[Fanfiction] Balance

[Raphaello]

Ahem! If you dislike reading opinions, please skip this post. Thank you.

 

 but I thought that might have been a bit too farfetched.

Probably is. She's basically going to be frozen solid. That means no brain activity. Not to mention, how many Cyberlancers would have gone insane over the centuries if they somehow were so different that they were magically immune? She's also been frozen successfully before, too. Certainly an interesting twist that I expect will make its way into Kal's work somewhere but I don't see it really having a home in the Warframe ones.

 

(Quoting myself!)

She's also been frozen successfully before, too.

Unless my memory has failed me... which I suspect it finally has, in which case please disregard this point.

Edited April 22, 2015 by Raphaello

[KBTKaiser]

She's been put in a capture buffer before, but I don't think that is exactly Stasis.

[BaIthazar]

Probably is. She's basically going to be frozen solid. That means no brain activity. Not to mention, how many Cyberlancers would have gone insane over the centuries if they somehow were so different that they were magically immune? She's also been frozen successfully before, too. Certainly an interesting twist that I expect will make its way into Kal's work somewhere but I don't see it really having a home in the Warframe ones.

 

Pretty much after I posted that I realized people in stasis were basicly braindead popsicles..

still thought it was a funny idea, by no means am I asking Kal to put it in.. he already gave Draco a beard so there ain't much more I can ask for :P

[Kalenath]

Pretty much after I posted that I realized people in stasis were basicly braindead popsicles..

still thought it was a funny idea, by no means am I asking Kal to put it in.. he already gave Draco a beard so there ain't much more I can ask for :P

 

That WAS virtual mind you. Beards inside a helmet HURT. Speaking from experience here.

 

Sry guys, no update today. LOTS to do in real life. Ill TRY to get something up for tomorrow, but more likely Friday..

 

Oh, and Jesse is NOT going to be happy with Draco when she gets out of the freezer. (and her mind is dormant, which is WHY they put her in stasis since warframe buffers could not hold her.)

Edited April 22, 2015 by Kalenath

[BaIthazar]

That WAS virtual mind you. Beards inside a helmet HURT. Speaking from experience here.

 

Oh, and Jesse is NOT going to be happy with Draco when she gets out of the freezer. (and her mind is dormant, which is WHY they put her in stasis since warframe buffers could not hold her.)

 

 

If you don't mind me asking, why would the virtual representation of Draco differ in terms of appearance to his actual appearance?

[Kalenath]

 

 

If you don't mind me asking, why would the virtual representation of Draco differ in terms of appearance to his actual appearance?

 

Because he is a SERIOUSLY private individual. Because as he said, it leaves him as a mystery. No one KNOWS exactly what he can do except maybe Nikis. The Lotus didn't have a clue what she was facing. Which was the whole point.

 

Hard to prepare for an enemy you know NOTHING about.

Edited April 22, 2015 by Kalenath

[BaIthazar]

Because he is a SERIOUSLY private individual. Because as he said, it leaves him as a mystery. No one KNOWS exactly what he can do except maybe Nikis. The Lotus didn't have a clue what she was facing. Which was the whole point.

 

Hard to prepare for an enemy you know NOTHING about.

 

I hate reading... but I love reading your stuff... you're changing my way of life bro

[4G3NT_0R4NG3]

I will say that Kalenath is among the best, definitely the most popular, and certainly most active fanfiction writer on the Warframe forums. I think one of the #1 things I appreciate about Kal's work are the excellently done female protagonists, which provide a nice contrast to the infinite number of generic short haired white dudes that infest every action story ever. However, for a long time, I've had a few criticisms of Kal's work as a whole, and I feel now would be as good a time as any to voice my feedback.

One of the first things I noticed about Kal's work was the (comparatively) large number of homosexual characters.

Upon considering this, my first thought was: It's excellent that Kal is being inclusive to the alternative crowd.

However, my second thought was: WAIT A MINUTE! Every single homosexual character in Kal's stories is female! There hasn't been a single gay male character in anything Kal has ever posted!

I'm not sure if this is intentional, but I'm giving Kal the benefit of the doubt and saying that it's probably not. However, this will be brought up further down.

