Blackout751 Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 (edited) You're probably wondering "who the f*** is Gorgon Jesus?" and you'd be right to think that. Allow me to introduce you. This is Gorgon Jesus. I, Oberon, am Gorgon Jesus' High Priest. I am become Death, a Destroyer of Worlds. Gorgon Jesus is the deity present whenever you wield a Gorgon. When you equip it, Gorgon Jesus smiles upon you. Each rank of your Gorgon is a new rank in the church of Gorgon Jesus. "But your Excellence, my High Priest, how does one obtain these ranks?" you'll be asking. "Well now, my dear initiate, allow me to explain," I'll say. "The Origin System is full of those who believe in a different god than we. They may believe in the Lotus, Profit or the Queens. But we are the one true religion as our deity is always among us. Show them this. Ask them where their god is when you press Gorgon Jesus into their face masks. When you pull the trigger, they will hear the word of Gorgon Jesus." Have you accepted the word of Gorgon Jesus, our lord and saviour, into your life, my good Lancer? What if they don't want to accept Gorgon Jesus? Well, I'm afraid they have no choice. Aim Gorgon Jesus at them, pull the trigger and they will join him. If you are a High Priest like I, we are a boon to Tenno cells across the system. Smite them with the power of Gorgon Jesus! You will burn with Supra-tan in Kubrow Hell, unbeliever! Bring Judgement Day upon non-believers of Gorgon Jesus! BUUUURN. Share the blessing of Gorgon Jesus with your allies! Emergency heals, sponsored by Gorgon Jesus. Gorgon Jesus is inside us all. Use him. The manliest thing ever! Explosions! Gorgon Jesus! Oberon-- wait, what? The only thing manlier is Rhino with Gorgon Jesus! Become 10x more attractive to ANYONE by wielding Gorgon Jesus! I don't know why I made this thread. I was bored. Probably came from me using Gorgon for the first time and loving the way it worked, then remembering that video about "Mormon Jesus". Great video, that. Anyway. I hope you turn from the Way of the Rhino or the Church of Booben, to join Gorgon Jesus. Always remember... Edited October 12, 2014 by Blackout751 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!Register a new account
Already have an account? Sign in here.Sign In Now