Monthly Writing Challenge! [Closed til December] (Platinum Prizes Available!)

[-Myra-]

Thanks for the winner spot! :D I'm glad you liked my little piece of cruelty against Saryn xD And of course, sign me in for the next month!

[Evanescent]

B-but I wanted to write more dead kids!

D:

[FiveHours]

On 10 August 2016 at 4:08 AM, ROSING said:

Figured I'd drop in after an absence from this thread for so long, but I'll try to get a story out for this month. Sorry I haven't been following this thread for a while, but I've always admired your grit for keeping this show up and running and really encouraging the writer's scene here in Fan Zone, Five.

I must be going insane since school is about to start, I'm still managing Origin stories and I threw my hat in the ring for another fan-fic contest for a different video game, but I'll manage somehow. It's a promise, expect a story from me for this one, I swear it!

By the way, how've you been doing, Five?

Any delay of yours is understandable - writing one of the most popular pieces on this forum is quite some responsibility. In any case, seeing you here is anything but a bad thing. Welcome back.

As for me, I've been dragged by a few friends down to Majorca. Although I'm not complaining, I do miss my parents back home and a few other special people. The weather's good, the wine rich and colourful.

[FiveHours]

Reminder that the contest is halfway done for this month. Also bump.

[FiveHours]

Contest ends tomorrow! 

[ROSING]

It's too late at this point, but the "no word limit" you've stated one the first page still holds, right? I can't recall if you set a word limit somewhere in these 10 pages. I'm finishing up my entry right now.

[FiveHours]

Indeed it does still hold, unless I've said otherwise.

[-Myra-]

On the last day, but entry sent!

[FiveHours]

I'm grateful for the entries, and the August contest has now closed. Welcome September, the month of going back to school and the resume of misery. As a result, I'm afraid I must put this contest on hold until further notice, most likely coming back up somewhere mid-December. Apologies for that, but anyway, onto the contest winner.

Making a welcome return back here, I'm glad to say that I found ROSING's story the most agreeable. This story is full of bloody and real action, where the pace is dictated by the singing of swords and bullets and the immersion makes the reader feel very much in the scene. To compliment this, there are several small dips in the action, where more about the relationship between pupil and master are revealed; indeed, the pupil is still very much learning the ropes, much to the frustration of his master. The characters too develop, especially the main protagonist this story is written from. Starting out naive and impulsive, they open their eyes to how much knowledge they have yet to absorb, what lessons they have yet to learn. Overall I think highly of this story, however I would have some criticisms to some unclear events, such as what happened with the Grineer that got suddenly destroyed by fire and ice, or what green salve was being used by Afzan. Perhaps it's just me, but some clarity is needed. Otherwise, well written!

"

The grate clatters onto the floor below. Afzan, my mentor, drops down after it. He looks around, drawing an arrow from his quiver and nocking it onto his Daikyu.

 

“It’s clear, Kito,” he says.

 

I pry my own grate loose from its screws and let it fall. I land lightly on the floor, Braton at the ready.

 

“The mining equipment is nearby,” the Lotus spoke into our radios. “It must be destroyed to prevent the Grineer from developing energy weapons.”

 

“Stick close to me,” Afzan says. “These marines aren’t like the ones on Earth or Mercury. Kela de Thayme keeps only the best patrolling Sedna.”

 

I let out a breath, rolling my eyes behind my helmet. “Grineer are Grineer,” I mutter. “It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

 

“No,” the Oberon Warframe turns to me. “You cannot win against these marines alone. I only brought you along this mission because you asked me to. Now that we’re here, you will do as I say.”

 

“Master,” I say, “I asked only because I know I’m ready. You’ve taught me how to prepare for enemies like this.”

 

“That’s not good enough,” Afzan says, continuing on.

 

I sigh angrily. Modification, movement systems, ability usage. I’m no longer an initiate now. I’ve run through all of the planets in the inner sector, and though this is my first foray into the outer sector, I know the ropes. “Why isn’t it good enough, Master? I know everything in the codices.”

 

“The codices don’t contain everything,” Afzan says.

 

I scoff. “Tell me what they don’t, then.”

 

Afzan stops in his tracks. He approaches me. “Answer me this,” he said. “Are you awake right now, or are you merely dreaming?” He raps on the hull of my Excalibur armor.

 

I blink. “I’m awake, master,” I say.

 

He shakes his head and turns to go.

 

“What? Are you saying I’m dreaming then, master?” I stumble after him.

 

“Until you know the correct answer to that question, and why it is that answer, you are a long way from ready.” He speaks no more, and I can only give another frustrated breath.

 

I follow him through the rooms hewn into the rock of the asteroid. They are like any other Grineer base I’ve seen, the same architecture, the same half-functioning machinery and, as we creep into the next room, the same Grineer. A lancer, clad in his dusty green armor, stands with his back to us.

