Sormatte Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 This thread took an interesting turn o.o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datsher Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Oh, I see. Well, we are almost finishing October, and people say taking a break clear your mind. Maybe you could give a great advance on it now? And maybe, if you think about it you could find more motivation. I can't think on anything else that could help you right now. That's what I'd do at least. And maybe it can work for you? I dunno Here's the first chapter, might have grammar issues. If you find them, tell me. Also tell me what you think. http://puu.sh/kbhzp/23574b3327.png (I made a puush of it a month ago because I posted that one in the lies thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElGuirrix Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 (edited) Here's the first chapter, might have grammar issues. If you find them, tell me. Also tell me what you think. http://puu.sh/kbhzp/23574b3327.png (I made a puush of it a month ago because I posted that one in the lies thread Interesting indeed, I like it. It's well written and makes sense for someone that doesn't know about it, such as myself. Only grammar mistakes I've noticed, and aren't actually that much of a mistake, are in the first paragraph and the first lines of the second: You used "desperate" and "desperation" too close from each other. I'd change any one of those. And in the second paragraph you could skip the second use of "pod", with a similar word, or just skip it. Haven't noticed anything that would be wrong, actually. Great work Edited October 23, 2015 by ElGuirrix Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datsher Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Interesting indeed, I like it. It's well written and makes sense for someone that doesn't know about it, such as myself. Only grammar mistakes I've noticed, and aren't actually that much of a mistake, are in the first paragraph and the first lines of the second: You used "desperate" and "desperation" too close from each other. I'd change any one of those. And in the second paragraph you could skip the second use of "pod", with a similar word, or just skip it. Haven't noticed anything that would be wrong, actually. Great work Why thank you kind sir. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElGuirrix Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Why thank you kind sir. No need to mention it. I'd like to see it when you progress more on it, and of course when you think its finished. Gotta go to sleep now. But I'll drop by this afternoon if I can. If you want to talk or anything. Good night Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElGuirrix Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 *sigh* All by my lonesome. *lays on his corner playing with his apparently intelligent device* Not surprised I'm alone *keeps playing* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renegade343 Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 This thread is now one of us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
(PSN)Legolegend144 Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 This thread is now one of us. Yay, assimilation! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElGuirrix Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 This thread is now one of us. What do you mean? And, hello Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renegade343 Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 What do you mean? And, hello We have made tytl join our ranks. Soon, you will too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElGuirrix Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 We have made tytl join our ranks. Soon, you will too. Right. I don't know how close that is. I Just have my corner and my drone fella Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renegade343 Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Right. I don't know how close that is. I Just have my corner and my drone fella *Chews ElGuirrix.* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElGuirrix Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 *Chews ElGuirrix.* *special suit is to hard and might break teeth* Just keep trying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renegade343 Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 *special suit is to hard and might break teeth* Just keep trying. *Swallows ElGuirrix whole.* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElGuirrix Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 *Swallows ElGuirrix whole.* *Opens space crack and escapes* You are not Noamuth. *little drone zaps renegade's eye for being mean* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renegade343 Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 *Opens space crack and escapes* You are not Noamuth. *little drone zaps renegade's eye for being mean* Ow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElGuirrix Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Ow. Good job, Raztol. *the drone started spinning around ElGuirrix with happy beeping* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
(XBOX)MK Ultra K11 Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 *_* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElGuirrix Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 *_* Hello? Beep? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Yay, assimilation! *Assimilation Complete* https://youtu.be/-5T19v3zliY?t=145 *Opens space crack and escapes* You are not Noamuth. *little drone zaps renegade's eye for being mean* Why do you hurt us? We are your flesh. Hello? Beep? Assimilate yourself with the Off-Topic Hive mind. Together we can rule the galaxy as father and son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElGuirrix Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 *Assimilation Complete* https://youtu.be/-5T19v3zliY?t=145 Why do you hurt us? We are your flesh. Assimilate yourself with the Off-Topic Hive mind. Together we can rule the galaxy as father and son. Sounds tempting. But you are not my father >.> And unless any of you speak Italian to help me in an exam. I'll have to refuse for convenience. For now... Beep? Bee-beep! It wants to know how long it took them to assimilate you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
(XBOX)MK Ultra K11 Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Hello? Beep? Hey. Im volt. *pokes* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElGuirrix Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Hey. Im volt. *pokes* Hello. I'm this, kinda http://en.elswordonline.com/wp-content/themes/elsword3/images/modde/elsword_diabolic_esper_wp_1920x1080.jpg *pokes back* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Hello. I'm this, kinda http://en.elswordonline.com/wp-content/themes/elsword3/images/modde/elsword_diabolic_esper_wp_1920x1080.jpg *pokes back* Diabolic Esper Too bad I'm not an Add fan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElGuirrix Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Diabolic Esper Too bad I'm not an Add fan. Never mind. I am. Kinda. See ya in couple hours *opens space crack* Italian test here I go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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