Volt_Cruelerz Posted February 8, 2014 Share Posted February 8, 2014 (edited) After posting a related thread, I ended up creating an outline of what I thought would be a hilarious next step for Darvo. I then proceeded to get bored during a databases class as the professor was going over what I already knew and started to write out the actual dialogue of it (which you see below). I personally enjoyed writing it and would enjoy playing it, so who knows, maybe others will enjoy reading it. Mission Prompt Tenno, I have a request for you. You see, I've been looking to expand my business for some time now. Along with the profits for me, there would of course be more savings for you. To do this though, I need to impress a potential trading partner. That's where you come in, Tenno. All you have to do is go in, gather some information on the Grineer fleet movements, and get out! Easy! Yes, I know there have been surprises along the way for our previous encounters, but this time I'll make sure to send you to a nice, lowly little outpost where all they do is process intel. Minimal guards, no real threat to you. Look, I'll even throw in a Catalyst! If this business partnership can be established, you'll be seeing discounts across the board! It's a win for everyone, except perhaps my father. He'll probably be unhappy, but don't worry. I haven't told anyone else about this. And whatever you do, DO NOT TELL THE LOTUS! Darvo Mission Script Players enter mission Darvo: I'm so glad you decided to take me up on my offer! All you have to do is just go grab some datamasses. They should be marked on your HUD... now. Players are marked as objectives Darvo: why aren't you... Oh, my mistake. Here, it should be working now. Objectives properly marked Tenno progress through mission Darvo: I'm so glad you agreed to help me out on this. She can be really hard to impress. Tenno pick up first datamass Darvo: Good! Yes! Great! I mean, I've worked with her associates before, but this is sure to win her favor! Tenno progress through mission Darvo: You know, my father would really disapprove of this partnership. He'd throw a fit. Actually no, he'd probably throw Osprey wings at me again... He'll still find out eventually if she agrees, but he wouldn't be able to stop it. In the long run, I actually have plans to merge with her, in a manner of speaking. Tenno pick up second datamass Darvo: Ooh! Yes, almost there.. This relationship is sure to happen! I'm certain she'll say yes. Tenno progress through mission Darvo: I can hardly take the anticipation. You know, it took a lot of confidence to get to this step... ... but what if she says no? No... we can't be letting ourself think that way, Darvo... be optimistic... Tenno pick up third and final datamass Darvo: You've got all three! She's sure to be my partner now! This relationship is bound to happen. ... Since it's not like there's anything on that ship that's actually a threat to you, I'll go ahead and send the relatio.. er.. business, yes, business proposal, telling her she'll have a delivery of Grineer fleet movement intelligence soon. Darvo's Computer: Message titled "A Partnership Like No Other" sent to contact "Lotus." Darvo: Ah... it's done... Nothing I can do now. Now we wait for her response. Tenno progress towards the exit Lotus suddenly pops up into the coms, infuriated Lotus: DARVO! Darvo: ... yes? Lotus: what is this?!? Darvo: it's a... letter... detailing our compatibility as... partners... Lotus: It's a love letter! Darvo: ... I suppose you could call it that... Lotus (reading from the message): "My love for you burns with a fire hotter than the nuclear reactor that powers you." Darvo: It does... Lotus (reading from the message): "I'd trade a million credits for just one evening with you?" Darvo: I would... unless the economy took a downturn, then you'd have to settle for... Lotus (reading from the message): "My log(n) would fit nicely into your big O?!" Darvo: I thought it was a rather creative pickup line for someone like you... Lotus: Darvo, you idiot! I'm not even human! Darvo: But we Corpus love our robotics! An AI isn't that different! Please just say yes... I'll get on the Solar Rail tonight and meet you as soon as I can! Lotus pauses, exhasperated before composing herself. Lotus: No. I'm forwarding this message onto your father. I'll let him take care of this. ... Tenno, I'm still expecting that intel. Lotus leaves the conversation Darvo (sounding like he's about to cry and turned away from the camera): I guess I won't be expanding any time soon.. or getting with her... You'll still get your Catalyst... as promised... Now, if you don't mind, I think I'd like to be alone... player finishes mission Edited February 8, 2014 by Volt_Cruelerz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukeAura Posted February 8, 2014 Share Posted February 8, 2014 I think Darvo might need a hug after that. My sides are splitting though. That's beautiful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheImmortalHotDog Posted February 8, 2014 Share Posted February 8, 2014 I'll make love with Darvo if it makes him happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newnar Posted February 8, 2014 Share Posted February 8, 2014 (edited) Oh gawdDarvo X Lotus???Who would've guessed? EDIT: Lotus such tsundere Edited February 8, 2014 by newnar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rengakun Posted February 8, 2014 Share Posted February 8, 2014 Same here. Time to give him the affection he deserves~ I'd expect you to actually send death threats to the Lotus and the few who are...slightly...affectionate about Darvo... (i.e. TheImmortalHotDog) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amistyrja Posted February 8, 2014 Share Posted February 8, 2014 Not even human? 0_____o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Volt_Cruelerz Posted February 8, 2014 Author Share Posted February 8, 2014 (edited) Not even human? 0_____o there's a lot of hints that she's a machine that have been dropped over the course of the past year. Edited February 8, 2014 by Volt_Cruelerz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-CM-Aeon Posted February 8, 2014 Share Posted February 8, 2014 Did some1 say catalyst? I immediately approve of this topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
(PSN)GR13V4NC3 Posted February 8, 2014 Share Posted February 8, 2014 +1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koloricsi Posted February 8, 2014 Share Posted February 8, 2014 This would be damn hilarious and almost fit warframe with minor adjustments :D +1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Volt_Cruelerz Posted February 14, 2014 Author Share Posted February 14, 2014 given the time of year... bump... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zergla Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 Fifteen upvotes... Fifteen upvotes is all that this piece of comedy genius gets?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukeAura Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 given the time of year... bump... This is one of the rare occasions I will agree to such a bump. It almost feels like Darvo and Lotus are those two awkward singles at a party, and someone just bumps them into each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Volt_Cruelerz Posted February 15, 2014 Author Share Posted February 15, 2014 (edited) Fifteen upvotes... Fifteen upvotes is all that this piece of comedy genius gets?! I guess it just doesn't appeal to some. It also depends on the person understanding the idea that Lotus is an AI which isn't universally agreed upon. EDIT: also, the O(log(n)) isn't going to make sense to everyone. For the record, that joke was lifted from here. I didn't feel bad doing that because I know both the guy in that picture and the person that tried to popularize that meme. The guy in the picture now works at Cisco IIRC (and probably doesn't want it attributed to him) and the guy who came up with the idea of turning that picture into a meme wouldn't care in the slightest. Edited February 15, 2014 by Volt_Cruelerz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meIody- Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 Valentine alert 2015, anyone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shiniko Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 DarvoxLotus ftw <3 All my ship is here. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mirakid Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 Same here. Time to give him the affection he deserves~ The minute I finished reading this I knew Sam would be some where around this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meIody- Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 Warframe shipping chart, anyone AladVxFrohdBek FTW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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