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Tenno After Reading


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Ever randomly wonder what must be going through enemies' heads while you chainspam powers for frame exp or fail a wall run for the umpteenth time? Well, I do. Somehow, idly pondering this while half-AFKing for pizza turned into a scene from Burn After Reading, and... Well, you can see the results for yourself.


"So you cornered the Tenno in a supply room."
"Ah, yes sir. For about an hour."
"An hour. Why did nobody try to get them out of there?"
"They did sir."
"Well, they shot at it..."
"And then it killed them."
"Fan-****ing-tastic. So what were they doing in there?"
"Meditating. Sir."
"Yes sir."
"They break into our ship, slaughter half our combat personnel, then go into a supply room and MEDITATE."
"That seems to be the case sir."
"Well **** me if that's not the second most idiotic thing I've heard today."
"Did... Did you want me to ask about the first, sir?"
"Okay. So what should we do about this, ah... About this Tenno?"
"I don't know, kill it. Send in rollers or something."
"Rollers, sir?"
"Yes. The things that roll. That's where their name comes from."
"Yes sir. We'll give that a try sir."
"Jesus Christ. So what do we put on the report to the Sisters?"
"I'm not sure, sir."
"What a cluster****. What did we learn from this, lancer?"
"Ah... Not to keep our supply rooms unlocked, sir."
"Jesus Christ."

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