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XxDeadlockerxX

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Posts posted by XxDeadlockerxX

    Kevlar5's Story Of What Happens If Your Ship Can't Work

    in Off Topic

    Posted · Edited by XxDeadlockerxX

       Blame Satan because he used magnetic forces, now your ship is floating in space... until Shrek comes to your ship. Shreck will see you have offered him no onions, and shrekt you so hard, you were sucked into the void. Simply put, Shrek will bring you to earth, and you will suffer under his swamp. You'll see all the other tenno who got satan's magnet, mostly excalibro. You'll see the Grinner's heads on sticks. Shrek will keep you there forever unless you find him 100 onions. This will take approximately 69 months, or if you're unfortunate, 69 years.

     

       That means Shrek hates you for keeping a photo of Farquad, and he told karma in secret. Fiona gets angry every time shrek talks with karma, because she thinks Shrek will choos karma over her. Fiona will harvest any grineer on earth. So far, 90,000 grineer on earth got shrekt. The grineer are actually controlled by Farquad, Farquad's clone. Farquad is the true leader, not the twin sisters of ugliness. Also, Tenno get killed if they keep shooting shrek when discovering the "Onion" node. The Onion node is very secred. (Secred means Secret AND Sacred) The objective is to assassinate shrek.

     

       You cannot do it, though. Shrek has much health. And shields. He does 69 damage when he throws an onion. He does 420 damage when he headbutts you with either one of his heads. If you are unlucky, he will eat you, doing exactly 1337 damage if you report the bug. DE can't remove it, though. Because it can't even be found in the code! Also, Shrek may pop out of the keyboard, and strangle the scrub playing. And slap them really hard. Then say, "Git Shrekt, son!" And all the keys pop off. And, the player is raging so much, that they might die of rage. Very Few Survive rage, and that makes shrek angry. He deletes all the pics of their things. What things? MS paintings. Farquad's pictures. Someone getting thrown off a ship for an unknown reason. Replacing them all with Shrek photos. MS paintings will be ShrekMS paintings. Girlfriend paintings (For wotever reason) will be replaced with fiona. Farquad will be replaced with... FARQUAD!!! Someone getting thrown off a mud river by shrek. Who's that person? It changes to YOU! Then, spooky skeletons will eat your games! And, your desktop is replaced with Internet Explorer! Then, the only game left is Warfarm! If you play it, it resumes to you with Shrek.

     

       Shrek throws an onion at you, and you fall down as he releases onion flavored sh*t. And green gases deal gas damage! If you choose to run away, you will always have 69 health no matter what!- and, Shrek says, "THIS IS MY SWAMP!" If you choose to shoot him, he throws a final onion at you. Remember what I said? Onions do 69 damage. So, your head comes clean off, because he obviously headshotted you. And you fall down with your arms moving like spooky skeleton arms. Then, you dissolve into the onions he drop on you. Warfarm gets eaten by a spooky skelelton. Not Skeleton. Skelelton... why? What's the difference? Because, skeleltons are made of onions.

     

       Now, Warfarm is gone and you can only go to internet explorer. What happens if you click? It shows Giygas. But, his mouth moves and he says, "YOU ARE STUPID!" over and over again.Then, after 10 minutes, it shows a quote from Albert Einstein. "Shrek has always been a favorite of mine." Also, another. "Don't quote me boi!" Finally, "You're probably stupid" Albert Einstein, 1969-2001. You may ask yourself, WHY DID HE QUOTE? WEL. HE IS SMART, OK? HIS INTELLECT>THAN YOURS. Who quotes him, anyways? Idiotic Teachers. We have realized...Teachers... THEY ARE WAY MORE STUPID TODAY... Than when in 90's or 80's. When they were still stupid.

     

       BUT A TIN BIT LESS. #BLAMESATANNOW. BECAUSE, A TIN BIT LESS? THAT'S BECAUSE OF SANTAZ. WHAT IS LOOMING? FRUIT OF THE LOOM! THEY ARE SATAN'S WORK. SEE? IF YOU JUST WALKED AWAY... SHREK WOULD HAVE SENT YOU TO YOUR POOR SHIP. TO KEEP FIGHTING FOR SCRAPS. THE END. OR NOT.

     

     

    All credit for this goes to Kevlar5, I thought this would be interesting to put on the forums, so I did- Asking him first, of course. BIG kudos and brownie points for ANYBODY who can tell me the amount of grammar mistakes is in this, and if you liked it (or at least followed the plot of it) leave an upvote! Also, this IN NO WAY is intened to mock people of any kind of Religion- just wanna make sure ya don't git the wrong idea.

    Stalker

    in General Discussion

    Posted · Edited by XxDeadlockerxX

    You guys are gonna hate me when I say this but...

     

           I got my set and a Vauban in two days. First, the Hate. Second, Despair. Third, Dread. Dread is beast. Much critz... and tacos.

     

     

     

     

    EDIT: I built all this stuff in 2 days... have no idea where or when I found the blueprints. Vauban was also the first frame I made :3

    Possible Channelling Mechanic~ Discussion

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    I has ideas!

    SPEED: Grants +25% attack and movement speed as a passive effect when your melee is out. This bonus improves to +100% while channeling. When at full energy capacity, you have the option to increase your melee speed twofold and phase through all sources of damage, this will drain your energy -15 per second and cannot be cancelled early. Energy Efficiency mods do not apply to this.

    -DISCUSS... if you wanna.

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