Second, I feel that every single Tenno character is absolutely exploding with self-righteous nobility and heroism, to the point it's almost sickening. This could actually be a great example of ludonarative dissonance (disconnect between story and gameplay), since in Kal's stories, the Tenno are all unbelievably honor-bound and dutiful, but in the actual game, we're a bunch of heavily armed thugs and mercenaries, working for hire before turning around and slaughtering our employers. I want to see at least one Tenno character that's based on how Warframe players act in game, and how that character would get along with the existing ones.

I would like to say that this third criticism isn't petty. What I will say is that it's at least valid. In one story, I can't remember its name, a character named Lis is raped. The rapist never appears outside that chapter, it's never brought up again, and has no effect on the plot of the story. She even got pregnant, at which point I thought that maybe a new character was going to be introduced, but then the child just gets put up for adoption and is never mentioned again. Maxwell D90, the rapist, really had no motivation to rape Lis, especially considering that he didn't even touch her, just put her in an automatic breeding machine. You could say that it introduced the character of Sister Harriet, but she really didn't get any characterization or even appear again until several stories later. You could say that it was to make a "rape is bad" statement, but that's like saying "Nazis are bad"; that nail has already been hammered so hard that it's fused to the woodwork. If you're going to include something potentially offensive like rape in a story, it should at the very least be central to the plot.

My fourth and final criticism is rather awkward for me to make, and I really, really hate to make it. At this point, I think its fairly safe to say that motherhood and female reproduction are overarching themes across all of Kalenath's warframe fanfics. While I feel that this is decently well handled, at least for the most part, Kalenath has hinted to being male, and I can't help but feel that it's just a little bit creepy for a male fanfiction writer to have overarching themes of motherhood and female reproduction. I'm further creeped out when this is combined with the aforementioned abundance of lesbian characters but lack of gay males, as well as the addition of a rape that's mostly inconsequential to the plot of a story.

You do not understand how painful that last criticism is for me to make, considering how socially progressive I am. I don't think your gender should have any bearing whatsoever on what it's considered socially acceptable for you to do, but when a male writer has themes of motherhood and female reproduction in his stories, I can't help but feel what I feel. I absolutely hate to point a finger at Kalenath like this. Most of this is just speculation anyways. I really, really hope I don't alienate myself from the Cult of Kalenath with this criticism, or lose reputation with Kal himself.

Still, these are just my personal opinions. Kalenath is still one of, if not the best Warframe fanfiction writer I have ever read the writings of. I look forward to finishing this story.

Edited April 23, 2015 by 4G3NT_0R4NG3

[Riterew]

The first and second points you make I feel are p much spot on - Especially the 2nd point. But the story you mention (Weapons, by the by) did have central plot points based around that specific rape. It changes Vina's relation to Lis - This leads into major plot points for Innocents, Syndication to a minor degree, Fragments of Darkness and no doubt Vina'll still be a major character in future stories. The rape gives us information on how the Corpus function in Kalenath's universe (Workers have a certain autonomy, some Corpus actually care about consent (And there are guidelines for such)), it gives us more insight into Lis' character (Mostly more suffering and pain for her, that she manages to make it through) and even give us some idea of exactly what the Tenno are in Kalenath's universe.

 

Yes, the rape could have been something else, most likely. I'm nowhere near Kalenath's level of writing expertise, but I'd imagine there's some event that could fit the same criteria for causing outrage among Vina/Corpus workers. I agree that it was definately offensive (Not just potentially, since, as you said, Rape is bad). I think that, while not 100% necessary, the event carries plenty of importance in not only Weapons but also in later stories, overall.

 

Also, as a note, if you have to -specifically- tell us how 'Socially progressive' you are, you really just make yourself out to look like an idiot.

[Kalenath]

<snip>

 

Update tomorrow guys. Got to do Real Life stuff again today. Sucks.

 

Replies-

 

1) Yep. That is actually intentional. But you missed something. Two pairings of females, but they both wind up in groups of three. Jasmina/Elenia/Dust (Ok, Dust is incorporeal) and Vina/Mercedes/Horatius. The only true same sex pairing is Two and Amelia and THAT started with Two as a figment of Serene's imagination. In my stories, the Tenno and the Corpus have no problems with what we today would call 'non-mainstream' relationships. And as for what we would consider to be 'normal'? (Not that it is, many people just THINK so) Will/Alicia, Karl/Serene, Aeron/Jac and Nikis/Janet, This was also intentional.

