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Tenno Vs. Pie


darthdart
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Pie, in reality being an infinite transcendental number is totally at peace with itself and is thus completely unruffled by the puny Tenno who expire after eons of being ignored 

ahh but that's Pi, but a Pi flavored Pie would win hands down.

 

though technically it would be a never ending Pie :p

Edited by SchrodingersKitteh
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1. is the pie in a robot? YES go to 2. NO go to 3

2. pie dies

3. is the pie's intention to avoid being consumed. YES go to4 NO go to 5

4. tenno can not eat pie, pie wins go to 6

5. is the pie a bomb going to go off at sunset? YES go to 7 NO go to 8

6. valkyr gets pissed and murders pie

7. tenno leave a planet that is nearing sunset they stay in daylight never to find the illusive moonlit jadeleaf.

8. is the pie not listed above? YES go to 9. NO go to 1

9. IS the reader a hipster? Yes go to 10, NO go to 11

10. i like your scarf

11. you liar.

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Tenno eats pie.
Tenno becomes addicted to pie.
Tenno becomes fat.
Tenno can no longer do missions because he/she has became too fat.
Tenno spends all their remaining credits on pie.

Tenno becomes depressed. Eats because he/she is sad, and is sad because she/he eats.
Tenno is out of credits.
Tenno starts to get motivated.
"click"
begin workout montage.

8 months later.

Tenno is ready for action, however, Tenno sold his/her weapons for pie.
Tenno decides to bite the nail and go in with barehanded only.

So far so good.

Tenno has one room left to clear.

"chuck norris kick to the door sending it flying through the room killing the last 2 grineer".

Tenno starts to scavenge for credits.
Tenno stops...

he/she sees it...

one of the grineer...






was baking pie...

"no... it can't be..... When did the grineer get this sophisticated" ...

tenno leaves the room and heads straight for the extract.
"flicker"






....






"flicker"

Tenno: "NO NOT NOW"

Stalker "I AM YOUR RECKONING".
Begin epic battle.

Tenno is losing.
Tenno "S#&$ S#&$!! S#&$!!!".... (no more health orbs)

Tenno remembers about the pie...
Tenno sprints...

Tenno makes it to the pie room.
Tenno grabs pie.

"twaang, shhhhhhhhh, thunk"

Tenno looks down. arrow through chest.

Tenno turns around.

Stalker: "There is no salvation for your crime".
Tenno slowly looks at pie, smiles. "nom....".

"shhhhhhHHH SLICE".

Tenno has been cut in half from second arrow.

Stalker "Was it worth it Tenno... Was the pie worth it"

To answer your question... stalker wins..

 

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