Valkyr Unleashed... (Unfinished Codex Entry/concept Thingy Ma Bobber)

[HalotroopermanX7]

Sorry if this entry was strange... I wrote this in approximately an hour and I don't usually rush to write a story... but here it is!

Enjoy! :-D

 

Today was deployment day. Wake up, gear up, rally the men, debrief and deploy. Simple.

Ryklav was her operating name. She was the “fallen angel” that would train her soldiers for the day they would be called upon when armageddon would arrive.  

“Soldiers! Stand at attention!” today was the last day she would be teaching them “your Warlords have debriefed me that you will be deployed in the Origin’s system Dark Sector to reclaim land lost to the Orokin, be wary, for you’ll be fighting for real this time, no more simulations,” scanning the crowd for objections, which none were made “here is the plan.”

 

“Platoon commander A get your troops ready for live action coming from your left flank!” Ryklav hollered through her helmet as she was ripping through an automaton sentry with her gauntlett blades

“General! Watch out!” she turned her head in the direction of a soldier pointing at a flaming gold projectile, flying straight at her. She tried to evade. Too little too late.

Scorching hot golden flames of Orokin magma spewed from the projectile, covering her entire body.

The pain was indescribable. She tried to scream but nothing came out. She was burning from the inside out.

Death was next, then the Orokin rebirth.

 

 

 

 

 

I know this "entry" was written strangely, 1 hour is a pretty short amount of time to write a story (pondering and such), and then there are spelling errors *UGH*. This is probably just part 1/2 of the codex entry concept for Valkyr... so I was wondering if anybody wanted in... (might change my mind) because I need a person to peer edit my stuff... we all know how crappy a story is when it doesn't flow correctly and has loads of spelling errors...

I hope you enjoyed this story and if you have any suggestions please feel free to leave them below! (Constructive criticism? Sure!) 

Edited September 17, 2014 by HalotroopermanX7

[Rakshal]

:o Awesome read! :D

Edited September 17, 2014 by Rakshal

[HalotroopermanX7]

:o Awesome read! :D

Thank you! I wrote this for you guys! :D

[N7-CommanderShepard]

 

Sorry if this entry was strange... I wrote this in approximately an hour and I don't usually rush to write a story... but here it is!

Enjoy! :-D

 

Today was deployment day. Wake up, gear up, rally the men, debrief and deploy. Simple.

Ryklav was her operating name. She was the “fallen angel” that would train her soldiers for the day they would be called upon when armageddon would arrive.  

“Soldiers! Stand at attention!” today was the last day she would be teaching them “your Warlords have debriefed me that you will be deployed in the Origin’s system Dark Sector to reclaim land lost to the Orokin, be wary, for you’ll be fighting for real this time, no more simulations,” scanning the crowd for objections, which none were made “here is the plan.”

 

“Platoon commander A get your troops ready for live action coming from your left flank!” Ryklav hollered through her helmet as she was ripping through an automaton sentry with her gauntlett blades

“General! Watch out!” she turned her head in the direction of a soldier pointing at a flaming gold projectile, flying straight at her. She tried to evade. Too little too late.

Scorching hot golden flames of Orokin magma spewed from the projectile, covering her entire body.

The pain was indescribable. She tried to scream but nothing came out. She was burning from the inside out.

Death was next, then the Orokin rebirth.

 

 

 

 

 

I know this "entry" was written strangely, 1 hour is a pretty short amount of time to write a story (pondering and such), and then there are spelling errors *UGH*. This is probably just part 1/2 of the codex entry concept for Valkyr... so I was wondering if anybody wanted in... (might change my mind) because I need a person to peer edit my stuff... we all know how crappy a story is when it doesn't flow correctly and has loads of spelling errors...

I hope you enjoyed this story and if you have any suggestions please feel free to leave them below! (Constructive criticism? Sure!) 

 

i don't want to sound like a jerk but do you even know how the valkyr warframe is made, because it makes no sense with your lore 

valkyr suite is made by alad V and the original valkyr warframe could have been any of the female frames :/

[Rakshal]

i don't want to sound like a jerk but do you even know how the valkyr warframe is made, because it makes no sense with your lore 

valkyr suite is made by alad V and the original valkyr warframe could have been any of the female frames :/

Valkyr suit was not make by Alad V, it was experimented on by him which is why there are some parts that look like they have been ripped off (the spine in particular).

[N7-CommanderShepard]

Valkyr suit was not make by Alad V, it was experimented on by him which is why there are some parts that look like they have been ripped off (the spine in particular).

Forged in the labs of the Zanuka project, the original Valkyr was subject to cruel experiments, leaving her scarred, angry and frighteningly adept at killing.

codex of valkyr

Edited September 17, 2014 by N7-CommanderShepard

[HalotroopermanX7]

Hmm... my first response to N-7 Shepherd would've been: "Understood... I get what you're trying to say and the second part should explain everything...
but now that you've mentioned it I'm thinking of doing another codex entry...
Thank you N-7 and Rakshal, I think I know what to write now. :)

 

Edit: "The original Valkyr."

Edited September 18, 2014 by HalotroopermanX7