Process Log, Mental, Required

[Xalev]

--link established

--recording

 

It has been Highly suggested that I record my mental processes more. Given the other options of court martial, I should be thankful. I should work from the top. 

 

I've been Thawed out for the past third of the terran cycle, and if that third was any indication of what happened before cryo-sleep? I shiver to think just how many years the markings on my palm represent. I do not speak for my comrades, but i find myself often wondering who I used to be. Cyro does a lot to one's mind, supposedly the eternal dream state causes us to "reset" and become a new person developmentally every so often. Whoever i was, they are long gone. 

 

As for me, the living, fighting me? I don't hold delusions of grandeur. We are not white knights, The Lotus speaks of balance, but I am unsure if we even bring that right now. I am a survivor. I've seen, and fought, the relics of the Technocyte war. Most all of us have at this rate, and we are well aware of just how tentative our grip on existence is. So we survive, whether we hold that title like a badge or not, we are survivors. 

 

I have been instructed I am rambling. I wasn't aware that was possible in one's own process log. Very well. 

My name is Xalev, I normally work to extinguish any conflicts that spark up, and have been working with retrieval teams in the void to try and further our knowledge of Old Tech. I operate the Valkyr and Nyx Class warframes, but consider myself a generalist. Many of my comrades don't think it is a good idea for me to  expose myself to change chassis so often, occasionally one of the civilian researchers will try and say something about "Technocyte containment" and a "psychological schism" caused by my preferences. 

 

Perhaps they are right. I only have a scant few months of memory to tell me what is "right" and "normal". A part of me fears that even if I had the luxury of a dozen years to grow and develop, I would be scarred by the viscious world we were thrown into, and still know none the better. 

 

--recording terminated

--link disengaged

--loading to central datamass

--subject available for further questioning

[AveryJ]

i saw this in recent posts and clicked on it just because i didn't know what it was going to be about, boy am i glad i did! excellent job!!

[Xalev]

thank you~ I may post more if the mood strikes me, or if i am prodded enough. 

[Iraetus]

i saw this in recent posts and clicked on it just because i didn't know what it was going to be about, boy am i glad i did! excellent job!!

Same lol.

 

It was very well written.

[Dhrekr]

Marked for retention.

[Maou]

Very well written.

 

I look forward for more.

 

~prodding for more~

[Xalev]

--link established

--recording

 

It seems i have garnered the attention of the council, I hope they find what they are looking for promptly. I fail to see how i could possible serve our cause here, hooked up to a Monitor and pouring my thoughts into  crystalline storage. 

 

Eris is still a mess. We've Cleaned thousands of those "hive vessels", but Alad V's words don't sound desperate enough to be lies. Lotus holds out that we have made a phenomenal impact, but i cant help but remember the recordings of the grineer invasion of terra. Waves upon waves of grineer, flooding the planet in a never ending swarm. Lucky for us, it seems the Grineer cannot quite clone in such numbers now, but it still begs the question of how numerous our adversaries are. One death doesn't matter, nor does ten, or a hundred, why should thousands, or even millions? The Corpus, of course, are not the Grineer, but there is no reason to think that they are no less numerous, given their mechanical armies and, comparatively, advanced medical technologies. 

 

Lamenting in the statistics of war won't get me anywhere, however. 

 

A few weeks ago, i would have said that we could just leave the corpus alone, and focus on the grineer, just wipe them from the system. use a series of staggered attacks on every cloning facility they have and just destroy their infernal womb. Take The Sisters as Prisoners of War. It might have even been possible, but I shudder to think how much the Corpus would have had at hand, Their eternal rival sundered. Or maybe, the "oceans of profit" would have prompted them to spring to the Grineer's aid. It wouldn't have surprised me, ultimately. And a Unified font, given Grineer aggression and Corpus technologies? The few civilian colonies we have hidden away would cease existing. 

 

I think I am beginning to understand why The Lotus says we need balance. 

Which brings my thoughts back to my chassis, The supposedly diametric Nyx, manipulation frame, and Valkyr, assault frame. Like any tenno, I can feel the Rage contained within the Ferrite / Thermoplastic body. It will burn, coursing through one's veins for weeks, even if you suit up in another frame. Maybe the others were scared by it, Maybe they simply embraced it, I don't know, and i believe that only the First Valkyr will ever, truly, know everything she is capable of. The rage burns, Coursing and unwavering, but it lacked focus. It was my second week in the frame when it happened. I was fighting against the Hyena proxies, similar to jackel, similar to zanuka. My rage found direction in that moment, 

 

I know. Rambling. Let me finish. 

 

It wasn't blind anymore, I wouldn't even call it rage. It was wrath. Flailing, wild punches became directed, punishing blows. jumpy, frantic movements became controlled. Looking back, I would call it a kind of predatory grace, Grace, a calm control over one's body, and the situation around one's self. Like a Nyx, striding through legions of confused and frantic Corpus. Grace, Control, Such dainty words for what is ultimately mutual genocide. 

 

I'm done for now, Council members, i bid you good day. 

 

--recording terminated

--link disengaged

--loading to central datamass

--subject available for further questioning

[Xalev]

okay, so that post didnt go over as well, feed back please? ]]