 

Afzan draws back his Daikyu. I shake my head and dash forward, gaining momentum before sliding across the floor. I draw my Skana, and in a single swipe, slice through the Grineer. I hear his gurgling scream as he falls behind me.

 

“Kito!” Afzan yells angrily.

 

“Is there a problem, master?” I stand over the Grineer. He has his hands covering his side in a futile attempt to stop the blood from pouring out. His suffering is eased with a swift strike to the neck. “Grineer is Grineer.”

 

I hear footsteps behind me, and turn to see another Marine. He is much taller than the first, hulking over me. From his grey white armor and the red launcher in his hands, I recognize him as a bombard.

 

“Or nu!” the Grineer recoils at the sight of his dead comrade on the floor. He raises his Ogris launcher at me, but he is too slow. I cross the distance between us in another slide and slash his armor. But this time, there is no scream. I look to see the Grineer unfelled, bearing a large crack in his armor that drew no blood.

 

He raises his arm and pounds it down, a shockwave blasting me off my feet. No sooner do I hit the ground than he again brings up his Ogris, the rocket ratcheting in the chamber.

 

There is the sound of a high tension string loosing an arrow from a bow, and the Grineer is sent flying over me. He is impaled against the wall, dangling limply as an arrow protrudes from his helmet.

 

“Get up,” Afzan said, drawing another arrow. An alarm begins to sound. “They’re coming for us.”

 

I smirk and draw my weapon. “Sneaking around is boring anyway,” I said.

 

The door ahead bursts open and more Grineer pour out. They are your run-of-the-mill lancers and troopers, a few grey-clad butchers taking up the front. I open fire with my Braton. The butchers are quick to fall. It takes a few more rounds than I expected to pierce the armor of the lancers and the troopers, but they last no more than a few seconds. As my gun clicks empty, three remain.

 

I channel energy into my Warframe armor. Orange energy wraps around me, and I rocket towards them, a blade made of pure Void energy materializing in my hands. With three quick cuts, the room is silent once again.

 

There is another twang of the Daikyu, and I turn to see Afzan firing behind us, more Grineer coming through the path we came.

 

“Move forward!” He yells, and he summons his energy, raising the Grineer around him in white orbs before slamming them down to the ground.

 

I advance to the next room. There is another light Grineer. Instead of the superheated butcher knife in hand, he carries a long red axe, flames flickering from its edge. I take aim with my Braton, but as I do, he vanishes, electric energy pulsing around where he once was. The sound of the air being sliced apart behind me reaches my ears too late.

 

The axe cuts into my shields. To my shock, they are halved. I stagger, but recover quickly and draw my Skana to block the next strike. I push him back and cut him down the center.

 

“Ataf!” A female grineer screams at the other end of the room. Two heavy gunners and a squad of lancers take aim at me. I look to my HUD. Using my Void energy from the last fight has drained my reserves. I scramble to draw my Braton and pray that I can outgun them as the sound of Gorgons spool up and Grakata fire fills the room.

 

Three shadows appear behind the squad. They each cut down a Grineer and vanish, only to reappear beside more victims, gleaming blades flashing. In a matter of seconds, my would-be firing squad is decimated.

 

Another wisp of smoke sounds behind me. “What is a Novice like you doing on the asteroids of Sedna?” a voice speaks. A tall and proud Ash Warframe, styled in shades of azure and cloud white, looks down on me. He sheathes his wristblades.

 

“I can answer to that.” Afzan enters the room behind us. “He is my pupil.”

 

The Ash Warframe tilts his head. “The lioness is quick to throw her cub to the wolves,” he muses, “If she believes it will make him stronger.”

 

“As long as it doesn’t kill him,” Afzan mutters. “Are you alright, Kito?”

 

I watch my HUD as my shield levels return to normal. “Good as new,” I say. But I begin to wonder how long my armor would last against the weapons of these Sedna Grineer.

 

“Thank you for assisting us,” Afzan said, bowing to the Ash Warframe. I follow his lead, and the Ash Warframe returns the bow.

 

“The Lotus figured you might need some help,” he said.

 

“Is that so?” Afzan gave a sigh. “It’s good to know she’s looking out for us. Let’s move; the machines are nearby.”

 

We rush into the next cavern. It is surprisingly empty. Save for our rapid footsteps, there is silence.

 

“Are they afraid of us?” I ask.

 

“I wouldn’t think so. Be on your guard,” Afzan mutters.

 

We step through the next door. There is a doorway beyond leading to a walkway overlooking a larger room. From it, the top of a murky green mining drill can be made out.

 

“There’s our objective,” I mutter, “Let’s get this done with.” I dash forward, drawing my sword.

 

“No, Kito, wait!”

