Cetus officials about the lures. Now, they don't get paid their bounty if them Tenno scum return too early from hunting. heh, serve 'em right.  

sidenote2 - Put on cleaning duty for my previous reports & suggesting to stop the Jackal improvements... Maybe it's time to go independent?


Entry [illegible]

This will be my last entry. I'm finally doing it. I'm leaving this god-forsaken planet with no cryotics. Even the warmer planets have them. 

Maybe I'll go somewhere nice and warm for a change... 

I'm leaving this diary here. 

To whoever finds this, may you have Plats or whatever Darvo calls them flowing into your pockets like the waterfalls(?) on Earth. 

Poor Cubic Potato, signing out. 


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