Jeerome0406 Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 (edited) Hey guys, its Jeerome0406 and I am back from my Calculus finals. I am more in the Post-BDSM/Cuddling stage with it, and I am feeling quite spry with numbers this afternoon. My girlfriend says I should lay off the algebra for a while, while she also made our math safe-word, "Febreze" but I don't know what she was getting at with that one. .-. Alright so you guys seemed to really enjoy that first one, and I even was lucky to meet one of you guys in-game! Its an awesome feeling really, and with me coming off this number high, I am ready for some more time to waste. LET'S DO THIS. AGAIN. You are having your bouts through your neighborhood Corpus ship tileset, when you spot a WILD LEVEL 515 NERD! You take out your D20, and your back-up Magic: The Gathering deck and ready yourself to kill with EXTREME prejudice. Oh, wait, this isn't the waiting line to see Star Wars Episode VII, and that most definitely isn't a Leia-Obsessed twenty-something-or-another year old guy. Whew. Nope, prepare to do a barrel roll right out that reinforced glass: Its a Level 515 Corpus Tech! He is really nasty business; faster, meaner, deadlier than before. (DARVO REFERENCE HURR HURR) And completely theoretical unless you plan to spend your Saturday in the dumps with three nekros, trying to survive a day long survival. I can already taste the imminent: "xXxBoNeDaDdYxXx was downed!" Anyways, break out your calculators and scratch paper! Its time to enter the matrix. As for you buddy, *to the Corpus Tech* I'd pop a squat. We'll be here for a while. To start us on our merry way, we'll check out how much health and shields this baddie has got up his vacuum packed sleeves. True Health = Base Health + (Base Health * 0.015 * (Level Difference)^2 ) True Shields = Base Shields + (Base Shields * 0.0075 * (Level Difference)^2 ) WOO finally we can break out that shield formula right? Let's see that Overshield, Master Chief. ((515-15)2 * 0.0075 * 250) + 250 = 469,000 Proto Shield. *wolf whistles* And for that health: ((515-15)2 * 0.015 * 700) + 700 = 2,625,700 Flesh. Mother of god... That's enough flesh to feed Africa for one day. Take my word for it, I'm a engineer. Poor Corpus Tech, just watching you plug away at those college algebra questions like they're yesterday's crossword puzzle. Your mag fingers her Amprex's trigger impatiently, waiting for her player to act. Yeah, finger that trigger real nice and sl- Mag! There are shield ospreys here! Good gracious. On the other hand, that Tech seemed to enjoy your toying with that tight trigger... Turns out an old creepy guy in a skin tight suit with a special flap just for his schlong is also a perv, who knew? Enough playing around, you aren't going to crossing the streams with your Amprex just yet. Your Mag senses are tingling! And it's not just the underside of my Spongebob Magnet that's stuck to my refrigerator either this time. Its your inner voice ordering you to use your Shield Polarize ability! And just in the nick of time, that Corpus has undone the first latch of his private quarters. Repeatedly hits the 2 button JEEZUS. That was a big spectacle of an explosive nature. Just be glad it wasn't a big testicle of an explosive na- ANYways, how much damage did that do to the poor fellow? Well seeing that your Mag is kitted out with MAXIMUM DAMAGE. We're talkin' Blind Rage and Intensify, the whole 9 yards. Shield Polarize drains 50% of enemies shields, and deals 250% of the amount back as magnetic damage. With that 129% damage increase from mods, how much did those values increase? 0.5 * (1 + 1.29) = 1.145 2.5 * (1 + 1.29) = 5.725 That means that Shield Polarize will recover 114.5% of your shields, while also draining 114.5% of the enemies shield. They will also be hit with 572.5% of that amount back at their health. SO let's see where that gets us: Since you cannot drain more than 100% of the enemies shield, we have to round that down to 1 for the drain. 495000 * (1 + 5.725) = 3,154,025 Magnetic Damage. (O_O) *double takes* wait... doesn't that mean... 2,625,700 - 3,154,025 = More dead than Chivalry, the conduct, not the game. Well F***. You didn't leave a piece of that Tech behind. Literally, I think I see a little smear of something on that far wall down there, but other than that and the strong smell of Canadian bacon, I think its safe to say that he's a goner. What the hell are you going to tell his children? What's that? You're going to tell them that Jeer says that their dad is Theoretical? Well... that's actually appropriate. I approve. Thanks for reading this, I'll probably make some headway on that "How does one murder Corpus?" by tonight. I hope you all enjoyed it, even if it was pretty short. The next Theoretical Enemy will be one from the VOID. OOooo, 3spooky5me. Edited May 6, 2014 by Jeerome0406 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeerome0406 Posted May 7, 2014 Author Share Posted May 7, 2014 This. This made my morning. If only algebra in highschool was this humorous and easy to understand. Thank you so much for reading and enjoying it, xD I am glad it made your morning. I heard over reddit that someone showed this to their algebra class in school, and the teacher (Who apparently plays warframe) broke it apart and showed the class! O_O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PsychedelicSnake Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 WHOA. Eww. Algebra. Am I weird for finding Trigonometry easier? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevangarCronox Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 (edited) Thank you so much for reading and enjoying it, xD I am glad it made your morning. I heard over reddit that someone showed this to their algebra class in school, and the teacher (Who apparently plays warframe) broke it apart and showed the class! O_O This is amazing. Also, i must brace myself for the incoming college calculus and physics course. :c Edit: Forgot to say how much i loved reading this. :P Edited May 7, 2014 by StevangarCronox Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeerome0406 Posted May 7, 2014 Author Share Posted May 7, 2014 This is amazing. Also, i must brace myself for the incoming college calculus and physics course. :c Edit: Forgot to say how much i loved reading this. :P Thanks mate, even though like I said up there, this is an incorrect version, xD The corrected version is on reddit, and I'll probably edit this one sooner or later. I forgot that polarize doesn't harm the target you place it on, so it was a huge and dumb mistake, xD But I had fixed it and added a lot more math in, :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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