"tenno" Imbeciles Fighting Chickens And Orderlys At Mental Hospital

[JackVernian]

You see, comrades, mates, fellow Tennonites, etc.
Have you ever noticied how strangely Warframe factions look?
I may or may not be explaining quite a wee bit of it.

You see, Tenno are as a matter of fact, Mentally Ill persons, who's imagination is getting better of their reality.
Why is it so?
I dare not to explain, for jokes about Imbeicles are bad, but nevertheless.

One bright morning day, Tenno was laying in his room, in mental clinic. He woke up. World has began changing around him. His mother(to which he reffers as to "Lotus") has came to relearn him how to talk, walk, hold spoon and jump. Everything went well, except for the fact that poor $&*&*#(%& tenno after learning these simple tasks was let go of his mental clinical prison and followed to a ranch, at which he was given a combat shovel, pistol made out of stick, and a piece of plastic which resembeled an assasult rifle, but was barely anything but so, our Poor $&*&*#(%& Tenno (PRT) was ordered to kill a chicken. One minute later he was ordered to mass-murder them all. How did he kill chicken with a shovel? Obviously chopped them in half or threw them up into the air and smashed, that was an easy question. About his stick-pistol and plastic pseudo rifle. He just threw them at chickens at sub-sonic velocities, killing them. He then ran up to them and picked up "ammo". On the real side of things, he just picked up the stick or the plastic piece he has just thrown, and often had to repeat the process.

Thanks to his mother, Lotus, our PRT finally became infamous chicken mass-murderer. Many he fought them, and brave. Yard after yard, Shed after shed, he collected around him a horde of like-minded PRT's. Together they butchered the whole farms and factories full of chicken. It was not long untill mental clinic took interest in their activities once again. it's then when they began seeing "Corpus", a.a.a. mental orderly with stunsticks who were ordered to take them down. Nuff said. They fought brave and many, they believed what they imagined. They became true PRTs.

Then, suddenly, one day, they were raiding another yard which was supposed to be cracking full of chickens, but instead, they met a huge mob of dogs. That's right. Because they broke into not the casual yard, but into a home for dogs. They got licked, bitten, and humped into knee without remorse!! PRT's then called this faction the "Infested". Don't ask me how ro why or when. That's just a twisted logic of a Tenno for you.

Some time later they started to encounter biggest and toughest foes, to which they gave different names:

Grineer:

Captain Vor - a rooster. Nuff said.
Councilor Vay Hek - another rooster. Negotiator. Has extremely poor skills in diplomacy, but extremely high ambitions and huge size for a broiler.
Gen. Sargas Ruk - Robotic framethrower domestic hellfire infernal hellish devli chicken.

Overall, grineer "bosses" are mostly chicken, with occasional cases of robotic implants and deadliness.

Corpus:

Alad V - Police Officer William McClosky, and his dog Barrel
Ambulas, Harvester, Jackal, Hyena- a number of dogs belonging to mr. McClosky. Nothing special.

Raptor - William's personal radio-controlled heli. Mostly a toy. 

Sgt. Nef Anyo – A proud southern fellow by the name William from the US, who decided that it's a good thing to shoot Tennos for sports.

 

Overall, corpus "bosses" are mostly puppies, with occasional toys and really dangerous and/or big dogs. And deadliness, of course.

 

P.S. If you remember still, to get a new weapon, Tennos have to repeatedly beat down roosters, police officers, and their dogs. Don't ask how or why. They demand blueprints, and construct poor replicas using them.

 

I'm not going to decypher the Infested, simply because of how horrific the truth might be. Instead, I want you to see some glorious footage from the game:

Special thanks to my friends:
EngiN33R
Cheremenin
Fetell
90% of the content above was generated by our drunken minds over the 8-hour "crash" courses in skype voicechat.
Also i want to make a note that we're relatively new players, have been playing for just over a week or so.
Cheers.

Edited January 31, 2014 by JackVernian

[Nitresco]

Dude, I'm so high right now.

[Cheremenin]

http://i.imgur.com/MWa3kit.png

[zergla]

 

[JackVernian]

http://gifmaker.me/PlayGIFAnimation.php?folder=2014022303UUA1l5wpuQL2tMG5NwSfnK&file=output_niuExf.gif&music=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ktbhw0v186Q&start=10

 

Bump'd

[Satsaru]

That was one hell of a first post.

[Cyrionn]

[JackVernian]

After long months of laze, Engi has managed to finish editing our early new-player impression footage vidoe.

[Somedude1000]

Everyone should do this....?

[JackVernian]

Should do what?