 

2) Tenno being honorable to a fault is also intentional. After all, Karl is clan leader and he DEFINES honor and duty. We will see how Draco handles the swords. It is going to be interesting I think. But there is also a core of ruthless pragmatism in many of my characters, Aeron in particular. He will lie, cheat, steal and kill if it helps his family. Nikis is honorable at times and very dishonorable at others. No one dares to call him on it. Jesse is NOT going to find it easy to fit in since she was trained from an early age to lie. (Her parents were spies after all) But the person who would lie at ANY time if she felt it needed? Iriana.

 

3) The whole point of the story 'Weapons' was how far a person can be broken and come back. Yes, I chose THE SINGLE most offensive thing I could think of. Yes, I wrestled with that. (She didn't get pregnant by the way, it was just torture.) Lis was and is a survivor. Funny thing is, she is NOT as honor bound as many of the others. She can and will lie if it suits her. But she doesn't WANT to generally. She also tells herself that if she does, people will stop trusting her. (Which they won't by the way, but she THINKS so.)

 

4) Yes. Motherhood and female reproduction are both VERY important to my stories. After all, in  post apocalyptic setting, the survival of the human race will rely on people reproducing in any way they can. But frankly? What I write creeps ME out on occasion so I wind up rewriting a lot. This IS for an internet forum after all and they have strict rules about what can go in and what cannot. The point is, both Avalon and the Clergy are single minded about the survival of humanity. Yes, it can be icky at times. But no, they won't clone unless it is a special case. Maybe I am a bit too graphic or open about some things, but I try very hard not to be.

 

In closing, I write these for fun. Because I am not allowed to work until the bureaucrats get their act together. I write these to have something to do when bored out of my mind in real life. I am not writing porn. I am writing a story arc and it is about to get... 'interesting' as some would say.

Edited April 23, 2015 by Kalenath

[Temperance000]

"Interesting."  He just said "interesting."

 

Get your lawn chairs and sunglasses, people.  Here comes the nuke.

[Spikey844]

"Interesting."  He just said "interesting."

 

Get your lawn chairs and sunglasses, people.  Here comes the nuke.

*pulls up chair, grabs popcorn, pops open drink*

Anyone else? I got beer for all.

[renleech]

I finally read the post from 4G3NT and can say i agree with him(or her) in some points.

I want a character away from  stereotypical paladin behavior, could be many things. In particular i imagined a group of "children of the Zariman" who were taken as disciples by a tenno renegade who got deluded and abandoned the code and an ex-orokin spy who got infected and betrayed by her employers. Friends of no one, not orokin, nor tenno and even less the current factions, they are mercenaries loyal only to themselves and their self-regulated ethics. One of them has nerve enough to tell Nikkis on his face he is an idiot( and he is sometimes... call me heretic if you will cultists!!!)

 

 Anyway, Kal, i love your stories and just want you to keep up the amazing work!

[FiveHours]

Agreed. Characters appear different, but they somehow don't. I miss Nemesis.

[WarOverlord]

-snip-

You posted this why?

[Temperance000]

You posted this why?

 

Constructive criticism.  It's quite important for all writers.  And in this case, 4G3NT_0R4NG3 was not trolling.  I think.

[Kalenath]

 

Consulting

 

"This may take some time." Jasmina said quietly as she stood by one wall. She had flatly refused to take Draco and Ona to where her family were hidden. Instead, she had guided the other two Tenno to a small, out of the way asteroid facility. It was still, the inside of said asteroid. Too still. They were not alone. Draco hadn't liked handing Jasmina the capsule holding Jesse's hair but the Caretaker had refused to speak of who she was taking the sample to. She had taken it and vanished. Draco had toyed with the idea of following her, but Ona had quashed that idea. It hadn't been long before Jasmina had returned, empty handed.

 

"It will take as long as it takes." Draco replied evenly. "Are we secure here?"

 

"As long as you stay in this room, yes." Jasmina looked away for a moment and then looked at Ona. "You are awfully quiet."

 

"Lots to think about." Ona said sadly. "Teacher is a good Tenno, Caretaker Jasmina. I... do not want to think he is capable of what I fear he may have done."

