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Corrupt A Wish


Slorch
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I wish to become a magical girl.

 

Granted, but you lose your head, forget to keep a cool head, get in ahead of yourself and head into battle foolishly, losing your uh, head to one of Dr Seuss's pets as a result.

 

I wish to work in a Grineer kitchen for a day.

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Granted, and you eat everything and anything including your favourite pet Infested Charger. In despair, you consume yourself and divide by zero.

 

 

I wish I could find packed lunches made by Lotus left in storage containers when I break them out in the field.

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I wish i had a stunlock immunity mod

Granted, but now your mobility is  drastically decreased so you're slower than a turtle in a 80ft deep tar-pit, and you can only go on infested missions heavily populated with ancient infested. But it's okay: they can't stunlock you now... lol

 

I wish for Lycanthropy( there's never any downside to that). ball's in your court other posters..

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I wish i can't be eaten

 

Granted. You, and no one else can be eaten. You die from hunger, as you run out of food. Your carcass rots and withers, but can never be decompose, as no insects or animals can process your biomass. You are the end of the circle of life, dooming our planet to be devoid of life as soon as the last non-decompasable entity has died.

 

I wish for Lycanthropy.

 

Granted. The CDC takes you in and you suffer for the rest of your life, with experiments conducted until you perish. Since there is no moonlight under the Nevada desert, you never turn - but the scientist torture you with UV light and silver cutlery.

 

__

 

 

I wish I could solve any problem, satisfactory for any party I care for.

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Granted. You, and no one else can be eaten. You die from hunger, as you run out of food. Your carcass rots and withers, but can never be decompose, as no insects or animals can process your biomass. You are the end of the circle of life, dooming our planet to be devoid of life as soon as the last non-decompasable entity has died.

 

 

Granted. The CDC takes you in and you suffer for the rest of your life, with experiments conducted until you perish. Since there is no moonlight under the Nevada desert, you never turn - but the scientist torture you with UV light and silver cutlery.

 

__

 

 

I wish I could solve any problem, satisfactory for any party I care for.

CURSE YOU Ced23Ric! *waves fist at the sky*

 

Granted, however you're prone to make costly bad decisions. The party you support (unbeknownst to you only) planned to use the knowledge you provided to blow up mercury and reverse it's pull from the sun to the Earth's gravitation pull which thereby become displaced causing a a heavy loss of oxygen -most notably in your general vicinity- killing all life on one half of the planet but not before the chunks of mercury crash through the hemisphere and completely decimate the planet.

 

 I wish all war in the universe to be fought like a team-deathmatch in Tribes:Ascend.

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Granted, but someone just stabs you. Because... idk, they like stabbing stuff.

 

I wish to be corruption-proof

Granted. unfortunately everyone you know, love and hold dear are not, and become half-infested slaves who are commanded to act and parasitic breeder(even the males) that attack anyone else on site and assimilate them to produce more infested and they eventually seek you out, gang attack you, knock you out and use your uncorruptible flesh as sustenance and evolve a heavy resistance Tenno gunfire from digesting it.

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