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Warframe Writing Contest! [Prizes Available!]


FiveHours
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The rules say we can post it here, right? Well, since it doesn't seem too late I'll post mine here for everyone to enjoy. 

I'm pretty sure I didn't hit the 1500 word limit even if it's a rather lengthy story. 

 

EDIT: Spoilered for convenience

 

Clem

 

 

Life was simple. All Clem had to do was follow orders of Queens. Where Queens commanded Clem to go, Clem went. Clem would ride in Galleon, then ride in shuttle, then land on planet. On planet, all Clem had to do was point Grakata and shoot. In fact, sometimes all Clem had to do was point Grakata; Clem liked it best when that happened. It saved Clem time from cleaning armor afterwards.

 

For Clem, Grakata was most important. Commanders always said Queens were most important, but Clem knew different. If rebel resisted, Grakata. If Corpus attacked, Grakata. If Infested charged, Grakata. Grakata solved problems much faster than Queens did, and Clem thanked Grakata for more things that happened than Queens. Clem never said anything to brothers or sisters, though; Clem knew what happened to Grineer that were not faithful.

 

Being Grineer meant Clem feared nothing. There was one exception; when Clem would hear about Tenno activity in nearby sectors, Clem definitely felt fear. Tenno were dangerous to Grineer’s health, and Clem avoided contact with them as much as he could. Clem had seen only messy results when Grineer would encounter Tenno.

 

Clem did not understand Tenno. Tenno usually fought everyone, but sometimes Clem heard Tenno were fighting for Grineer against Corpus. Other times, Clem heard Tenno were fighting for Corpus against Grineer. Where Tenno appeared, fighting always followed.  To Clem, Tenno seemed to only have one loyalty: war. Clem secretly admired Tenno for that, even if Clem feared them.

 

One day, Revelation happened.

 

Clem’s Galleon was in orbit around Saturn, and Clem was patrolling in Galleon. Galleon captain suddenly ordered Grineer to battle stations, as there was unresponsive vessel floating nearby. However, before Clem could move, alarms sounded. Unresponsive vessel had changed to a collision course with Clem’s Galleon, and sensors had detected heavy Infestation on vessel.

 

Galleon had no time to evade. Whole ship shook as enemy vessel crashed into Galleon. Before long, Clem’s radio filled with reports of Infested taking over Galleon. Gunfire and messed-up orders filled Clem’s ears, and screams of dying Grineer nearly made Clem lose focus. Concentrating, Clem joined nearest Grineer squad and headed with them to hangar where Infestation boarded.

 

As Grineer passed through one room, Clem nearly tripped over fallen grate. Not taking notice, Clem redoubled speed to catch up to squad. When Clem caught up, squad leader stopped, and pointed at door in front of him. Squad leader said Infested were on other side. Whole squad readied weapons and moved forward.

 

Door opened, and Infested attacked. Shrieking and screaming and roaring, Infested charged and leapt and crawled towards Grineer. Grineer immediately opened fire, and bullets from Hinds and Grakatas and Gorgons ripped through Infested. Clem roared as Grakata fired, trusting Grakata to keep Clem alive.

 

Many infested died, but squad took heavy losses while Infested did not stop coming. Soon only Clem, squad leader, and two Lancers lived. Squad leader ordered to retreat, but too late: big Infested reached out and grabbed squad leader from in front of Clem, then pulled squad leader into horde of charging Infested. Clem and other two Lancers fell back while firing Grakatas, but one Lancer was killed by leaping Infested while other Lancer fell to exploding Infested. Clem was left alone with Grakata. Clem pointed Grakata at nearby charging infested, and pulled trigger, but no bullets came out. Grakata had no more ammo, and Clem had no time to reload.

 

Grakata had failed Clem.

 

As charging infested closed in, Clem’s eyes closed. Clem’s only regret was that Grakata could not save Clem. Clem would have been happy if, while Clem was dying, Grakata could be used to still shoot and kill enemies. Since Grakata had no ammo, Clem could not die happy.

 

Suddenly, Clem heard Grakata. Bullets tore through charging Infested in front of Clem, but Grakata in Clem’s hands did not move. Clem opened eyes and saw figures slashing and shooting and destroying Infested all around. Clem froze, because Clem knew figures.

 

Tenno.

 

Clem watched in amazement as Tenno sliced up Infested and sent Infested parts flying everywhere. One Tenno was pulling Infested all around and shooting them. Another was stomping ground hard enough to make enemies fall in slow-motion. Clem knew there was third Tenno, but couldn’t see what Tenno was doing. All Clem could see was infested falling apart as if invisible blade was attacking them.