 

"We don't know." Jasmina replied. "That old fart keeps a lot of secrets." Draco looked at her and she snorted without humor. "He knows what I say about him. He trained me." Draco made a noise of understanding. "You?"

 

"He was one of my instructors at times." Draco replied. "And I hung around with him quite a bit after I left the Citadel."

 

"But not with those." Jasmina nodded to the blades at Draco's side. "Those were lost."

 

"No." Draco did not elaborate. Jasmina looked at him and he shook his head.

 

"People are going to be curious." Jasmina pressed. "They are well known."

 

"The legends are well known." Draco retorted. "You know how much fact is in legend, no?"

 

"But they spoke." Jasmina protested. Draco just looked at her and she sighed. "Okay, fine. Don't answer me." She looked from Draco to Ona and shook her head. "Why are you so tense around each other?"

 

"He doesn't trust me." Ona knelt, her posture speaking of readiness. Jasmina stared at her and Ona nodded. "It will come out. Now is as good a time as any. The scanner that Jesse was subjected to? Nikis made it. But we -the first of his students- made the first one. The prototype."

 

"With an AI." Jasmina stated, but paused as Ona shook her head. "What?"

 

"Not an AI. Not quite. A consciousness that existed within an artificial environment, but not an artificial intelligence." Ona corrected her quietly. "The original consciousness was from a human mind." Jasmina stiffened and Ona continued before the Caretaker could speak. "And no. We did not ask."

 

"You killed a human to make those things." Jasmina spoke slowly and carefully. Ona nodded. "That is... evil."

 

"We were made by humans." Ona was still calm somehow. "They hurt us. Master Richard, Teacher and Dustin were all hurt by humans. No, we had no reason to trust humans."

 

"So you tore the mind out of a human, put it in a machine and programmed it to act as a medical scanner AI." Jasmina's shock and horror were mirrored by the mass mind she was connected to. Elenia was out of her warframe and it was all the others could do to keep her from being sick. "That is what the Sentients would have done!"

 

"That's just it." Ona said softly. "We didn't program him." At that, both Draco and Jasmina jerked, staring at the diminutive Nyx. "We tore his mind from his body and put it in a machine, but he was already programmed to obey."

 

"To obey who?" Draco asked, his hands on the swords at his waist.

 

"Anyone who gave him orders." Ona replied. "He complied with all of the instructions. We were angry." Her voice was sad now. "Master Richard was gone. Hurt and in cryo. Nikis had left. He came back and we rejoiced, but...He was different. Harder. We thought we knew him. But he was cold. So cold." She actually shivered. "He brought that man to us and asked for our help. Of course we did. He was our Teacher. It was only later, after he left and did not return, that we started asking ourselves what we had done and why." She slumped a bit. "There can be no excuse. We may not have enslaved him but we did imprison him."

 

"There were a bunch of those scanners." Jasmina said slowly. "Mavri's colony has one. Karl's dojo another. Where did the others... come... from...?" She paused as horrid thought came to her from the mass mind. "He didn't?"  She exclaimed.

 

"We think he used the prototype we made to make others." Ona said quietly. "All of them programmed to avoid detection. If discovered, they self destruct. The ultimate hidden slaves." Both Jasmina and Draco stared at her and she shook her head. "The Tenno needed medical care they could trust and the Orokin were not to be trusted." Draco looked at her and she sighed. "Yes, I know. Tenno serve. But there are limits. What the Orokin did to Teacher's mate. To his son. To us..." She slumped a bit. "We could not trust them. Nikis would not trust them for something so vital."

 

"Still..." Jasmina's voice was low and worried now. "What you did was wrong."

 

"I am not saying it wasn't." Ona replied. "All I am saying is that a whole lot of people who were half-trained or less and thrown into the worst conflagration in recorded history had medical support apparently because of what Nikis did." She looked away from the others. "Yes, what we did was wrong." She met Jasmina's gaze with her own. "But if the situation happened the same way again? We would do it again."

 

"You cannot be serious." Jasmina sounded horrified now. "You... You would do the same thing today? To a non-consenting human?"

