Entari0 Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 This thread is to commemorate those (former) members of society that have rendered themselves incapable of reproducing, in a particularly foolish way. For example, The JATO Rocket Car URBAN LEGEND! The Arizona Highway Patrol were mystified when they came upon a pile of smoldering wreckage embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The metal debris resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it turned out to be the vaporized remains of an automobile. The make of the vehicle was unidentifiable at the scene. The folks in the lab finally figured out what it was, and pieced together the events that led up to its demise. It seems that a former Air Force sergeant had somehow got hold of a JATO (Jet Assisted Take-Off) unit. JATO units are solid fuel rockets used to give heavy military transport airplanes an extra push for take-off from short airfields. Dried desert lakebeds are the location of choice for breaking the world ground vehicle speed record. The sergeant took the JATO unit into the Arizona desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, accelerated to a high speed, and fired off the rocket. The facts, as best as could be determined, are as follows: The operator was driving a 1967 Chevy Impala. He ignited the JATO unit approximately 3.9 miles from the crash site. This was established by the location of a prominently scorched and melted strip of asphalt. The vehicle quickly reached a speed of between 250 and 300 mph and continued at that speed, under full power, for an additional 20-25 seconds. The soon-to-be pilot experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog-fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners. The Chevy remained on the straight highway for approximately 2.6 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied the brakes, completely melting them, blowing the tires, and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface. The vehicle then became airborne for an additional 1.3 miles, impacted the cliff face at a height of 125 feet, and left a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock. Most of the driver's remains were not recovered; however, small fragments of bone, teeth, and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel. Ironically a still-legible bumper sticker was found, reading "How do you like my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-S#&$." Found at http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1995-04.htmlPost your favorites! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Somedude1000 Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 I'm too stupid to do anything and have proven myself a fool various times, can i self nominate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imaru Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 I'm too stupid to do anything and have proven myself a fool various times, can i self nominate? Actively trying to get a Darwin Award is not recommended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Somedude1000 Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 (edited) Actively trying to get a Darwin Award is not recommended. Perhaps, but truth be told I haven't contributed anything to humanity, and have been told I hold no potential in anything various times. I've vexed a ton of people on the warframe forums alone, not to mention in real life... There is no loss in trying, but hey I'll nominate someone else as well, despite myself beign flawed; http://www.dailymail.co.uk/video/news/video-1091064/Selfie-boy-kicked-head-train-conductor.html Oh wait a minute you have to die to get one Edited October 8, 2014 by Somedude1000 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imaru Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 Oh wait a minute you have to die to get one No, you just need to remove yourself from the gene-pool in a sublimely idiotic fashion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nurmetya Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 Perhaps, but truth be told I haven't contributed anything to humanity, and have been told I hold no potential in anything various times. I've vexed a ton of people on the warframe forums alone, not to mention in real life... There is no loss in trying, but hey I'll nominate someone else as well, despite myself beign flawed; http://www.dailymail.co.uk/video/news/video-1091064/Selfie-boy-kicked-head-train-conductor.html Oh wait a minute you have to die to get one Saw that on the news here in Ottawa, said train conductor was also charged with assault and subsequently lost his job the kid did nothing wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Somedude1000 Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 (edited) Saw that on the news here in Ottawa, said train conductor was also charged with assault and subsequently lost his job the kid did nothing wrong. Even worse? The kid who would have been impaled by the train got 250, 000 dollars from that video http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2610456/Now-whos-dummy-Student-internet-sensation-kicked-head-train-driver-set-earn-250-000-YouTube-video-receives-23-million-views.html I don't wanna live anymore... Edited October 8, 2014 by Somedude1000 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
izzatuw Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 Someone in Asia takes attempts to take a selfie with a real gun. Instead of taking the picture, said human pulls the trigger Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirty_H4rr1 Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 Here's another: (not a real one, but the topic reminded me of this) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lagomorf Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 When I read teh topic on the forums I thought there would be the compilation of Warframe stupidiest deaths.I was diappointed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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