Make Me Laugh, And I'll Buy Your Rare 5 Mods For 80 Plat!

[The2ndLink]

A young man walks into a drugstore to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.

“Well,” the customer replies, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while, and she’s really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight’s ‘the night’. We’re having dinner with her parents, and then we’re going out. I’ve got a feeling I’m gonna get lucky after that. I'll take the small pack."

Later that day the young man is coming in again. "This time I'm gonna need the 12er pack, you see I've been talking to my friends and it seems my girlfriends mom is pretty hot. And rumor says she's @#&*. So I might score double today." He winks and leaves the store.

 

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. The atmosphere is cold. Nobody is talking. He just sits there, staring at his soup. His girlfriend leans over and whispers "If I knew you were that impolite I wouldn't have brought you".

 

Still staring at his soup he replies: If I knew your father is a pharmacist I wouldn't have come:"

[Goosmo]

 

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/b0032HF60M

 

[Darkmatt3r]

If you played League of Legends then this :3

[Punchedface]

Drew was waiting in line in the GE. When it was about his turn, a nun walked out of the room, distraught and in tears.

When he came in, he asked the doctor,"What was that about?"

"Oh, I told her she was 5 weeks pregnant", said Dr. Moore

"A pregnant nun? Really?"

"Oh, she's not; sure as hell cured her hiccups though."

[Bobsplosion]

A young man walks into a drugstore to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.

“Well,” the customer replies, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while, and she’s really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight’s ‘the night’. We’re having dinner with her parents, and then we’re going out. I’ve got a feeling I’m gonna get lucky after that. I'll take the small pack."

Later that day the young man is coming in again. "This time I'm gonna need the 12er pack, you see I've been talking to my friends and it seems my girlfriends mom is pretty hot. And rumor says she's @#&*. So I might score double today." He winks and leaves the store.

 

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. The atmosphere is cold. Nobody is talking. He just sits there, staring at his soup. His girlfriend leans over and whispers "If I knew you were that impolite I wouldn't have brought you".

 

Still staring at his soup he replies: If I knew your father is a pharmacist I wouldn't have come:"

  

Drew was waiting in line in the GE. When it was about his turn, a nun walked out of the room, distraught and in tears.

When he came in, he asked the doctor,"What was that about?"

"Oh, I told her she was 5 weeks pregnant", said Dr. Moore

"A pregnant nun? Really?"

"Oh, she's not; sure as hell cured her hiccups though."

We have 2 more winners.

It'll be about 8 hours until I get online, though.

[Seaverett]

Ayyyyy.

 

 

 

If you don't get what the funny thing about this dude, then.... I am forlorn.

 

Edit: Fixed photo lol

Edited December 12, 2013 by Seaverett

[Punchedface]

   We have 2 more winners.

It'll be about 8 hours until I get online, though.

 

Around 10 hours till I'll be able to be up again though.

Here's a freebie:

 

A middle aged man was doing his annual physical.

The doctor made a conclusion and told him that he has a worrying heart condition.

"Do you drink in excess?", asked the doctor

"No"

"Do you smoke or do drugs?"

"No"

"Are you sexually active?"

"Why, yes"

"Well, I'm afraid with a condition like this, you'll have to give up at least half your sex life."

"Which one, the looking half or the thinking half?"

[ConejoDeLaMuerte]

A son asks his dad if he can go out for the night. His father approves, on the condition that he will be back before 11:00 PM. At about 2:00 AM the son returns home, to find his furious dad still awake.

 

Dad: "Where have you been?! You're three hours late!"

Son: "I'm sorry about that, but I have had sex for the first time in my life."

Dad: "That's great! I'm proud of you son! Let's celebrate this. Sit down, I'll get a beer for you."

Son: "Well, I'd love to have a beer, but I'd rather not sit down at the moment."

Edited December 16, 2013 by ConejoDeLaMuerte

[Alfoldio]

Alright i think i got a winner here, its short but sweet.

 

What did the fish say when it swam into the wall... dam

[Bobsplosion]

Alright i think i got a winner here, its short but sweet.

 

What did the fish say when it swam into the wall... dam

How did you even dig up this topic?

[Urquiora]

after the little girl was done with her surgery she said "but doctor, im still in a wheelchair" and the doctor was like lol april fools