Monsterwithin Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 https://forums.warframe.com/index.php?/topic/337597-paste-whatever-you-have-copied/page-666 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snydrex Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 (edited) Really? ehh....err.....If I have to......OK? I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble ****ting.No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my butt-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my buttcheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my butt of hair. Occasionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My butt was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.Little did I know.I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two buttcheaks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic poo- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky ****/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my butt off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my butt cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my butt at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for butt-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my buttcheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your butt having the texture of a Brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.Guys, DON'T SHAVE YOUR BUTT-HAIR! DISCLAIMER: I DID NOT WRITE THIS. Edited November 2, 2014 by Snydrex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mistopportunity Posted November 2, 2014 Author Share Posted November 2, 2014 https://forums.warframe.com/index.php?/topic/337597-paste-whatever-you-have-copied/page-666 lol wtf As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your butt having the texture of a Brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony. Well that's nice.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doom_Bunny Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 Those stupid feather/rocks/debris whatever the hell it is, causes FPS lag on my PC. I used to play with PhysX, and now i can't because of that crap. Try optimize and verify the game from the start sceen it helped clear nearly all the lag from these eccentric deaths. Though I wonder why these deaths were brought back in the first place as I thought they were removed due to the amount of lag they created. ~I am Baron Limbo von Rift~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celle-Reveris Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 Bad players do not a bad frame make. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hortonman Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brynslustafir Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 I really dont think I should. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasumi- Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 http://9gag.com/gag/arenvOK/press-b-to-crouch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xandis Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 (Literally, I had a blank space copied) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khawz Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 http://niceme.me/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utarious Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 My paste has swears. I can't post it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishworshipper Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Radiegle Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 http://i.imgur.com/8IaORBG.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheErebus. Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 "Your Forum ID shows that you are calling from Silent Hill. I regret to inform you that you are beyond even our help." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeltaKai Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Institute-Marksman Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MagPrime Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 (edited) I see no way this could go wrong; Apparently, I have nothing on my clipboard. :c Edited November 3, 2014 by Noamuth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hortonman Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _,,,--~~~~~~~~--,_ . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,-‘ : : : :::: :::: :: : : : : :º ‘-, . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . .,-‘ :: : : :::: :::: :::: :::: : : :o : ‘-, . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . ,-‘ :: ::: :: : : :: :::: :::: :: : : : : :O ‘-, . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . .,-‘ : :: :: :: :: :: : : : : : , : : :º :::: :::: ::’; . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . .,-‘ / / : :: :: :: :: : : :::: :::-, ;; ;; ;; ;; ;; ;; ;\ . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . /,-‘,’ :: : : : : : : : : :: :: :: : ‘-, ;; ;; ;; ;; ;; ;;| . . . . . . .. . . . . . . /,’,-‘ :: :: :: :: :: :: :: : ::_,-~~,_’-, ;; ;; ;; ;; | . . . . . . .. . . . . _/ :,’ :/ :: :: :: : : :: :: _,-‘/ : ,-‘;’-‘’’’’~-, ;; ;; ;;,’ . . . . . . . .. . . ,-‘ / : : : : : : ,-‘’’ : : :,--‘’ :|| /,-‘-‘--‘’’__,’’’ \ ;; ;,-‘ . . . . . . . .. . . \ :/,, : : : _,-‘ --,,_ : : \ :\ ||/ /,-‘-‘x### ::\ \ ;;/ . . . . . . . . . .. . . . \/ /---‘’’’ : \ #\ : :\ : : \ :\ \| | : (O##º : :/ /-‘’ . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . /,’____ : :\ ‘-#\ : \, : :\ :\ \ \ : ‘-,___,-‘,-`-,, . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . ‘ ) : : : :’’’’--,,--,,,,,,¯ \ \ :: ::--,,_’’-,,’’’¯ :’- :’-, . . . . . . . . .. . . . .) : : : : : : ,, : ‘’’’~~~~’ \ :: :: :: :’’’’’¯ :: ,-‘ :,/\ . . . . . . . . .. . . . .\,/ /|\\| | :/ / : : : : : : : ,’-, :: :: :: :: ::,--‘’ :,-‘ \ \ . . . . . . . .. . . . .\\’|\\ \|/ ‘/ / :: :_--,, : , | )’; :: :: :: :,-‘’ : ,-‘ : : :\ \, . . . . . . .. . . ./¯ :| \ |\ : |/\ :: ::----, :\/ :|/ :: :: ,-‘’ : :,-‘ : : : : : : ‘’-,,_ . . . .. . ..| : : :/ ‘’-(, :: :: :: ‘’’’’~,,,,,’’ :: ,-‘’ : :,-‘ : : : : : : : : :,-‘’’\\ . . . .. ,-‘ : : : | : : ‘’) : : :¯’’’’~-,: : ,--‘’’ : :,-‘’ : : : : : : : : : ,-‘ :¯’’’’’-,_ ../ : : : : :’-, :: | :: :: :: _,,-‘’’’¯ : ,--‘’ : : : : : : : : : : : / : : : : : : :’’-,/ : : : : : -, :¯’’’’’’’’’’’¯ : : _,,-~’’ : : : : : : : : : : : : : :| : : : : : : : : :. : : : : : : :¯’’~~~~~~’’’ : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : | : : : : : : : : : Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgax Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 https://digitalextremes.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/requests/new Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evil4458 Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Krung Thep Mahanakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahinthara Ayuthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Piman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nebam Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 http://imgur.com/fA2n1cS Oh wow, that was hours ago. Thought I would've copy+pasted something within those hours. What happened in the screenshot is, I got goomba stomped by a kubrow that fell from a bridge above me on an earth mission, and well, I fell through the map Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenzinNinJa Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8369505536/h2248CB77/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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