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Loki And The Quest For Gleaming Talon!


TheEdge
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So after a good while of farming for Gleaming Talon (unsuccessfully) I decided to take Loki on an adventure, admire the scenery, teleporting to places I shouldn't have been teleporting... though, it was entertaining nonetheless... (also, servers are down for me).

 

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"Alright, let's do this! Now, Waifu (Lotus) dropped me off saying that she will meet me at the extract... after I find the Gleaming Talon mod said to be located here. Holy hell, that's a big a-(keepin' it G-rated) Osprey. Is that how big they grow? Let's go ask him to see if he knows where the mod is. "
--

 

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"Hey you!"
Osprey- "Can't talk man, too busy moving boxes and phasing them through the floor."
"I'm lost."
Osprey- "Obviously if you've teleported out of the map."
"I need to find a mod."
Osprey- Asking scripted AIs won't help you. I'm not even an AI, I'm just an animation in the background!
"Is that a yes?"
Osprey- "...yes, Loki. That's a yes."

"Yessssssss... what's your name, by the way?
Osprey- "I don't have a name like you biological masses of carbon and dihydrogen monoxide. I am to be distinguished as LQ-84i"
"I guess I'll call you Jeff."
It is then Jeff realized that Loki wasn't the brightest Tenno, despite meaning to be a deceitful one.
--

 

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Jeff- "I'll fly you around if you will stop bothering me. I'm on a tight schedule, I haven't phased enough boxes this run compared to your last run."
"My waifu always told me to never fly with strangers. Especially mutant Ospreys. Could you fly me where I can find a Gleaming Talon mod?"
Jeff- "She- you... what? Is this how you even talk to your fellow Tenno?"
And so, the two flew and became good friends. Soon Jeff took Loki to his companion, LQ-84. We will call him Steve (upon review, it just occured to me that one of the Devs is named Steve. This was coincidental, Steve was the most random name I could think of. Bob is not random of a name, since everybody thinks 'Bob' when they're asked to think up of a random name for a character. Quick, think of a random name for a character!)(Also, not sure if there is a guy at DE named Jeff).
--

 

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"Hey Steve, you know where I can find a Gleaming Talon mod?"

Steve- "Stop! What is your name?"
"It is TheEdge, user of the Warframes."
Steve- "What is your quest?"
"To seek the Gleaming Talon."
Steve- "What... is the airspeed velocity of the Hype Train?"
"What do you mean? Regional chat or in the Forums?"
Steve- "Wha- I don't know that." *flies to the sun due to insufficient calculations. Both in its aerodynamics and artificial intelligence. Also, he was phasing boxes into other boxes, which is illegal in real-world physics. He could get arrested by the physics police. Or something.*

--

 

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Loki continued to wander the sector, soon coming across an Orokin object, possibly holding the Gleaming Talon he longed for. Loki was filled with joy as he ran toward the mysterious Orokin missle, only to find it empty. No Gleaming Talon this run.

--

 

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He then walked, head down to the extraction zone to be picked up by Waifu. Loki came across two platforms, and was unsure which one to activate his beacon on. Loki is not one to make decisions. Will he be extracted to find Gleaming Talon? Or will Loki stay to ponder which platform to activate his beacon on? Find out next time, on Dragonba-... what? Oh, right. Find out next time on Loki's Adventures!

--

 

 

Please note I did this in the frame of 45 minutes for my own amusement. If you guys enjoyed this (leave a comment so I know), I'll take the time to make these a bit more comical and something to chuckle at.

Peace and safety, fellow Tenno.
Until next time,

TheEdge

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Gleaming talon is just a myth :(

Haha no it isn't. I had it before, but I traded it because I wasn't interested in Glaives at the time. I horribly regret the decision... but I get some good laughs teleporting outside and around the map. Keeps me entertained, the enemies keep spawning, and who knows, I might find an easter egg or two :p

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