Call Of The Faithful [Ooc]

[SnaleKing]

I have returned. I'm quite exhausted but i'm in the mood to do some posting before everything goes to hell. Lets get started shall we

 

this is a day off. Nothing is going to hell. If anyone starts anything, Limbs, head, airlock.

[SirNocturne]

For the record, I do not appreciate when people decides to take over my characters. Do not do that again.

Edited and fixed. That's not what I meant to do and I apoligize.

[SnaleKing]

 

Tyranis puts his hand on Cyrill's shoulder. "I am an Oberon you know, my healing may not be at a Trinty's level but i can try. If you'll give me some room" Tyranis's voice was still calm and cool, this sudden complication did not effect him. With a reassuring pat he motioned Cyrill to step aside

 

May want to edit that, since Cardina's there and, typically, taking control.

[MasterDread]

 

 

 

 

May want to edit that, since Cardina's there and, typically, taking control.

 

on it

[Astralin]

Oh, and Issun, since you're new here, here's how we format our posts around here.

 

1. We write in the third person.

 

By default, a post is In Character on an IC thread, intuitively. No formatting is needed to mark narration. Speech is in quotations, thoughts are in italics. Asterisks are essentially never used, except to sneak a word past the forum's filter.

 

Correct: This is it, motherf*cker, Cardina punched Sargas Ruk's head clean off his shoulders, and soon hoisted the dripping, drooling visage aloft, bellowing in triumph. "YES!" she shouted, shaking her trophy violently, a rain of hot, wet gore spattering the cool steel at her feet, "He is FINISHED! His Orokin cell is mine for the taking!"

 

Not: *I searched the body for my prize, peeling an alloy plate from the flesh underneath as a sucking, gurgling noise escaped from the corpse's collapsing lungs.* No, *I thought, starting to panic, I found a capsule, screaming in rage as I beheld its contents.* DETONITE AMPUUUUUULE

 

2. Out of Character ((OOC)) content are in double parentheses.

 

Correct; ((Haha man she really wants a Lex Prime))

 

Not: Separating with dashes, quotes, whatever.

 

3. Don't post a series of bland events.

 

This is one I see fairly often. Write like what you'd see in a novel, not a grocery list. It gives posts and characters so much more flavor and life.

 

Correct; Cardina stormed past Temperance towards extraction, her Machete Wraith casually dispatching any Trooper that dared approach. Gods, I hate speedruns. As one Lancer was swiftly separated from its arms, a Ballista drew a bead on the back of Cardina's head, taking a deep breath through its cancer-ridden lungs to stabilize the shot; her aim would make the difference between death or glory.

 

Not; -The ballista shoots, the Vulkar makes a loud sound.

 

Cardina: Oh no, you don't,

 

Cardina moves to the side, the bullet hits the wall; it's a miss and oh god this is painful to write, you get the idea.

 

4. Normal English writing stuff is still important.

 

Break up thoughts into Paragraphs, sentences, and with punctuation, it makes the difference between an interesting post and an unreadable one. Use variety in your vocabulary and sentence structure, don't always start sentences with the name of your character. Use the right To's, There's, and skim over what you write before you hit post.

 

The various "correct" examples here all do that, and they're so much more readable than, say, this;

 

Cardina runs to the Ballista "Oh I'm mad now your gonna die" the ballista tries to run but Cardina is to fast and she chops the ballista in half. Cardina says "Haha" stabing the body over and over and oh god this is painful to write you get the idea.

 

5. Show, don't tell.

 

You've probably heard this before, and don't totally know what it means. Basically, I don't need to write "Cardina is angry now, she's going to kill the ballista, who is scared now" when I can say "Cardina stalked towards the cowering Ballista with a wicked grin, twirling her Machete Wraith with a practiced ease." The second one gives the same information as the first, in addition to some nice imagery that helps set the scene.

 

6. Read ALL the posts you haven't seen yet.

 

Almost forgot this one. I'm not asking you to go through the 40-page backlog, but you should read probably the last four pages if you're just jumping into an RP. After you're in, read every post since last you've read, even if you think they don't have anything to do with your character. They might affect you in a two-step way, and it's better to be sure than post something that doesn't fit and have to edit it later.

