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[Archive] Of Ash And Fire - Original Thread


SirNerdsAlot5
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Alright, so I've been having some trouble writing the fighting scenes. I'm trying to make it feel like Oron, Dale and Vivian are fighting against all the odds to protect the three newcomers, but I'm not able to get the perfect tone. Any suggestions?
 

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How long have you been at it bejuizb? Usually for me if I'm writing anything and it won't come out right, just taking a break and coming back to it helps a lot. I often go back and reread what I'm writing about (or what gave me inspiration, ect.) and that helps too.

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How long have you been at it bejuizb? Usually for me if I'm writing anything and it won't come out right, just taking a break and coming back to it helps a lot. I often go back and reread what I'm writing about (or what gave me inspiration, ect.) and that helps too.

On and off ever since my last snippet. About 6 hours total.......writers block sucks

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Excalibur shook his head. "That is quite all right, this is a public training room after all. But what are you doing here so late?" 

 

Acantha hesitated, then decided to speak her mind. "I wasn't at Mars when he died." There was no need to explain who 'he' was. "I convinced myself that I'd only be a burden. Now I wonder if he would still be here if I hadn't been such a coward... I want to improve, so I'll never again have to wonder whether I did all I could."

 

Excalibur's helmet clicked, then came off, revealing his weathered face and silver hair. He studied her face for a moment, as though looking for something. Satisfied, he spoke. "Perhaps you are right. Perhaps he would still be here if you had only fought. After all, Ajkrumen himself was only one warrior, and if he hadn't been there the Stalker might have killed many more."

 

Acantha winced. It was one thing to have her own thoughts say it, but to have it said so bluntly by another hurt.

 

"Then again," X continued. "It might have made no difference at all.You cannot keep wondering about 'what ifs.' Learn from your mistakes, let them improve you, then leave them behind. As a Tenno, you will live a very long life. I have made many mistakes in my own, and I know if I focused on every one, I would never have become what I am today."

 

The young Nova nodded slowly. She could see the wisdom in his words, and he had given her much to think about.

 

"Now then," Excalibur lifted his Orthos and snapped his helmet back on. "I believe you came here for practice? Come, let me pass down some of what I know."

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I do the same as Jeahanne, next to when i take a break i listen to music.

 

All thanks to Khi, im rummaging around in the music on youtube :P

Believe it or not, I've got the whole battle in my head. I've played the game so much that I can actually imagine it in my mind's eye. Its absolutely amazing, but I'm having trouble transmitting it into words.

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Excalibur shook his head. "That is quite all right, this is a public training room after all. But what are you doing here so late?" 

 

Acantha hesitated, then decided to speak her mind. "I wasn't at Mars when he died." There was no need to explain who 'he' was. "I convinced myself that I'd only be a burden. Now I wonder if he would still be here if I hadn't been such a coward... I want to improve, so I'll never again have to wonder whether I did all I could."

 

Excalibur's helmet clicked, then came off, revealing his weathered face and silver hair. He studied her face for a moment, as though looking for something. Satisfied, he spoke. "Perhaps you are right. Perhaps he would still be here if you had only fought. After all, Ajkrumen himself was only one warrior, and if he hadn't been there the Stalker might have killed many more."

 

Acantha winced. It was one thing to have her own thoughts say it, but to have it said so bluntly by another hurt.

 

"Then again," X continued. "It might have made no difference at all.You cannot keep wondering about 'what ifs.' Learn from your mistakes, let them improve you, then leave them behind. As a Tenno, you will live a very long life. I have made many mistakes in my own, and I know if I focused on every one, I would never have become what I am today."

 

The young Nova nodded slowly. She could see the wisdom in his words, and he had given her much to think about.

 

"Now then," Excalibur lifted his Orthos and snapped his helmet back on. "I believe you came here for practice? Come, let me pass down some of what I know."

 

Acantha is definitely going to get her but kicked xP

 

You did a good job with her though, better than me I think.

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Soooo happier stuff from me now! no more pulling your heart strings.

------------------------------

 

 She didnt like visitors very much. The blue Nekros had walked into her home without even knocking, he even acted like he was here to steal something, creeping around like he was! The osprey at her side made a odd beeping noise.

 

  “Its ok juliet,” She said in a soothing tone, “I wont let them take you back.” Turning her attention back through the vent, she watched the Nekros wander down the hallway, and a blur of black and red swoop through the door, giggling.

 

  “I bet who ever lives here is nice and warm like hot chocolate with cherry marshmallows!” The black and red nova exclaimed happily.

 

  “What do cherry marshmallows taste like?” The banshee asked turning to the osprey she had named Juliet. The osprey just floated there making osprey noises, which it tried to do as innocently as possible. “You never answer me.” She said sadly turning back to watch the Nova.

 

  “Maybe if i find the person Crowley’ll be so happy he’ll give me a hug!” The nova said giggling and practically skipped into another room. Narrowing her eyes the Banshee activated Silence and crept through the air vent with the osprey, Juliet hot on her trail. Reaching her destination the Banshee kicked the air vent away and jumped to the ground in front of the Nova. Though she tried to land gracefully she fell flat on her butt.

 

  “Dang, I tried to look cool again.” She said disappointedly, while getting up from the ground. The osprey floated down slowly looking, if an osprey could express emotion, embarrassed.

Edited by QuinnsWing
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The inscription feels like something Ajkrumen actually said during one of the stories...someone needs to go filtering through to see if it's an unconsciously inscribed quote of some kind...-puts my finger on my nose- not it. XP

 

It really is fitting and beautiful...I'll be damned if I'm not gonna have the project in the presence of the statue some time soon...

 

Edit: oh god I must respond with what little inspiration I have left today!

 

Skidding to a halt, NQ waved her arms in circles vascillating back and forth about to fall for a bit before she steadied herself. "Hiya!" Holding out her hand in a friendly manner the Nova was all for happiness and surprising new things. "What's your name? I'm Nova-Quinn but some people call me NQ!" Looking up at the Osprey, if anyone could see Nova-Quinn's face they would swear she was losing all oxygen in her lungs as her eyes widened in awe. "It's...ADORABLE!" The squee was enough to temporarily attract attention from Crowley in the distance, but he dismissed it as a steam pipe and continued his creeping trek.

 

"Where in the blasted frozen butt-**** is this Banshee?"

Edited by khimera
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