Archeyef Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 The alarms are sounding. There's been a breach. They'll be sealing off most of the facility. Trying to funnel the enemy force this way. Away from vital operations. Towards larger forces. Towards us. Get in position. Wait for the enemy. More intel coming through. Single combatant. Minimal weaponry. What? That is suicide. Wh- Does not matter. Wait for the enemy. Combatant identified. Tenno. Never seen one. Which one is it? My brothers have spoken of Tenno. Their faceless masks. How they move. How they shrug off bullets. How they defy gravity. How they fight for hours without tiring. Then vanish. How they kill. Without expression. I do not want to die. Wait for the enemy. ...There is gunfire in the next room. I can hear the screams of my brothers and sisters. If they fail they deserve their deaths. I do not want to fail. Wait for the enemy. There is silence from the next room. Did they kill it? I don't want it to kill me. The doors are opening. Gunshot. Seeker unit 905-337-152 falls before they are fully open. Open fire. The Tenno isn't using its gun. It has a blade. Like the ones my sisters use, but different. It points at my brother. He falls, but he's not dead. He gets back up and attacks me. Why? The horned demon has turned my brother against me. Now it's fighting the others. Killing my brothers and sisters, except this one. I'll do what I must. As I take aim, he stops. Maybe he doesn't want to die either. But the demon continues. Before he can turn his gun on the demon, he's cut down. I'm the only one left. This thing won't kill me! I won't let it! Where'd it go? I can't see it! ...It's behind me. I don't want to die. ------------------------------------- Shorter than a Powerfist's life expectancy! Now that's short! I'm not a writer so it's probably pretty bad, I just kinda made it up on the fly. I was levelling my Oberon Prime at Adaro and this happened. I thought it would be interesting to riff on it from the Grineer perspective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
(XBOX)EternalDrk Mako Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 think its fine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ollnozz Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 I like the tension! More people need to consider the viewpoints of the poor enemies we massacre without a second thought, and you've done it quite well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archeyef Posted June 28, 2017 Author Share Posted June 28, 2017 14 minutes ago, (Xbox One)EternalDrk Mako said: think its fine -gifsnip- 4 minutes ago, Ollnozz said: I like the tension! More people need to consider the viewpoints of the poor enemies we massacre without a second thought, and you've done it quite well! Thank you both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightningsVengance Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 I like it so far, a bit more length would make it better in my opinion, have you considered posting a Warframe story on https://www.fanfiction.net/ ? I think it takes about 12-24 hours for your account to verify but after that and agreeing to the rules you can write a story (I'm actially writing a Warframe RWBY Crossover, WarframexRWBY The Terrors from beyond if you're wondering) but that's not important right now, the thing is I think you've really got something here and you could expand it via said website or keep it on the forums, either would be a good choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archeyef Posted June 28, 2017 Author Share Posted June 28, 2017 1 minute ago, LightningsVengance said: I like it so far, a bit more length would make it better in my opinion, have you considered posting a Warframe story on https://www.fanfiction.net/ ? I think it takes about 12-24 hours for your account to verify but after that and agreeing to the rules you can write a story (I'm actially writing a Warframe RWBY Crossover, WarframexRWBY The Terrors from beyond if you're wondering) but that's not important right now, the thing is I think you've really got something here and you could expand it via said website or keep it on the forums, either would be a good choice. It's intentionally short. It's supposed to be a short sequence of events happening in rapid succession. I don't think making it longer would really add much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightningsVengance Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 2 minutes ago, Archeyef said: It's intentionally short. It's supposed to be a short sequence of events happening in rapid succession. I don't think making it longer would really add much. Alright, but still... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archeyef Posted June 28, 2017 Author Share Posted June 28, 2017 15 minutes ago, LightningsVengance said: Alright, but still... Thank you for the compliment though. If I get inspiration for another story I might make that one longer. Just not this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightningsVengance Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 1 minute ago, Archeyef said: Thank you for the compliment though. If I get inspiration for another story I might make that one longer. Just not this one. Alright, sounds good then. If you do send it to me? I'll read it all basically so long as there's no cursing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archeyef Posted June 28, 2017 Author Share Posted June 28, 2017 Just now, LightningsVengance said: Alright, sounds good then. If you do send it to me? I'll read it all basically so long as there's no cursing. I'll try to remember to. If there's any cursing it'd be one of the few lore-confirmed, forum-friendly ones, none of the English ones. Pretty sure cursing is still against forum rules. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightningsVengance Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 1 minute ago, Archeyef said: I'll try to remember to. If there's any cursing it'd be one of the few lore-confirmed, forum-friendly ones, none of the English ones. Pretty sure cursing is still against forum rules. It is as far as I know, but thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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