 

"Tenno Jasmina." Ona said quietly. "The Orokin betrayed us. They made us. They experimented on us and used us to keep Teacher and Dustin in check." She raised a hand and held it palm down. "We will never trust them. Ever. And if it comes down to it? Between Tenno and humans? We will choose Tenno every time." Draco hadn't moved and Ona nodded to him. "I didn't think that would surprise you."

 

"What you did was wrong." Draco said quietly. "But I can see the point of view. Your only experiences with the Orokin were bad." He sighed. "Not all of them were evil."

 

"Enough of them were." Ona's voice could have chipped steel. "And the few times we approached Orokin personnel, they...did not react well to us." Jasmina looked at her and Ona bowed her head. "We learned not to. Occasionally, we tried to help during the war. But they always demanded more than we were willing to give. When we wouldn't give? They tried to take." She shook her head again. "Never again. When the Ancient Enemy rose, we had to help Master Richard and Teacher, so we did. We are Tenno and that is what we are for. Not to help humans out of their stupid messes." Now her voice was matter of fact. Somehow, that was worse. Jasmina looked at Draco who shook his head slowly.

 

"Hate is a virulent poison, Sister Ona." Draco said quietly. "I know that better than many."

 

"I do not hate humans, Brother Draco." Ona corrected him quietly. "I reserve my hate for beings worthy of it. They are not worth my time." Draco sighed and she stared at him. "What?"

 

"I can see Nikis in you." Draco said softly. "He left and didn't go back, did he?" Ona shook her head. "He always was wiser than me." Was that regret in his voice now? Jasmina wasn't sure.

 

"What?" Ona demanded.

 

"Sister Ona, you walk a dangerous path." Draco's words were gentle, but his hands were on the swords. "I know that path well. I walked it myself." He said softly. "You know my history." Ona nodded. "I hated my father for what he demanded I do. I left the Citadel and I never went back until Jesse came." Ona and Jasmina were both staring at him. "I left everything behind to be a bodyguard full time. I focused on my work to the exclusion of all else."

 

"Focus can be good." Jasmina protested softly. Draco acknowledged the point with a tiny nod, but his gaze was on Ona.

 

"It can be." Draco agreed. "Or it can be a very bad thing.  Every Tenno is different.  Every path is different."

 

"I do understand." Ona sounded resigned.  "But my path is set."

 

"Is it?" Draco said with a shrug.  "It doesn't have to be."

 

"I am not like you." The diminutive Nyx crossed her arms and set her posture defiantly.

 

"Oh…  More than you might think." Draco sounded amused.  "No Tenno is truly like any other Tenno, but some of us do have similar experiences in our pasts.  Wow.  This conversation is familiar." He shook his head.  "I had this same discussion with Hayden once.  I was young and full of rage.  It took some time but I did see in the end.  The question is what will it take to make you see?"

 

"Are you trying to save me?" Ona sounded somewhere between incredulity and derision.

 

"Do you want to be?" Draco's voice was odd.  There was a bubble of amusement, but it was eclipsed by something that sounded great deal like regret.  "I am no cleric." Draco said with a sigh.  "Just a brother.  A brother who has made some serious mistakes.  Frankly, honor is all well and good.  Duty is all well and good.  But in the end, the only thing that really matters is what we think of ourselves." He looked at Jasmina and shook his head slowly.  "There are limits to what I can do.  I'm no shaman.  No priest."

 

"Why would you want to help?" Jasmina asked slowly.  Draco shrugged and Jasmina shook her head.  "Everyone is trying to help me.  I don't need help." She snapped.

 

"No?" Draco asked, his gaze focused on the Ember Prime.  "Right now, it's none of my business.  As long as it doesn't endanger Jesse.  If it does, it will become my business." This was a statement of fact.  And a warning.  Both the Ember Prime and the tiny Nyx nodded.  "No one is asking anyone to trust blindly.  Frankly, I found many humans to be selfish and stupid myself.  I dealt with them quite a bit in my line of work." The others nodded slowly again.  "Right now we're not discussing humans.  Right now we're not discussing Orokin history.  Right now we're discussing what happened to Jesse, what Nikis did, and what we do now."

 

The two female Tenno sat back at that.  They glanced at each other and that Draco who sat without moving, his hands still on the swords.

 

"Are you going to draw on us?" Jasmina asked slowly, her hand hanging free.  Ready to draw her Glaive.

