Speed Dating [Open RP, IC, Probably +18] Revived~

[Ghost333]

1 minute ago, Locky122 said:

"nope, not at all. come to think of it, I'm about as far from a scholar as you can get...although I am pretty adept at gathering intelligence, if I say so myself"
The osprey, instead of collecting the glass, replenished it
{I can go with that, I guess}

 

Lysandra pursed her lips and took a deep breath.
"Boy, if you are bad at ice breakers then the least you could do is fall for 'em. And to answer my own question, it's usually about three kilos. Sometimes one. Depends on the chicken*."

*^{I know that because I literally just checked.}
**^{Also, I have been neglecting these little footnotes in some of my posts. How can I ever hope to be an equal to Terry Pratchett if I don't use them?***}
***^{Aside from the fact that I never will be and attempting to hold myself to such a lofty goal is impossible when the works of Douglas Adams also exist, even the late great Pratchett didn't have a terminal case of footnote fever. More of a benign case. He did have a terminal case of Alzheimer, though, but he brought that down with him, thrashing it with his meteorite sword!****}
****^{Yes, I am still emotionally scarred that Terry Pratchett is dead. I cried when I finished reading The Shepherds Crown, and not because of the emotional impact of the story. Now if you'll excuse me for a moment, I just made myself sad again.}

[Locky122]

Alcander's cheeks stung from both a mix of the alcohol and the embarrassment. Unfortunately, he had gotten sick of opening the lower part of the helmet constantly to drink, and had removed it.
"S-sorry, it's just that I've spent the best part of three years as a solo operative.....so I haven't got that big of a friends list.."
He downed another scotch, not really for enjoyment, but because of habit, trying to distract himself from the situation.

".. a-anyway, what do you do to keep busy? Not that there's much opportunity to stay idle in this sh*t-hole of a solar system, but still..."

Edited August 16, 2016 by Locky122

[Ghost333]

18 minutes ago, Locky122 said:

Alcander's cheeks stung from both a mix of the alcohol and the embarrassment. Unfortunately, he had gotten sick of opening the lower part of the helmet constantly to drink, and had removed it.
"S-sorry, it's just that I've spent the best part of three years as a solo operative.....so I haven't got that big of a friends list.."
He downed another scotch, not really for enjoyment, but because of habit, trying to distract himself from the situation.

".. a-anyway, what do you do to keep busy? Not that there's much opportunity to stay idle in this sh*t-hole of a solar system, but still..."

"Mostly run odd jobs. Heavy lifting, enforcing, flirting with anyone who'll have me." Lysandra said as she nibbled on her choccy. "Hey, maybe you and Edgelord will get along. Sounds like you two do the same things, though to be fair you look and sound normal."
At that moment, a deus-ex machina occurred, almost quite literally, as Umbra suddenly snapped online to protest. "EXCUSE ME, PRINCESS! I AM NOT AN EDGELORD, I AM A SOFT, SENSITIVE MANLY MAN!"
Lysandra chuckled*. "So says the one with the pink princess bed cover."
"IT WAS THE CHEAPEST AND MOST COMFORTABLE ONE THEY HAD!"

*^{Okay, I can't say snig with a ger on the end? I know why, but come on censorbot! I'm not being racist towards negroes*!}
**^{And I don't even know if saying that is alright.}

Edited August 16, 2016 by Ghost333
Seriously censorbot?

[Locky122]

"you two know eachother, huh..." Alcander said while scratching the back of his neck
{this isn't going well, alcander...being redirected is never a good thing, especially if you're being redirected to a guy...}

[Ghost333]

Lysandra stifled the urge to burst out laughing. "Yeah, that's my brother, Umbra. If you believe his hype, he's the best mercenary in the solar system. Problem is, he has to contend with me," she said, suddenly doing macho flexing motions.
Umbra scowled holographically. "Screw you, I'm going over to the couch. It's comfortable and has leather upholstery." With nary a flash or wisp of smoke, he teleported over to the couches, sulking all the while.
Unable to contain it any longer Lysandra burst out laughing, much to Umbras chagrin. "Oh my god, you are such a child!"

