FrostWolf Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 -Inspired by a video of Blood Dragon where even the weapon Descriptions are made of snark- Greetings young Tenno initiate, I am the Lotus' Weapon supplier and Manufacturer for the foundry you'll always be visiting. You may simply call me "Red" for now. Paris So you're a Retro-enthusiast I see? Miss the bygone era when men and woman killed each other face to face? You remind of my roommate that insisted on playing with an archaic key board and mouse when we had full virtual interfaces. The Paris bow uses longer versions of the bolts used by the Bolt weapons, which begs the question of how you are able to achieve the torque capable of launching a bolt through reinforced Alloy plating... even Rhino and his pythons couldn't pull it back far enough to do that. Guess the war left time warped and space bendable since even Nyx with her dainty arms can punch through a Hyena's armor casing. I assume your using it due to it being quieter? I ask why we didn't just didn't spring for actually silencers. Fun Fact, Paris is the Archer that killed the Mighty Achilles in old Earth's Greek myths...with a shot that required the god Apollo to guide it...Cause Paris couldn't hit the broad side of barn. Your weapon is literally named after the worst shot in Greek Mythology. Think about that for a second! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yuikami Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 Hey Red! Lets say, if I happen to run out of arrows... can I hit the enemy with the bow itself?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrostWolf Posted May 20, 2013 Author Share Posted May 20, 2013 Hey Red! Lets say, if I happen to run out of arrows... can I hit the enemy with the bow itself?? Unfortunately no. The Materials used in it's construction were selected to allow for the most bendability. While you might be able to bust up a Corpus buckethead or Grineer Hatchet man due to them not wearing much armor. It's snap in two on anything that has any bulk to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kahruvel Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 (edited) Fun Fact, Paris is the Archer that killed the Mighty Achilles in old Earth's Greek myths...with a shot that required the god Apollo to guide it...Cause Paris couldn't hit the broad side of barn. Your weapon is literally named after the worst shot in Greek Mythology. Think about that for a second! WRONG. Paris is a city. In France. In dirty Grineer Earth! Paris has nothing to do with bows. The French Grineer are afraid of bows. Why? Because the Orokin made them afraid back in the Middle Ages. See? Proving It's a city, here's some Tenno blowing it up. Scienc'd. Now give me a free bow for being so smart, Red. Edited May 20, 2013 by Kahruvel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artemisfortune Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 This is great :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yuikami Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 (edited) WRONG. Paris is a city. In France. In dirty Grineer Earth! Paris has nothing to do with bows. The French Grineer are afraid of bows. Why? Because the Orokin made them afraid back in the Middle Ages. B'aww ;A; Grineer airn't that dirtyyyyy While you might be able to bust up a Corpus buckethead or Grineer Hatchet man due to them not wearing much armor. Good enough! Edited May 20, 2013 by yuikami Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrostWolf Posted May 20, 2013 Author Share Posted May 20, 2013 (edited) WRONG. Paris is a city. In France. In dirty Grineer Earth! Paris has nothing to do with bows. The French Grineer are afraid of bows. Why? Because the Orokin made them afraid back in the Middle Ages. See? Proving It's a city, here's some Tenno blowing it up. Scienc'd. Now give me a free bow for being so smart, Red. Historical Fact, France was annihilated in what Old Earth called WWIII which they started, which was before the Orokin unification. and there's no such thing as French Grineer... have you ever seen a Grineer surrender? I'd give you points for being cute, but begging for free stuff? 2.5 k Alloy plates is added to all you future Foundry purchases. Edited May 20, 2013 by FrostWolf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrostWolf Posted May 20, 2013 Author Share Posted May 20, 2013 Grakata Like everything in the empire, It's Ugly, shoddily put together and it excels only in throwing mass waves of expendable units in a direction and hoping it kills something. But enough about General Ruk's tactical "genius". This is the standard issue Weapon of the Empire after the rights to the Branton got revoked. You did not get this gun for accuracy, ammo preservation or be subtle. You got it to reenact every 1980s combat documentary you've seen your fellow Tenno watching at night. Now if we could only replicate the projectile shielding those old earth warriors had. Apparently there is a drum attachment and a more elite variation of the weapon, but due to someone's cat playing on the database we don't have any current info of this equipment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrueSoldier Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 Hey Red! Lets say, if I happen to run out of arrows... can I hit the enemy with the bow itself?? I love your comics. With Love, A Fab Volt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yuikami Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 and there's no such thing as French Grineer... have you ever seen a Grineer surrender? HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! omfg HAHAHA!!!!! Grakata Like everything in the empire, It's Ugly, shoddily put together and it excels only in throwing mass waves of expendable units in a direction and hoping it kills something. But enough about General Ruk's tactical "genius". This is the standard issue Weapon of the Empire after the rights to the Branton got revoked. You did not get this gun for accuracy, ammo preservation or be subtle. You got it to reenact every 1980s combat documentary you've seen your fellow Tenno watching at night. Now if we could only replicate the projectile shielding those old earth warriors had. Apparently there is a drum attachment and a more elite variation of the weapon, but due to someone's cat playing on the database we don't have any current info of this equipment. The Grineer have cats!?!?!? I love your comics. With Love, A Fab Volt Thanks XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syllabea Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 This is amazing. Can you do my favorite weapon next? The Latron! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrostWolf Posted May 20, 2013 Author Share Posted May 20, 2013 This is amazing. Can you do my favorite weapon next? The Latron! "Latron" What can I say about the Latron? Accurate, Reliable and good stopping power... 20 years ago. While the Latron was the first choice weapon of Sol militias and private forces. Advancements in weapon tech has left it in the wasteland of mediocrity. The Corpus Snipetron and the Lex Hand cannon do what it does better for the sacrifice of a smaller clip but more kick and with the amount of boarding actions you tenno take part in. , It's preference for mid to long engagements shows up when you turn the corner and there is ten lancers leveling grakata's at you... guess who gets the most shots off in close quarters? But that's okay, you didn't get the Latron to pay and spray, you got it to plant the shots exactly where you aimed them! and ammo conservation... seriously have you ever run out of ammo when you use the Latron? No that's right cause your busy picking away at the guy on the other side of the room while everybody else murders the twenty guys in the imminent vicinity... and they'll still kill them all before you do. I've requested a new brand of Ammo it hopes of at least putting it in range of the Lex's league of power, but someone's cat keeps deleting my emails. There is good news, The Latron comes from an age where stuff was built to last... the amount of heavy durable materials make it the perfect choice for a makeshift club. You can spilt a Grinner Commander helmet and skull with that thing. -Note look into purchase of Bayonet attachments along with Silencers at next board meeting- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RIOT Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 OH OH OH DO a melee weapon next... or the gorgon... i can image a rambo movie refrence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syllabea Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 Yay! The Latron made me lol! I agree with RIOTx, the Gorgon seems fun, or a melee weapon like the Fragor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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