 

So yep, hopefully you find all that helpful.

Reading this I realize just how badly I've been doing with my own posts. I have shamed myself... also since I'm still sorta acclimating to Forum rp if I place any action between two *'s it may be an action instead of a word bleep, I'm trying to slowly train myself not to do that, but it's how I learned to rp originally.

[MasterDread]

It has been fixed Snale

[SnaleKing]

Ok, Blade, this has been on my mind a while, and I think now's as good a time as any to bring it up.

 

Your posts are being read. Without a doubt. When the situation calls for it, ie, other characters are actually involved or interested they are being replied to. Let's look at this for a second;

 

The same two random Tenno, two Lokis, that heard of Tatsuya's expulsion ran into cafeteria finding Cardina tending to an unconscious Arkas, one of them spoke up, "My lady Cardina, do you need any assistance?" the other one just started whispering, unaware that Cardina, and probably everyone in the vicinity could hear him, "Hey what about that Tatsuya guy? Didn't he get expelled from his clan?" the other Loki just glared, "Shut up man! Do you want Lady Cardina to hear about this? I hear they are friends, we have enough problems going on as it is." not noticing that everyone just heard them, "Uh.... did you guys just hear what we were saying?"

 

This is two no-name NPC's, who you created on the spot for the sole purpose of having someone to respond to Tatsuya, having a "secret" conversation and then literally asking for other people to reply. I get that you want people to pay attention to what you write, but it turns out that the arc you're writing with your characters is pretty self-contained. Mihosuya is happening, Church or other characters around them or not, it could happen in any setting, cast or thread. If we're not replying, it's because there's not a whole lot for us to reply to. It's like a photo in a pile of jigsaw puzzle pieces, wondering why all the other ones are connecting to each other but not itself; your picture is already done, whether we interact with it or not.

[SnaleKing]

It has been fixed Snale

 

thank you, Brodread.

[-Strayed-]

Sorry Snale I had no idea. I will replace it with -redacted- post.

Edited May 5, 2014 by Unendingblade

[Sumika1204]

Ok, Blade, this has been on my mind a while, and I think now's as good a time as any to bring it up.

 

Your posts are being read. Without a doubt. When the situation calls for it, ie, other characters are actually involved or interested they are being replied to. Let's look at this for a second;

 

 

 

This is two no-name NPC's, who you created on the spot for the sole purpose of having someone to respond to Tatsuya, having a "secret" conversation and then literally asking for other people to reply. I get that you want people to pay attention to what you write, but it turns out that the arc you're writing with your characters is pretty self-contained. Mihosuya is happening, Church or other characters around them or not, it could happen in any setting, cast or thread. If we're not replying, it's because there's not a whole lot for us to reply to. It's like a photo in a pile of jigsaw puzzle pieces, wondering why all the other ones are connecting to each other but not itself; your picture is already done, whether we interact with it or not.

 

And it kinda annoys me that he's doing this again with taking control of church characters. Granted, they're nameless Tenno who are in the area and not really important but controlling the church characters (except Cardina and any named others made by people who join) is pretty much what I spend like 3/4 of this rp doing.

Edited May 5, 2014 by Sumika1204

[SnaleKing]

Nah there's nothing to apologize for, don't feel bad. I just feel like it would be better to give honest, rather blunt feedback rather than ignore it much longer.

 

Also, Arkitect, come onnnnnn. Cardina will no-sh*t cut Arkas in half if he's going to ruin her day. I'm honestly not out to kill off everyone's OC's, but if people keep laying their necks out and pointing at the dotted line, I'll sure as hell swing.

Edited May 5, 2014 by SnaleKing

[-Strayed-]

I replaced it with a "-Redacted-" Won't happen again.

 

EDIT: gah I feel really bad now.

Edited May 5, 2014 by Unendingblade

[Sumika1204]

I imagine this if what it would be like if we held down Revel and tried to make him read Snale's post.

