Basdiow Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 (edited) 1st Version: A story untold That lies with the Demon's cold With the infinite bold And the infinite gold Is the story told 2nd Version: A story untold That lies with the Demon's cold With the eternal bold And the infinite gold Is the story told Edited March 16, 2016 by Basdiow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
(XBOX)Grihaly Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sverdar Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 Not bad, but for me personally too much repetition, like the "the infinite" twice in the middle or the "story (un)told" at the beginning and end :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basdiow Posted March 16, 2016 Author Share Posted March 16, 2016 41 minutes ago, Sverdar said: Not bad, but for me personally too much repetition, like the "the infinite" twice in the middle or the "story (un)told" at the beginning and end :) Thanks, I'll probably change the 'infinite' duo but I will be leaving the untold/told because that is the whole idea of this short little thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basdiow Posted March 16, 2016 Author Share Posted March 16, 2016 I changed the 'infinite bold' to 'eternal bold' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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