 

"No." Draco said firmly.  " I don't want the swords to get any ideas." Both of the female Tenno stared at him and he chuckled without mirth.  "The problem with making a weapon or weapons sentient is that then it or they have minds of their own." Both of the others made noises of confusion and Draco sighed.  "Honor and Duty.  The swords were created to fulfill a purpose.  To serve as guides.  Not always gentle ones."

 

" I don't understand." Jasmina felt even more confused now and Ona's posture was very confused.

 

" I know." Draco sighed again.  " The swords were made…" He paused.  "My mother made the swords."

 

"Nyx made Honor and Duty?" The two other Tenno in the room chorused.  They looked at each other and chuckled, but then turned back to Draco and waited for his reply.

 

"Nyx always did have a firm grasp of ethics." Draco nodded.  "But she also knew not everyone did.  She knew that she was…" The male Tenno trailed off for a moment and looked away.

 

"Mortal." The caretaker said softly.  Draco nodded again.  "She was the designated executioner." Draco did not react.  "Why would she make such weapons?  Making a weapon sentient it is essentially making a slave, no?" Draco did not react, did not respond.  Someone else did.

 

<You know not of what you speak Tenno Jasmina.> The voice was not from a human like throat.  Indeed, it wasn't a voice.  It was mental, images more than words.  But it was totally understandable.  <We were created for a purpose.  We fulfill that purpose.  We are not slaves.  If anything…> The words trailed off as Draco growled.

 

"Enough." The cold hard word silenced the room.  "The swords exist.  They have minds of their own. They have a purpose.  That purpose aligns with ours.  For now that is all that is needed.  Do not push them or me." Was it Jasmina's imagination that the longer sword was partly out of the scabbard?  She did not dare look too closely.

 

"Very well, brother." The Ember Prime was very careful to keep her hand still and in plain sight.  Then she jerked.  Another mind was reaching out for hers.  She raised a slow hand a 'Stop' gesture.  The others nodded, but remained silent.  The mind of the one she had come to consult pressed into hers.  It was not human or Tenno.

 

It is not human DNA.  It contains some human DNA, but that's not all it is.

 

"Not human DNA?" Jasmina queried aloud.  The other two Tenno stared at her and she shook her head.  "It was." She protested.

 

There is some human DNA on the strand that does not match the root.  But it's not just human DNA.  It also has a highly complex algorithm embedded in the genetic structure.

 

Jasmina repeated all of this and Ona tensed a little. But the diminutive Nyx did not speak. Jasmina looked at her and then at Draco.  The bodyguard nodded.

 

"What kind of algorithm?" Draco asked slowly.  Jasmina relayed the question and waited.

 

This is not something we have seen.  Or…  It is not something we have seen for a long time.  As Jasmina translated, the others went still.  This seems like Sentient technology.  The feel is similar.

 

"Feel?" Ona asked slowly. Jasmina relayed again and they waited.

 

We do not remember everything.  Much of what we are is lost or garbled.  So many memories.  So many lives.  So much pain. Jasmina could barely translate the last.  The feelings were awful.  From their postures, the other two Tenno heard the pain in her voice.

 

"I'm sorry." Ona said quickly.  "We did not mean to give offense."

 

You did not.  The past can hurt.  But we have to learn from it or we repeat it.  But we often repeat it anyway.  Jasmina smiled a bit as she translated that.  The other mind felt rueful amusement at that.  This is not something we have encountered.  But it is similar to some Sentient technology that we have encountered.  If it is Sentient technology, then it will be very dangerous.  Caretaker, be wary.  We cannot lose you.

 

" I will."  Jasmina said with a sigh. "Can you interpret the algorithm?"

 

It seems to be coordinates.  It also… Jasmina tilted her head as the voice paused.  Oh…  Dear…

 

"What?" Jasmina asked quickly.

 

It's targeting data.  The other mind said quietly.  Information on who, where, and when.

 

"And?" Jasmina prompted.  She knew this being.  She knew then it took a lot to confound this being.

 

The boy's name is John.  It doesn't say what will be done to him.  But if what you imply is true, it will not be anything good.  He is 24 human years old.  He lives in a small colony on Mercury.  It gives a schedule of activities. Detailed to the minute. And the listed date is today as humans tell time.