[Locky122]

"I guess that happened then" He chuckles lightly to the Ash's outburst.
"Well, I'm not quite at the title of "Best Mercenary Around", but I like to think that I'm better than the average bum waltzing around out there...I mainly do exterminates and sabotages, I do do the odd spy mission, but being an excalibur, that sometimes doesn't work out well."
He looks around to check if there's no-one listening, then leans in and whispers "...I swear I have developed PTSD from getting my &#! handed to me over and over again in corpus spy missions, and all because of moa cabinets..." *shudders* "even though they were early missions, I have never really been too confident in those since"

"Honestly it's half the reason I'm not that confident in my skills in general"

Edited August 16, 2016 by Locky122

[Ghost333]

Lysandra raised an eyebrow at Alcander. "Barkeep, if I'm not on hold still I'd take a vodka for me and my friend here." The Osprey beeped in the affirmative, and two bottles of vodka slid across the counter, stopping just in front of the pair. "MOA cabinets, huh? You know you can hack some of them to bring Shockers to the field on your side? It's bloody hilarious seeing those boxheads go flying all over the place. I mean, sure, it's not that great for stealth, but hey. You owe yourself a little fun on missions."

[Locky122]

"I only found out about that when I got to the 20th failed mission in a row...thankfully that mission was a success. It came out as a railgun MOA...that ruined peoples' days real quick..."
He poured a shot of vodka
"Unfortunately, my reputation by then had been ruined, and that took the best part of the past 3 years to fix..."
He downed the shot, slamming the glass down on the bench
"Eventually the Steel Meridian decided that I was worth looking into, so I have that going for me, I guess...still have trouble getting into teams now and then, some people have a tendency of having 'navigational errors' whenever they see me on their squad"

Edited August 16, 2016 by Locky122

[Ghost333]

"Eh, I learned to just shut the console down when that happened. 'Sides, usually easier to tackle things on your own." Lysandra said, draining half the bottle in one go. "Well, some things anyway."

[KuraioNokami]

Meanwhile, the Ember's hand was still on fire. Even worse, her table was now also catching on fire. The Ember had gone from a daydream into a nightmare, as could be seen from her constant terrified reactions.

[Locky122]

"Yeah, some things, you need a team for. For example, I was doing a lephantis run: I went into the console to see if anyone would help. After 12 hours of waiting, I decided to go solo.....the result: Half my body was mauled to shreds, and an infection spread through my right arm and torso. That's why I got this armour, because after the infection was stopped, it was the only set that would fit me properly" He downs another shot of vodka "...plus, it look good..."
He suddenly notices the flaming table.
"...and is someone gonna do something about that? If not: where are the fire extinguishers in this place?"

Edited August 16, 2016 by Locky122

[Ghost333]

Hm...half-infested, eh? Screw it, he's still probably cute under that suit.
"Dayum." Lysandra said, leaning back for emphasis. "That does not sound like a good time."

[Locky122]

"No...it wasn't. Being in a coma for a month straight and then having 4 months of rehab isn't something I want to go through again"

[Ghost333]

"Well, I have no idea how to respond to that." Lysandra stated bluntly. 

[Locky122]

"it's fine, I got over it pretty quickly"
He Finishes another shot.
"I've had a few good moments: One time I took out Tyl Regor with nothing much other than my Tiberon and a half modded lex...still had to take him out with a sword in the end. Didn't get taken out once, but it was a hell of a tough fight. Too bad the bastards just up and made another version of him...they always do"

"How about you: Any juicy stories to tell?"

Edited August 16, 2016 by Locky122

[Denny2669]

((Page 100! Wooohooo!))

Luv started getting her senses back, still enjoying the chocolate as slowly as possible. She barely heard the Rhino talk "Huh? Oh, yeah, totally heard what you said..." she didn't...

What she did hear is the birdbrain flirting with somebody else. Even though she probably owes her or Umbra a kiss for the chocolate, she's glad that now she won't have to break her heart. She whispered "Rawr, go get him, eagle"

Edited August 16, 2016 by Denny2669
Ninja'd

[Teloch]

1 hour ago, KuraioNokami said:

Meanwhile, the Ember's hand was still on fire. Even worse, her table was now also catching on fire. The Ember had gone from a daydream into a nightmare, as could be seen from her constant terrified reactions.

