Murder-Bird Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 (edited) Dearest DE developers, community managers, and fellow tenno, I have a story to share with you: Ever since U14, I have been constantly working at farming up a Bite mod for my Kubrow. I have gone into Earth missions with my Necros (and occasionally a friend or three) with almost machine-like efficiency in extracting every possible kubrow out of a den and not a single corpse wasted without desecration. How ironic that I am an avid volunteer at a local animal shelter (I do adoption counseling and make TV advertisements) yet I scour these adorable creatures with a macabre efficiency. I have spent probably 20+ hours in the past week just in Earth exterminate missions. I have probably slain upwards of four-digit numbers of kubrow, picked up triple digit numbers of kubrow mods, but have failed to see a single Bite while my friends seem to pick them up after just an hour or two farming together. In my desperation and frustration, I decided to turn to my cards to see if they could shed any light on the matter as to why RNG was being so cruel with me while my friends seemed to frolic away with their shiny new mods and beautiful kubrow. I decided to draw a reading for relationship problems (with RNG). Would you like to see the story I drew? *************** 1) What is the problem? The Magician – This card represents fascination and strength of attraction in relationships. This card unquestionably refers to my overwhelming desire to obtain a Bite mod. 2) What is the conflict? Death – With regards to relationships, Death represents the end of a phase, or in a sense a goodbye with the partner in question. In deeper interpretations, it can refer to a means of eliminating excess baggage, such as abandoning stagnant behaviors like my reliance on buying plat, or unyielding forces, such as being trapped on an undeviating path. Given that I recently gave up squandering my plat on impulse purchases, especially with desirable mods, I seem to have created the conflict by saying goodbye to convenience purchases using platinum. Another possibility with regard to the conflict may have to do with my dear love of kubrow and the crushing feeling it gives me to slay them in search of this precious boon. Just because my dear blue Nymeria and her soon-to-be-hatched green sibling need additional power for our adventures doesn’t offer consolation for the hundreds and maybe even thousand kubrow that have been massacred relentlessly and then promptly desecrated for this cause. I even volunteer my spare time searching for new homes for those poor kubrow bred purely for the sake of their appearance and breed. If only you knew the countless number of kubrow shoved into stasis chambers because they were the wrong color, size, or breed to run at their master’s side… what will happen to them once these masters run out of spare stasis chambers??? 3) Did I create the problem? Wheel of Fortune – This card absolutely reinforces the previous conflict. The Wheel of Fortune embodies tragedy in a relationship, or at the very least an inevitable tragedy. This indicates that I had indulged myself far too much through the use of actual real world currency to make in-game purchases of convenience. This was a relationship doomed from the very start since I had turned my back on RNG from the very beginning. 4) Do I deny my role in the problem? The High Priestess – This card affirms that I have been aware of the error of my ways, however painful they may feel right now. The High Priestess embodies understanding, affinity, and affection in the way of relationships. I walked into my mod-hunt well aware of the difficulties of the journey, ever so diligent that I have spent so very many hours in search of a Bite mod. 5) Are there (relevant) previous experiences with RNG? Temperance (Inverted) – Normally Temperance refers to harmony and affection when in an upright orientation, however this card came out inverted, signaling sloth and imbalance. I am all too guilty of turning my back on RNG in laziness, so it makes no surprise that she shuns me for not giving her as much opportunity as she should have deserved in the past. 6) Do we both offend each other? The Emperor (Inverted) – Again, an upright card carries its own interpretation, such is the Emperor a sign of consolidation and security in a relationship. As it has also appeared inverted, an upside-down Emperor indicates immaturity, rebelliousness, and pointless argument. It is indeed true that in the past I have made attempts at collecting materials or mods by my own hands, and there was even an instance where I spent a whole night attempting to farm up a Malicious Raptor since I was too impatient to wait three and a half days for my wolverine claws. I ended up breaking down and buying the mod from an eager opportunist, but I was so ashamed with my purchase that I told my friends I had obtained the mod by farming Xini on Eris all night long. RNG surely must have been quite offended with me after this point. Now she detests me in solo missions and drops nothing but paltry items for me. I spent an entire day breaking feral kubrow nests in search of a nest as soon as we discovered their presence, however I broke down and bought a kubrow package after many hours of wonton destruction and no eggs. The very next day I went out with some friends in search of kubrow mods and eggs seemed to flow from every nest at their hands. 7) Are there other people implicated in our problem? The Hierophant (Inverted) – The inverted Hierophant turns a beacon of confidence and matrimony into dishonesty, deviousness, and gossip. This would mean that somewhere out there the closest friends of RNG may chitter and giggle at my misfortune as I wander endlessly through the jungles of Earth slaying the very creatures that I coddle in my free time. Dare this actually include my dearest Lotus?????? I couldn’t bear the thought!!!! 8) Are there economic problems that affect our relationship? The Chariot – The chariot symbolizes a new relationship; a breath of fresh air, per se. It is indeed a refreshing feeling to feel like I am not continuously channeling my quite precious real-world currency into more platinum. Nevertheless, it feels as if my newfound freedom has come at great cost with RNG turning her back on me. 9) Will this relationship end? Judgment (Inverted) – One would wonder if I would even possibly be able to break off a relationship with RNG. I honestly wondered that myself until I saw the inverted Judgment. In its inverted position, this card symbolizes captivity and self-deception. How could I ever delude myself into believing that I could escape this bitter mistress? As you can all see, the cards have spoken all too well that RNG has shunned me for consistently turning my back on her so often in the past. Might I be able to plead to DE that they speak to her on my behalf and try to sooth the wrath of she who has been scorned??? *************** n.b. – As an erudite and an academic (I’m a PhD candidate of linguistics in real life), of course I don’t take this so much as an absolute truth, but the circumstances are quite amusing when interpreting a real-world form of mysticism into a quasi-lore form within the game. If any of the devs or other players happen to read and enjoy my "tale of woe," maybe one of them might offer a word of encouragement or a form of solidarity. Hell, I'd even take a donation out of pity if someone felt so inclined. I'm shameless in my efforts to get this mod! Edited July 29, 2014 by Murder-Bird Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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