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Outlandish Theory Thread


RadiatedPlatypus
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If you've got nothing better to do, make yourself comfortable and just spurt out whatever bullpoop theory you can about Warframe.

Example: In The War Within, we will make it to the Twin Queens' chamber, only to be attacked by Teshin who as it turns out is actually the Twin Queens combined into one. Once you kill him The War Within stops there and Lotus says "good job my child" and then we have to wait for U20 before we actually do that other part of the teaser. We do get to wear Teshin's helmet as a reward though (what that really means is that whatever Warframe you used will have that cosmetic sealed onto their head unable to be removed. Ever).

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Right before fighting Teshin, Vor teleports in and holds a 9 hour monologue, causing Teshin to commit suicide. You then loot him because that's all Tenno do anyways. You then proceed to the throne chamber only to be stopped by the 2 american guards whom you have to give burgers so that they let you through. What awaits you is actually just life sized Grineer Queen plushies because as you said Teshin was the real leader of the grineer all along. You can then place the plushies in your liset and craft more faction plushies because while completing The War Within you also seize control of a plushy factory. Also, @Plushy replaces the Lotus and becomes the new announcer.

In U20 you then have to shut down a sentient on Uranus and because of that quest you have to craft swimsuits for your Warframes because Archwing and Sharkwing were removed. The swimsuits also have extreme statbuffs, because Warframe is now an asian MMO and can be worn in normal missions as well because Balance isn't needed.

U22s quest then has you take control of the Corpus board which is done by inviting them to a bowl of noodles while secretly poisoning the bowl. You then replace the board with an actual wooden board and the Corpus seize all hostility towards you.

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4 hours ago, Skycook3y said:

Right before fighting Teshin, Vor teleports in and holds a 9 hour monologue, causing Teshin to commit suicide. You then loot him because that's all Tenno do anyways. You then proceed to the throne chamber only to be stopped by the 2 american guards whom you have to give burgers so that they let you through. What awaits you is actually just life sized Grineer Queen plushies because as you said Teshin was the real leader of the grineer all along. You can then place the plushies in your liset and craft more faction plushies because while completing The War Within you also seize control of a plushy factory. Also, @Plushy replaces the Lotus and becomes the new announcer.

In U20 you then have to shut down a sentient on Uranus and because of that quest you have to craft swimsuits for your Warframes because Archwing and Sharkwing were removed. The swimsuits also have extreme statbuffs, because Warframe is now an asian MMO and can be worn in normal missions as well because Balance isn't needed.

U22s quest then has you take control of the Corpus board which is done by inviting them to a bowl of noodles while secretly poisoning the bowl. You then replace the board with an actual wooden board and the Corpus seize all hostility towards you.

MURICA, LAYND OF DA FREEH, AN HOHM UF DA GRAAAAAAATE

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In Update 19 you have to play as an Orokin Soldier serving The Queens during the the era of The Old War. Warframe has become a true first-person shooter with the removal of the third person camera. You are assigned to the task of fighting Sentients while the Tenno do recon missions for the Orokin Executors. You are dropped off of your battle ship in a sandy desert region resembling phobos. There is a subtle brown haze of sand and dust in the atmosphere. Almost immediately your comrades are wiped out by the Batalyst forces of Hunhow.

For some reason they ignore you and after a split second they flare and dematerialize. Left alone on the battle ground, the sand clears out in a circle around you before you are met with a blinding light ray. You are almost blinded by the sheer power of it, so much so that you feel as if you are staring at a white dwarf star in full contact. In a quick, impulsive movement you lift your hand up to cover your face. The light dims as your blurred vision clears and all of a sudden you see Hunhow in his large, menacing appearance. You can see a blue spark and hear a charge like you are about to be completely decimated from the battle grounds.

As the burst hits you wake up in the middle of an Orokin lab. It turns out that the last sequence was just some Vietnam-esque flash back which was all in your mind. You find out that you are really an Orokin scientist with the goal of creating mods and augments for the Tenno in their suits. At this point in time Transference has not been invented yet and the tenno have to be in their suits while at battle. You hear the sharp *whizz* of a door opening behind you. You quickly turn around to be greeted by a Tenno standing there in their battle armor. They look worn and battle scarred. They start waltzing towards you. Panicking, you frantically try to think of what you should do. The Tenno is right in front of you now and you are trembling. In a slow, steady, precise motion the Tenno extends their balled fist out infront of you. Slowly They open each one of their fingers individually, unwrapping the item placed in the middle of their palm. It is a hamburger.

Swiftly you grab the exposed hamburger. Instantaneously, as soon as your hand makes contact with the hamburger the screen blinks to darkness. You jolt awake in DE studios and hear the Inception *BWAAAHHHH* sound effect. You immediately forget everything that just happened. You are a coder and lore author working at DE studios and your next assignment is a project called 'The Third Dream'.

...Get it...? ....3 sequences....Soldier, Scientist, Employee...... Third Dream?

Edited by oOSinox
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