Jump to content
Dante Unbound: Share Bug Reports and Feedback Here! ×

The Coming Of Gorgon Jesus


Blackout751
 Share

Recommended Posts

You're probably wondering "who the f*** is Gorgon Jesus?" and you'd be right to think that. Allow me to introduce you.

oBp7PQD.jpg

This is Gorgon Jesus. I, Oberon, am Gorgon Jesus' High Priest.

YYyUyIH.jpg

I am become Death, a Destroyer of Worlds.

 

Gorgon Jesus is the deity present whenever you wield a Gorgon. When you equip it, Gorgon Jesus smiles upon you. Each rank of your Gorgon is a new rank in the church of Gorgon Jesus. "But your Excellence, my High Priest, how does one obtain these ranks?" you'll be asking. "Well now, my dear initiate, allow me to explain," I'll say. "The Origin System is full of those who believe in a different god than we. They may believe in the Lotus, Profit or the Queens. But we are the one true religion as our deity is always among us. Show them this. Ask them where their god is when you press Gorgon Jesus into their face masks. When you pull the trigger, they will hear the word of Gorgon Jesus."

nS7R2bQ.jpg

Have you accepted the word of Gorgon Jesus, our lord and saviour, into your life, my good Lancer?

 

What if they don't want to accept Gorgon Jesus? Well, I'm afraid they have no choice. Aim Gorgon Jesus at them, pull the trigger and they will join him. If you are a High Priest like I, we are a boon to Tenno cells across the system. Smite them with the power of Gorgon Jesus!

cfIrWOk.jpg

You will burn with Supra-tan in Kubrow Hell, unbeliever!

 

Bring Judgement Day upon non-believers of Gorgon Jesus!

2u0NUnc.jpg

BUUUURN.

 

Share the blessing of Gorgon Jesus with your allies!

aZ7VBRZ.jpg

Emergency heals, sponsored by Gorgon Jesus.

 

Gorgon Jesus is inside us all. Use him.

5eDPHON.jpg

The manliest thing ever! Explosions! Gorgon Jesus! Oberon-- wait, what? The only thing manlier is Rhino with Gorgon Jesus! Become 10x more attractive to ANYONE by wielding Gorgon Jesus!

 

I don't know why I made this thread. I was bored. Probably came from me using Gorgon for the first time and loving the way it worked, then remembering that video about "Mormon Jesus". Great video, that. Anyway. I hope you turn from the Way of the Rhino or the Church of Booben, to join Gorgon Jesus. Always remember...

in_gorgon_we_trust_by_sayon-d7dgvut.jpg

Edited by Blackout751
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ever wondered why there's no RNGmuhammad or Gorgon muhammad?

 

Or no TV show mocking muhammad (with the sole exception of Southpark).

Exactly because demons don't trash their own, dun dun dun...

And now I'll stop or people will call me a hater for they don't understand :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't have gorgon wraith :(

Considering its around braton prime levels of effectiveness you are really not missing much.

 

Supra is the one true god, blasphemer! 

 

1379382001646_zps4ce304fa.png

All hail the mighty supra no seriously I can't stand using the gorgon but the supra just feels right.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Gorgon Jesus is the one true deity of Warframe, you Supra-loving spawns of Sargas-Satan! Your 'pewpew' guns cannot compare to the majesty of the sound of Gorgon fire and its epic design! Take one look at Corrupted Gunners - they are the real bringers of death, not your pathetic Corpus Techs.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh my god, religious talk and nemadropping Jesus. Lock this thread before it burns down entire forums!

 

 

 

 

Joking ofc... for now.

 

Never fear. We are both civilised churches - we take any quarrels to Conclave matches, so the winner may prove their weapon.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...