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This Close To Blending My Kubrow. (Kubrow Rant)


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I have literally stopped the Derelict Sabotage I was playing to write this...


My Kubrow is the most redundant waste of space, credits and oxygen that I've ever had the misfortune of playing with.


Here's the context; was going to do a ODS after my dog consecutively ruined 3 Grineer stealth runs by running into the enemy I was trying to stealth stab, and was downed twice due to sitting in front of an openly firing enemy like a sack of furry bricks. Rage quit Gave up and decided to do something a little less stealthy.


So heading towards the portal this bloody mutt would clip into every kind of obstacle that was known to man. Doors, Elevator consoles, Roots, My foot you name it he probably smacked headfirst into it at some stage (maybe severe head trauma is why he's so mentally handicapped? idk)


Each enemy he would encounter he would use his Sahasa "grapple" on. Now this might be a bug, but I'm pretty sure this used to do ALOT of damage at some point (can confrim one shotting T3 heavy gunners). Now every enemy he grabs they just kinda brush him off. Not only does it do little to no damage, but it renders you unable to deal damage to the grappled target until the entire 5 second animation has finished. Not exactly the best flowing mechanic in Warframe... Really annoying when you want to wipe out a group only to have your mutt grab a guy and render him invulnerable for the next few seconds...


Now for the part that &!$$ed me off the most. Arriving at the portal and sniping the Grineer that came through it, I swear this little s*** was determined as all hell to stand in front of my sights, blocking ALOT of shots and generally being the biggest nuisance known to man (he wouldn't go away if you moved he would just return to the exact same point in front of you, even changing direction he would ALWAYS be in your sights). Also since I have a craptop every time I aim around the vicinity of my dog with a scope I get around 20 FPS (-15 FPS decrease) thanks to his hi-res hairs. Which really throws you off because of the mouse lag that occurs during that time. That combined with his lifelong goal of being his partners target practice... Yeah not fun. This is just what happened over the past hour ffs, this has been happening for over a month straight.


Never have I wanted to blend my Kubrow. Until now


Never have I left him to die out of pure spite. Until now


Never have I hated such a lovable creature. Until now


He used to be such a good boy... Where did it all go so wrong DE?

Edited by KilelrDrone492
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Jesus christ man, I had to stop reading this 3 times because i was about to burst out laughing in the office, and nobody believes that warranty claims are that funny.

But apart from that, Kubrows do need some love and tweaking, and the issue you so eloquently point out are some that I have noticed myself.

I even reported the "imma stand in front of yo scope" thing some weeks ago.


I've put my space-llama in the outdog house for now, and switched to my "moar dakka" Dethcube.

Edited by BenzinNinJa
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Ruining stealth missions, running into things, standing infront of your sights when trying to shoot, standing around face tanking enemy fire sounds just like your average run of the mill PUG, to me.....



Oh wait, you were talking about the Kubrows.... well yes, they are annoying too.

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I havent had my kubrow out in almost a month. I gave up on trying to keep it alive by wasting credits on them, they are only useful when I'm doing a capture mission, but valkyr can do it better anyway. Ripline + paralysis + melee finisher takes 3 seconds, I wait 5-10 seconds for my sunika to tackle the fugly guy.

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