[SnaleKing]

I imagine this if what it would be like if we held down Revel and tried to make him read Snale's post.

 

hahahaha I enjoyed that far too much.

[MasterDread]

Bondocks my jam yo

[-Strayed-]

Ah the Boondocks....... wasn't that a bit extreme Sumika?

[Sumika1204]

Ah the Boondocks....... wasn't that a bit extreme Sumika?

 

Extreme? What do you mean? Though seriously, I have no idea.

[SirNocturne]

Nah there's nothing to apologize for, don't feel bad. I just feel like it would be better to give honest, rather blunt feedback rather than ignore it much longer.

 

Also, Arkitect, come onnnnnn. Cardina will no-sh*t cut Arkas in half if he's going to ruin her day. I'm honestly not out to kill off everyone's OC's, but if people keep laying their necks out and pointing at the dotted line, I'll sure as hell swing.

Well I thought Cardina was in ANOTHER PART OF THE SHIP. I was not trying to make a big event out of it, I just wanted to introduce some more background on him. It's not a posession, it's mental conditioning from his past. I really wanted to explain the details later, but then Cardina's all like "DON'T YOU DARE SCREW WITH MY DAY OFF!!!' Waving her machete around like a mad woman.

Please don't kill me.

[-Strayed-]

Extreme? What do you mean? Though seriously, I have no idea.

 

The video you posted, oh by the way, page 47 I believe, Tatsuya and Miho asks Gaia if they could join the Church. They will be revealing their pasts to her.

[SnaleKing]

Well I thought Cardina was in ANOTHER PART OF THE SHIP. I was not trying to make a big event out of it, I just wanted to introduce some more background on him. It's not a posession, it's mental conditioning from his past. I really wanted to explain the details later, but then Cardina's all like "DON'T YOU DARE SCREW WITH MY DAY OFF!!!' Waving her machete around like a mad woman.

Please don't kill me.

 

Killing withheld :) Sorry, I had her leave to her room to change out, and figured this would be as good a place as any to have her re-engage the characters. I wanted to set the mood a bit, not squash your backstory. :| My bad.

 

She'll go into his mind to deal with it, so we can dig around backstory there.

 

Edit; I guess I'm also a little OOC miffed that someone else is going "I house an unspeakable evil! You must fight it in my miiiiiind!" after we decided that this was a day of no-sh*t-going-down.

Edited May 5, 2014 by SnaleKing

[Sumika1204]

The video you posted, oh by the way, page 47 I believe, Tatsuya and Miho asks Gaia if they could join the Church. They will be revealing their pasts to her.

 

Already responded to that. It's on page 48, post #947. Oh and the video is just for humour.

Edited May 5, 2014 by Sumika1204

[Revel72]

I imagine this if what it would be like if we held down Revel and tried to make him read Snale's post.

 

HOHHOH! Good one. Exception as I still keep that short version of the rude word still bad... As I posted to SnaleKing I just decided to have some fun with my characters. Anyway we shall move on. (+ I am starting to think that it was bad attempt of humor)

[MasterDread]

I will be putting up pictures of Tyranis. I pride myself in people who actually read my posts and such to actually know what my character looks like. Now if only i could get a skin for the Galatine that makes it look battle torn.

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=256849111 

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=256849253 

[-Strayed-]

Already responded to that. It's on page 48, post #947.

 

Oh woops, my bad.

 

EDIT: Shinkiro you dog.

Edited May 5, 2014 by Unendingblade

[SnaleKing]

HOHHOH! Good one. Exception as I still keep that short version of the rude word still bad... As I posted to SnaleKing I just decided to have some fun with my characters. Anyway we shall move on. (+ I am starting to think that it was bad attempt of humor)

 

I think you misunderstand. I'm not objecting to the in-character content of your posts; if you decide to have one risk death by spying on Cardina, I have no OOC problem with that. What I'm trying to address, for everyone who could use the help here, is the readability and general quality of posts. I think everyone here would agree that it's extremely difficult to decipher what you're actually trying to say. You actually might have decent characters, but I wouldn't know because I have no idea what you're trying to say half the time.