The Abysswalkers - Chillest Clan In North America Seeking The Chillest Dudes In North America

[MeetTheJoves]

"...And do not forget: The Darkwraiths reside in a dark void called the Abyss. But the Abyss is no place for ordinary mortals. Although, long ago, the knight Artorias traversed the Abyss.

 

 

 

If you can find him, and learn from him, the Abyss may prove surmountable. But mark my words: the Darkwraiths are the enemies of man, and any living thing that has a soul. They were never meant to roam again..."

 

 

 

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Welcome

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Hello friends, and non-friends. My name is Joves and I'm an alcoholic looking to breathe some life into my shìtty old clan that's been around since before your mom was born. Do you like grinding repetitive content for hours on end? Do you like sarcasm, dank memes, and dark souls references? Do you like men? Then you're in the right place.

 

"But Joves, I just met you... I'm not sure if I'm ready for this kind of commitment!"

 

Well fear not! Here at the Abysswalkers, we don't believe in consent! So here are some ground rules to give you an idea of who we're looking for:

 

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Rules

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1. Most importantly: English. Speak it, speak it well. Would also prefer you live somewhere in North America, for connectivity/activity purposes (exceptions can be made). Be social as well, don't join just to sit silently in clan chat. Play with your clanmates instead of randoms when you can. Join us in Discord so we can make dìck jokes together. Be our friend, not the creepy old man that stands outside our house for exactly three hours every night starting at 2 AM.

 

2. Even more importantly: Be committed. BE COMMITTED. Seriously, be committed. I don't want to log in and see that you've been offline for a year unless you sent me a suicide note a year prior. This game has no substance and is literally just grinding and rng, and you may attempt to escape. That is totally cool. But come back every now and then! Because there is no escape. On that note we are generally looking for people who have a good amount of experience and know what they are doing, but if you've started playing more recently and are especially interested in checking us out then feel free to request an invite. Most of us are veterans and that is our main demographic but we don't mind helping out newcomers every now and then.

 

3. Above all else: Be mature. Don't care how old you are. And I don't mean be polite and wear a suit, I mean no stupid arguments, and have some balls(or firm ovaries). Chances are we're going to make fun of you, chances are we're gonna call you mean names, chances are I'm gonna demote you to "Dìckwraith". RELAX. It's all in good fun, you can do the same thing to the rest of us. If you DO have an actual problem with somebody, take it up with me. Don't start stupid passive-aggressive arguments in clan chat. If I wanted a hostile environment I'd make a DotA 2 clan. (I don’t think those exist)

 

4. Rule #4? Simple. Take it easy, chill out. Relax! You're handsome and radical, you've got nothing to worry about. Enjoy life! We're all friends here. As long as you like or pretend to like the same music as me. Harshing of mellows is strictly prohibited. This is the most important rule.

 

That about covers it. There is a 5th rule, but it is a secret due to being the most important rule of all. You will be kicked without warning if you break it.

 

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About us

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"But Joves, why would I ever want to associate myself with people like you?"

 

You wouldn't, but I'll tell you about us anyway. Starting with myself, I'm a sarcastic prick. Been playing Warframe since Update 5.3. I hate it. I founded this clan years ago when the feature was first introduced, for a long time we were a lively shadow/storm tier clan filled with innocent, happy people, but now I'm old and bitter so everybody left except for the people I literally chained up in the dojo.

 

The regulars are committed to the game (BE COMMITTED), and will be around at least for a few weeks surrounding significant updates. We have lives ('cept for me), we all like to do other things in our free time, we all disappear for days at a time every now and then. You can do the same.

 

As for communication, we have a Discord channel set up, so be sure to poke your head in every now and then. After U18 hits we expect you to be on Discord whenever you plan on playing for a decent period of time, unless you are not in a social mood. Expect and tolerate offensive humor.

 

Three more important details:

 

-Activity is low. People tend to burn out on this game rather quickly so I recruit a week or so before every major update. You are free to come check us out and go on your merry way if you are not satisfied. Few of us have been playing a bit here and there but most regulars should start returning around the U18 launch.

-I am only your boss when I need to be, otherwise you don't have to show me any more respect than you would anyone else. This is a Warframe clan, not a small business.

-We have a designated Meme Pope.

 

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Alliance

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We are also part of a two-clan mini-alliance. BakedForDays, a brilliant man of questionable sexual orientation, and proud leader of "The Butter Biscuits", co-owns it with me. We are the "Pilgrims of Dark". DANK SOULS. (emblem pending, wtb artist)

 

There are a few things to note about our little alliance:

 

-We're both Storm tier

 

-Our clans have two distinct feels:

Mine = mostly jaded veterans

Baked's = literal stoners

 

-May or may not end up further developing this alliance going forward.

 

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Join us

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You've made it this far, might as well go through with this terrible idea. If you want to join, you have a few options:

 

-Post in this thread, tell us a bit about yourself, express your commitment to Warframe.

-PM me on the forums or in-game, and then do the same thing.

-Add me on Steam (http://steamcommunity.com/id/MeetTheJoves/), literally meet the Joves, and do the same thing in a sexier, more intimate environment.

-Take off all your clothes, ingest three umbilical cords harvested from the dead infants of eldritch gods, and perform the ritual described in section 48b of your Book of Abysswalking Fifth Edition. You will give birth to our agent before the end of the next moon cycle and he will guide you from there.

 

I'll get back to you as soon as possible, and throw an invite in your general vicinity. But only if you're cool like us.

 

~Bonus links~

 

Blast 2 da past: https://forums.warframe.com/index.php?/topic/121027-the-abysswalkers-the-chillest-clan-in-north-america-dojo-finished/

 

[Demonlegion]

I think after reading that I better reinforce my estus, I think I'm going to need it for this. I am off and on warframe, at most I go for 2 months then come back, I've been playing since the good ol' beta days, I'm not very high MR (9) most of my progress in beta was reset which is what cause me to quit in the first place. Looking for a group of people to chill and chat with. Give me S#&$ ill throw it right back at you or I may just let it build up and hit you with havels hammer, depends on the mood.

Why do you want me, you ask? Cause why not? Throw me and invite, I got a mic and no life, Lets game 'nd chill

 

Already found a clan, Sorry for bothering you

Edited November 30, 2015 by Demonlegion

[0mega1Spawn]

:) 0mega1Spawn (: An old member. Back from the ashes. kind of like a phoenix... or something.