 

"Today?" Ona demanded after Jasmina had finished speaking. She started to rise, only to stop as Jasmina motioned for her not to move.  "Is someone going to kill him?"

 

"That kind of information might be needed for an assassination. But why assassinate a human?" Jasmina shook her head.  "No, not an assassination. A snatch?"

 

"Who? Who would do that?" Ona demanded, but Draco was shaking his head.  "What?"

 

"They scanned her." Draco said with a snarl.  "They scanned Jesse.  The mind or minds inside that machine have that information." Jasmina stiffened and Draco nodded.  "They are probably already there."

 

"So what can we do?" Ona demanded.  Jasmina sighed and reached for a pocket.  The others stared the she pulled a large golden key from it.

 

"Give me the coordinates." Jasmina beckoned the others as information came into her mind.  They rose and moved towards her.  She took the tiny Nyx's hand and Ona took Draco's.  Both of the others stiffened as a huge shadow appeared in the doorway.

 

Good luck, Caretaker. Phorid said in a tone that was remarkably quiet for its huge size as all three vanished in a haze of golden energy. Then it went back to its lair and started another game of four dimensional chess.

 

***

 

It was a quiet day.  No emergencies.  Not even any visitors.  He really hated days like this.  They seemed to last forever.  The clinic was quiet, a good place to study and he was.  He hoped to be a doctor someday but he knew that would be a long time.  But there would be lots and lots of study and work.  Until then, he helped out in the medical clinic.

 

He was on the third chapter of his histology textbook when it happened.  He didn't hear anything.  Just…  He was suddenly drowsy.  He felt weak all of a sudden.  He tried to sit up and could not.  He tried to call out and could not.  Fear rose and it quickly gave way to panic as he realized he couldn't move at all.  He heard a hum.  It seemed to come from behind him and it was coming closer.  He struggled in whatever was holding him and through sheer force of will managed to turn his head.  But what met his eyes was nothing he had ever seen before.

 

The oddly shaped oblong thing was hovering in midair.  It looked… dirty.  A beam of energy played out from it and he could not even scream as it engulfed him and pulled him in. Well, he couldn't scream aloud. 

 

And in moments, he couldn't scream at all.

 

Edited April 24, 2015 by Kalenath

[evafan002]

............. ok this is starting to get disturbing......... Just what in the Fragging hell is going on?

[Kalenath]

............. ok this is starting to get disturbing......... Just what in the Fragging hell is going on?

 

Nothing good.

[evafan002]

Nothing good.

and is Nikis behind it?

[Kalenath]

and is Nikis behind it?

 

No comment.

 

And he isn't doing THIS. He is asleep.

Edited April 24, 2015 by Kalenath

[DJSeraph]

I'm reminded of a Green Lantern: The Animated Series episode that aired here recently (repeat, of course). It had a situation that used the same phrase I feel is appropriate to utter in relation to the information this latest post reveals. I shan't utter the phrase of course... However I suppose it would be fine to mention what episode I'm referring to, it was the one with Steam Lantern.

[evafan002]

No comment.

 

And he isn't doing THIS. He is asleep.`

He may not be DOING this but Is he responsible for putting the wheels in motion?

[Raphaello]

Fair warning... No offense is intended by the following post, however it is the kind of topic that has a good chance of giving offense anyway.

 

He may not be DOING this but Is he responsible for putting the wheels in motion?

Not sure how to say this other than directly...

You appear to be fishing for information. That tends to make people uncomfortable...

 

I'm sure if Kalenath was going to give that information outside of the story, he'd have done so in his previous reply.

I can't really say I know how he actually feels about having been asked successive questions that are extremely similar, however...

Having been in the situation in the past, I know that if it were me being asked in such a manner, it would make me unwilling to post further until I was ready to put the next story segment up. This would be because the procrastination spawned by trying to find an answer I wasn't willing to give and at the same time trying to work an "answer" into my next story post, earlier than I had intended the information to be "out"... well...

 

Of course, I have no real knowledge of what Kalenath has been doing since you posted that. For all I know he's been fighting a Cyborg Dinosaur Army trying to invade the planet and that's why he hasn't responded.

[WarOverlord]

 Cyborg Dinosaur Army 

+1