 

 

 

((play this when reading))

Spoiler

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seems like the hostess was way too captivated by the drug-like chocolate to pay attention to anything, including patrons inquiries. What a bummer! The man expected some evening bar adventures, or to get slapped across his mug by some hoity-toity lass, but not sitting like a dull loser in his late forties over an empty shot who's career burned down to ashes irrevocably a couple of hours ago and who's wife betrays her own habits when actually sleeping with him.

"I swear I can feel me arse grillin' from all this dumb sittin'" He grumbled quietly... Wait. Something was burning!

The universe went to the slo-mo mode when he sniffed the air and looked around, trying to define the source of burning. Witnessing a previously stoned Ember squirming in pain instantly wiped off his bored expression. An adventure! he thought while starting off of his stool and letting it fall on the floor with a dramatic clank. While sprinting to the target, he grabbed an osprey which was already carrying an antique fire extinguisher like an average rugby player who has caught a pass and was now on his way to the goal. When he got to the yelling lass, he kicked the table she was sitting at, sending it somersaulting in the direction of pinball machines, and trained the osprey which was still holding the fire extinguisher at her. Standing in a heroic pose, he tickled poor drone's grabbers, making the tin bastard "open fire" from the gallon. Within two next seconds, the unfortunate Ember began to resemble an average snowman made by a bored corpus crewman patrolling a gas station on Europe. Within three more seconds, one could characterize the girl as a relatively slim yeti dragged from a foam bath to a dating club. When he nearly emptied the load of extinguisher gallon, he squashed the remnants of the sand-ish foam atop her helmet, coiling it as a cream upon a cake. After saving the day having a fun time covering an unknown maiden with white foam ((no pun, ye perverts)) he shook the empty container above his head victoriously and loudly slammed it against the floor before returning to his bar seat. The slo-mo effect came to an end.

Edited August 16, 2016 by Teloch
Forgot to cross one thingie

[Ghost333]

12 minutes ago, Locky122 said:

"it's fine, I got over it pretty quickly"
He Finishes another shot.
"I've had a few good moments: One time I took out Tyl Regor with nothing much other than my Tiberon and a half ranked lex...still had to take him out with a sword in the end. Didn't get taken out once, but it was a hell of a tough fight. Too bad the bastards just up and made another version of him...they always do"

"How about you: Any juicy stories to tell?"

"I once punched my way out of a mosh pit of infested." Lysandra said casually, draining the last half of her vodka before calling another. "And I punched my way out of a Grineer ambush. Hell, I punch my way out of a lot of things. Oh! Wait! There's my entire jaunt through a different universe, but then again that was mostly boring. Except for the part where I banged a god."

3 minutes ago, Denny2669 said:

What she did hear is the birdbrain flirting with somebody else. Even though she probably owes her or Umbra a kiss for the chocolate, she's glad that now she won't have to break her heart. She whispered "Rawr, go get him, eagle"

((Don't worry: Lysandra's heart is hard to break. Just like her liver! And her bones! And...everything else really. Gene modding is awesome! Need a substitute for magic that isn't nanobots? Gene modding! Now available in stores for 49.99! GET YOUR GENES TODAY!))

[KuraioNokami]

3 minutes ago, Teloch said:

((play this before reading))

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

Seems like the hostess was way too captivated by the drug-like chocolate to pay attention to anything, including patrons inquiries. What a bummer! The man expected some evening bar adventures, or to get slapped across his mug by some hoity-toity lass, but not sitting like a dull loser in his late forties over an empty shot who's career burned down to ashes irrevocably a couple of hours ago and who's wife betrays her own habits when actually sleeping with him.

"I swear I can feel me arse grillin' from all this dumb sittin'" He grumbled quietly... Wait. Something was burning!

