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I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Tenno-General


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Hey guys. Sup? How are you doing right now? Doing good?

 

Oh, me? I'm totally worn-out and mellow, but happy.

 

Why? Well, because I just spent the last two hours writing out a version of the Modern-Major General song from the Pirates of Penzance so it would apply to Warframe. I'm pretty proud of it.

 

EDIT: Forgot that people might not know what the Modern-Major General Song is. So... Here you go.

 

 

It goes a little something like this:

 

I am the very model of a modern Tenno-General,
I know the stats of all my Bratons, Mark 1, Prime and the Vandal,
I've expertise in blades and schemes and matters strictly corporal
From Mercury to Derelict my triumphs have been visceral;
I understand the Grineer tongue in manners speech and literal,
My knowledge of the Infested has been quite anatomical,
About the Corpus I'm informed they really haven't got a clue,
They watch me swing my Galatine and cleave their MOA's right in two.

 

I'm very good at algebra and calculating my crit rates;
Watch how my OP Soma's build with every shot eviscerates:
In short, in matters mod and gun and sword and skill quite technical,
I am the very model of a modern Tenno-General.

 

I know our lore, what's there and more, from Captain Vor to present day;
Fomorian wells I did abhor but had to keep those fleets at bay,
Back in the days of Grineer spies I killed about a thousand drones,
And Phobos deserts harbor nothing more than scattered Grineer bones;
I've watched Grineer and Corpus cheer until I stab them with my knife,
And in Dilemma Gradivus I served to further build the strife!
I've been around, an ancient hound, for possibly a thousand years,
And 'fore we're done when I have won I'll bathe in Greedy Milk and tears.

 

I'm powered to the maximum with all the swag I can access,
And I have triumphed over Nix and bested Outer Terminus:
In short, in matters mod and gun and sword and skill quite technical,
I am the very model of a modern Tenno-General.

 

In every stage I've spent an age and all the routes are known to me,
Each crevice in an edifice is ally and accessory,
I've stealth-run every mission, to the opposition's miseries,
I've been through more vents than Bruce Willis in the Die Hard film series;
When I hear the words "It's the Grineer!" I duck and dodge and swerve and veer,
With blessings from the Warframe gods my wounds will not be too severe,
Of all the games that I have played there's nothing else that's come quite near -
I check the clock and see I've spent about three hundred hours here.

 

My Mastery's a sight to see, I broke the bar, I have no peer,
But wait there's nothing left to do so to the forums now I steer;
But still in matters mod and gun and sword and skill quite technical
I am the very model of a modern Tenno-General!

 

 

Again, I'm pretty proud of it. Dream goal is for someone from DE to see it... and then they sing it on the next livestream.

 

Anyway, enough of my burned-out ramblings. I hope you all enjoyed reading the thing as much as I did writing it.

Edited by TheThreadWeaver
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BRAVO!!!!   Mordin would be pleased :)

 

 

 

Hoping for a Modern Grineer General version of this now.

 

 

 

I had to play it through the youtube video and read your lyrics at the same time. Ridiculously awesome!

 

 

 

<3

 

 

Well done, defiantly contemplating assembling a WARFRAME - The Musical now....

HappyFace.jpg

Edited by TheThreadWeaver
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