 

As I leap over the machine, gunfire erupts. Marines line a catwalk above, pouring down a rain of lead and rockets. My shields are gone before I even realize what is happening, and a rocket slams into me.

 

When I open my eyes, I’m lying on the floor the room, the mining machine beside me. Gunfire continues to spew overhead. I struggle to move, but my body won’t respond to me. My chest sports a dozen wounds from the serrated bullets of the Grineer, blood seeping around me.

 

Afzan and the Ash Warframe are shielding me, returning fire to the Grineer. Their shields strain against the enemy’s attack. They can’t last much longer. And as I feel my strength fade, neither can I.

 

“I don’t have any energy left,” the Ash yells, “I used it all up in the last encounter.”

 

“I don’t have enough, either,” my master yells. He looks back at me, then to the Ash. “Are you awake, or are you dreaming?”

 

“What do you take me for?” The Ash screams back. “I am a Hunter!”

 

“I was just making sure,” Afzan replied. He crawls over to me and lifts my head. “Kito, listen to me. No matter what happens, keep your eyes closed, and don’t open them until I tell you to.”

 

“What? Why?”

 

A rocket screeches overhead and explodes against the machine, destroying it and scattering loose parts everywhere. “We don’t have time, Kito, I need you to trust me!”

 

“Why is it so important?” I yell back. “We are all going to die!”

 

“Kito!” He pulls my head higher and looks at me. “Dying in a dream is not as bad as waking up to a nightmare. I have not taught you everything. When you are ready, I will teach you everything the codices don’t contain. But right now, you must do as I say.”

 

A look at him a moment longer. “I…don’t understand, master,” I say, “But I will do it.” I close my eyes.

 

Afzan lowers my head, and feel him shift away. “Ready?” he says to the Ash.

 

“Whenever you are,” the other Tenno replies.

 

In the midst of the din of battle, I hear something strange. A child’s voice, yelling in a defiant battle cry. His cry is joined by that of another, a girl. Wind or something else whips around me, and the gunfire begins to thin, until at last, the room is silent, save for the crumbling of rock and the sizzling of what smells like burnt flesh.

 

I crack my eyes open.

 

The spectral form of a boy, floating over Afzan’s slumped over body, hair tousled by the wind, slowly vanishes into the air. As he fades, Afzan raises his head and rises to his feet. I crane my head further to see the Ash also getting up from a kneeling position. He approaches a security panel and starts hacking into it.

 

Green healing salve falls over me, and I know Afzan is standing over me. Does he know that I saw? I feel the salve invigorate my Warframe, sealing the wounds, until I am strong enough to rise to my feet. As Afzan inspects the destroyed mining machine, I look around at our surroundings.

 

There are still Grineer lining the walkways above us, and I quickly draw my weapon. But they pose no threat. They are frozen in place, turned to stone, the only thing showering upon us are chips falling from the statues. Other Grineer lie on the floor, flickering flames eating away at their shattered and smoking armor.

 

But Afzan is neither an Atlas Warframe nor an Ember, and an Ash possesses no such power. Afzan and I meet each other’s gaze, our emotions concealed by our helmets. He nods, and I know that he understands the confusion flooding my mind, the questions swirling my conscience.

 

“I’ve hacked the security,” the Ash Warfame said. “That should keep them off our backs on the way out.” He bullet jumps upwards to the walkway leading out of the room.

 

“Thank you,” Afzan said, following the other Tenno and leaping up to the railing.

 

“Master,” I say, and he turns.

 

“One day,” he said, “You will wake up and see the truth.”

 

From his position on the walkway, his gaze is cast downwards towards me, and suddenly, I am more aware than ever of the gap between us. Still, the questions are many. Who was that boy? Why are we dreaming? What truth is beyond this dream? And what nightmare is worse than death?

 

“I…” I nod my head. “Let’s go.”

 

I’ve learned everything that Afzan has taught me. But perhaps, there are some ropes that I’m not yet ready to learn.

"

[ROSING]

Honored to accept! And appreciate the feedback as well. Towards that last part, it's meant to be a bit confusing, especially for Kito, but I hope it will be a little more clear for veteran players when I say that this is something I came up with after I completed the second dream quest, and the salve is just Afzan reviving Kito. I tried to make the feel of this story as something that one could actually see happening in the game. But I'll incorporate your thoughts into my future writings.

Good luck with your studies, and see you in December!

[Evanescent]

Ah. Had no internet from sunday, so I guess I'll bin my piece.

Gratz to ROSING, even if the clarity was a bit wanting really enjoyed the read. 

[FiveHours]

2 hours ago, Evanescent said:

Ah. Had no internet from sunday, so I guess I'll bin my piece.

Gratz to ROSING, even if the clarity was a bit wanting really enjoyed the read. 

Send it in, I'd like to read it.

[-Myra-]

Sooo..December almost over, news?