The universe went to the slo-mo mode when he sniffed the air and looked around, trying to define the source of burning. Witnessing a previously stoned Ember squirming in pain instantly wiped off his bored expression. An adventure! he thought while starting off of his stool and letting it fall on the floor with a dramatic clank. While sprinting to the target, he grabbed an osprey which was already carrying an antique fire extinguisher like an average rugby player who has caught a pass and was now on his way to the goal. When he got to the yelling lass, he kicked the table she was sitting at, sending it somersaulting in the direction of pinball machines, and trained the osprey which was still holding the fire extinguisher at her. Standing in a heroic pose, he tickled poor drone's grabbers, making the tin bastard "open fire" from the gallon. Within two next seconds, the unfortunate Ember began to resemble an average snowman made by a bored corpus crewman patrolling a gas station on Europe. Within three more seconds, one could characterize the girl as a relatively slim yeti dragged from a foam bath to a dating club. When he nearly emptied the load of extinguisher gallon, he squashed the remnants of the sand-ish foam atop her helmet, coiling it as a cream upon a cake. After saving the day having a fun time covering an unknown maiden with white foam ((no pun, ye perverts)) he shook the empty container above his head victoriously and loudly slammed it against the floor before returning to his bar seat. 

Something must have gone horribly wrong, because the stuff that was supposed to extinguish fires caught on fire the moment it came into contact with the Ember. TheEmber flailed wildly until she hit a switch on her Warframe, creating a small Nullifier field around her that extinguished the fires.

[Locky122]

2 minutes ago, Ghost333 said:

"I once punched my way out of a mosh pit of infested." Lysandra said casually, draining the last half of her vodka before calling another. "And I punched my way out of a Grineer ambush. Hell, I punch my way out of a lot of things. Oh! Wait! There's my entire jaunt through a different universe, but then again that was mostly boring. Except for the part where I banged a god."

Alcander almost dropped the bottle of vodka on the floor, his mouth hanging open as he tried to comprehend what he heard
"y-you banged a god....a f*#@ing god.......HOW"

[Ghost333]

3 minutes ago, Locky122 said:

Alcander almost dropped the bottle of vodka on the floor, his mouth hanging open as he tried to comprehend what he heard
"y-you banged a god....a f*#@ing god.......HOW"

"Why, my charming personality, love!" Said the birdbrained mercenary with a sly wink. "Also I challenged her to a bout of fisticuffs, even though she used psionics to throw a couch at me, she lost and then we started dating. She's cute."
 

Spoiler

MEANWHILE
IN AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT UNIVERSE

A woman looked up from her work, sensing a disturbance in the force.
"Lysandra's boasting about me again, isn't she?" She thought aloud.

"Is it just me, or did you feel a cold chill just then?"

[Teloch]

27 minutes ago, Denny2669 said:

*bump*

 

 

Upon taking his seat near the bar, he addressed the hostess once again, now with a more lively voice

"So tell me, sunshine, were there any interesting visitors this evening? I'm trying to callul... cacula... calculate me chances of meeting a fair feek around here"

Edited August 16, 2016 by Teloch
wrong quote x_x

[Locky122]

"I think it was just you, sorry..."
Alcander thinks for a bit more, knowing that he couldn't top that claim, but wanted to add more achievements to his roster
"Well, even though it doesn't come close to your previous statement, I once managed to obliterate half the population of a Grineer asteroid mining facility using nothing but a single turret: I think I killed 600 of the bastards before I got bored."

[Ghost333]

"Ah, the Ramparts! Gotta love it when they don't occupy them fast enough. I reckon I only got 250 on one before some sneaky bastard came up from behind and tore me off." She took a swig of fine-&#! booze before continuing. "Then Umbra swung in and ripped the poor guy apart. Limbs just should not bend that way."
"I don't recall you complaining at the time!"

[Denny2669]

52 minutes ago, Teloch said:

Upon taking his seat near the bar, he addressed the hostess once again, now with a more lively voice

"So tell me, sunshine, were there any interesting visitors this evening? I'm trying to callul... cacula... calculate me chances of meeting a fair feek around here"

"Well, there were a bunch of available gals here, you were just so fed up with the pinball championship that you didn't notice" Luv chuckled, munching on another piece "But I'm sure if you just make yourself a bit... less overlook-able, your fair maiden will come"