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So What Yah Think?


Ibro156
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I had this in my head for a while now and I wanted to type it down as a story, but here's the catch - my English isn't the greatest. The story is about a kid called Makarov, who is sent to the Dax Army to fight the Infested. There is the Sentients and they do exist during this timeline, but I just want to hold on to them for now. Makarov would be put into a squad with other people like him, who never killed before. The other character would a be a Grineer clone called Grux, he would be the opposite of Clem's personality. He would use a Ignis as main weapon and loves burning things down. The squad would have a Corpus girl (still thinking for a name for her) that would be the Engineer for the Moas and maintenance person for the Squadron's gear and weapons. And finally, having a Lorist (healer) called Muriel, every squad would receive at least one Lorist depending on their fighting capabilities. They all would be weak and inexperience fighters, who would be sent to clean the Infested from each sector from Earth, while with others squads like them in each sector to do same job. The Story would take place when the virus back fired on the Orokin, while in battle with the Sentients. The Tenno and the Warframes won't exist, as Zairman 10-0 would be still lost in the void.

So is my plot decent? Do you think I should change somethings? Add some more main characters? Just gimme anything!

Edited by Ibro156
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....Did you get this idea from when I posted 'I am going to make a story' thread?

Also, the plot is fine but I feel as if you should call the 'Healer' a 'Medic' as, although this is a but 'Magicy' with some of the abilities, it is still Science-Fiction.

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1 minute ago, Basdiow said:

....Did you get this idea from when I posted 'I am going to make a story' thread?

Also, the plot is fine but I feel as if you should call the 'Healer' a 'Medic' as, although this is a but 'Magicy' with some of the abilities, it is still Science-Fiction.

What thread? 

IIRC, they called the medic in the Ancient lore imprints as "Healer" or by his first name, correct me if am wrong.

Edit: Just remembered their called "Lorist"

Edited by Ibro156
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4 minutes ago, Ibro156 said:

What thread? 

IIRC, they called the medic in the Ancient lore imprints as "Healer" or by his first name, correct me if am wrong.

Edit: Just remembered their called "Lorist"

Well, I never really read up on the lore so don't hate me.

Forgive meh.

Spoiler

The thread I am talking about is this: 

 

 

Edited by Basdiow
I just put in the thread link
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Just now, Basdiow said:

Well, I never really read up on the lore so don't hate me.

Forgive meh.

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The thread I am talking about is called something like this: 'I decided to make a story about Warframe', it should be recent so just look down the threads in Off-Topic.

 

Oh, no worries. The lore is interesting, and if you do want to learn about Warframe's lore - Its worth checking out

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9 hours ago, (XB1)A Frikn Grizzly said:

The names are kind of eh. I was half-expecting to read something among the lines of "Makarov shoots one them, saying "that was no message. This is a message."

Yah, am not the greatest with names. But I am trying to make sound like their part of there own faction. If you have any suggesstions, am open

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