DelZeta Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 The name's Del. Del Zeta. I've been around for awhile. I'll be around for awhile. Doesn't matter what I am. It's almost midnight, and my dreams are telling me I'm not dreaming, so I'll keep this to the point. I'd like to pass on a story to you. It's about greedy milk. I've been told greedy milk is best freshly squeezed, and served with a bowl of Cap'n Vor or Loki charms. It's part of a cloned breakfast. Grineer Loki charms are the same 10 pieces of cereal, cloned hundreds of times, and boxed. They're not actually owned by Loki, being Grineer and all. He sold the brand to Digital Extremes and General Lotus. Initially, they didn't sell too well in the Grineer sectors. So a group of marketing consultants known as the "Grubstrag 3" were hired. They had a bit of a talk with DE and Lotus and came to the conclusion that Loki charms didn't do as well as Cap'n Vor due to them not being part of a cloned breakfast. They also decided they needed toys. So Lotus and DE made a few extra Grineer manufacturing plants. The cereal from then on was the same 10 genetically stabilized bits of cereal, cloned repeatedly, and each box came with a free cybernetic enhancement, that made the user slightly invisible. Sales skyrocketed. An incident occurred involving a particular individual with the enhancement falling into water. After having his skull caved in. With a bullet. Now a particular one of these discount plants, based on Uranus, by the name of "Darvo's Deals Development", saw no reason to waterproof their product. After all, the chances of being shot, falling into water, and surviving are slim, are they not? This incident, just so happened to be the birth of what you Tenno would call, "The Manic". There was a statement by the CEO of the company, Darvo Bek: "We apologize for creating another galactic menace. We have taken precautions to ensure this will not happen again. We have replaced all the water soluble components, and replaced them with pure lead, to make sure, no manics will be created from puddles." Darvo's Deals Development was then sued by the Grineerverment, for using toxic materials in objects designed to be attached to the brain. (Specifically, the area of the brain associated with rational thought and sanity.) Darvo won. And that is how Loki charms became popular in the Grineer nations. It is now sold at every Grineercery store in existence. And what of Loki? He became the Bill Gates of cereal, due to owning a 99% share in Digital Extremes, General Lotus, and Loki Charms. That is all. Until next time. Sine defectus, 1st Paragon, Delsius Zeta Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJ-7809 Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 I love you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KittyDarkling Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 HEAD CANON ACCEPTED Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miracue Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 I loled Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArcariusAero Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 This story was amazing. If only DE actually sold Loki charms. (Off topic, does anyone know the actual recipe for greedy milk?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KymmaSkyrunner Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 love the story, and welcome :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChloeSakuna Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 Were these manufacturing plants called extractors? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OverlordMcGeek Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 Too much amaziness. I will now like to officially say that I will stalk you till the end of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sanctifer Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 (edited) This story was amazing. If only DE actually sold Loki charms. (Off topic, does anyone know the actual recipe for greedy milk?) Corpus + Rhino Rhino hug Corpus to death boom Greedy Milk Edited April 22, 2015 by Sanctifer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelZeta Posted April 26, 2015 Author Share Posted April 26, 2015 love the story, and welcome :) Thank you. Too much amaziness. I will now like to officially say that I will stalk you till the end of time. Those who stay faithful will be rewarded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enip Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 Hahaha, awesome! This got my seal of approval. Anyways, welcome! I hope you'll enjoy your stay. Corpus + Rhino Rhino hug Corpus to death boom Greedy Milk Don't forget Mr.Ruk for the packaging! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raithon07 Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 You sir/or madam deserve a cookie. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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