 

Fourth Tenno was Tenno that caught Clem’s attention. Tenno was not using powers, but was using very interesting weapon. In Tenno’s hands was very blue and very shiny Grakata that killed many Infested. Clem stared in awe at Tenno’s Grakata; Tenno Grakata never seemed to run out of bullets. Clem then remembered Clem’s Grakata was still empty. Clem hit helmet; now was not time to be scared. Tenno were fighting Infested, not Grineer. If Clem fought beside Tenno, maybe Tenno would not kill Clem. Clem quickly reloaded Grakata and joined Tenno in fighting.

 

As Clem fired Grakata beside Tenno, there was ship-shaking roar. Seconds later, armored Infested charged into room and sent Clem and Tenno flying backwards. There was only one, but Clem knew armored Infested was very tough. Clem fired Grakata at armored Infested, and Tenno fired with Clem. Armored Infested shot spikes at Clem and Tenno, and Clem flinched as one dug into Clem’s shoulder armor.

 

To Clem’s surprise, Tenno with Grakata suddenly fell over in pain and dropped Grakata. Other Tenno immediately rushed over to fallen Tenno, and Clem was about to help when armored Infested started moving again. Armored Infested was standing on two legs, and Clem saw that underneath, armored infested had no armor. Clem raised Grakata and pulled trigger, but no bullets came out. Clem cursed; Clem had forgotten to reload, and Tenno did not see what armored Infested was doing.

 

In that moment, Clem saw fallen Tenno’s Grakata. Without stopping, Clem ran towards Tenno and dove for shiny Grakata. As armored Infested started to bring its front legs down, Clem gripped shiny Grakata in right hand, pointed it at armored infested, and pulled trigger.

 

Bullets slammed into soft part of armored Infested, and armored Infested curled over in pain. Clem lay on the floor, shiny Grakata still pointed at target. Armored Infested turned towards Clem, and Clem cursed again. Clem had two Grakata, but both were empty. There was no way Clem could reload if armored Infested charged.

 

Suddenly, bright light flashed from where the Tenno were gathered, and Clem saw fourth Tenno, who owned shiny Grakata, pull sword of light out of mid-air. Fourth Tenno raised light sword and slashed at armored Infested from afar. Waves of light cut into armored Infested, and before long, armored Infested fell dead.  

 

Tenno turned to look at Clem, and Clem froze. If Tenno attacked, there was no way Clem could beat them.

 

Then, Clem remembered that he had fired shiny Grakata with one hand. In Clem’s hands were now two Grakata, and Clem knew how to use them.

 

Tenno moved toward Clem, and Clem pointed two Grakata…

 

---

 

The Steel Meridian leader looked up from the report. The defecting Grineer Lancer that had submitted the report looked back at her eagerly.

 

“An interesting tale, though slightly difficult to read with the lack of articles.” Standing up from her seat, she motioned to the guards to be at ready.

 

“However, we need better proof. If you are truly Clem,” she said, pointing at the Grineer soldier, “how will you prove it to us?”

 

The Lancer grinned, and reached down into the container at his side. The Steel Meridian leader stiffened as she saw the shape of a Grakata, and her hand shot to the Marelok on her hip. Before she could fire, the Lancer whipped out two Grakatas and started firing. Shouts of surprise echoed through the room, mingling with the noise of Grakatas being fired in bursts and the roaring laughter of the Lancer. The Meridian leader started in shock as the Marelok was ripped out of her grip.

 

The firing abruptly stopped, and unharmed Meridian operatives scrambled to recover their weapons as the Lancer who called himself Clem stood alone with his weapons raised high. In his right hand was a normal Grakata, and in his left was a metallic blue prisma-coated version. The Meridian leader shot a glare at the Lancer, but her uncovered eye twinkled with amusement.

 

“I am Clem,” the Lancer announced proudly. “And this… is Two Grakata.”

 

The Meridian leader put her hands on her belt and nodded. “Well then, Clem, welcome to Steel Meridian.” Clem’s grin broadened, and he put his weapons down.

 

The leader moved over to where her Marelok had fallen. Picking it up, she inspected it with annoyance, then tossed it at Clem.

 

“Now, for your first mission, you owe me a new Marelok.” 

 

TWOOOO GRAKATA!

*7 hour drum roll commences*

Do you have the winner?

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Alright, got it finished, I can only hope I did well. Lengthy, but word count is 140 under word limit.

 

Knowledge

Knowledge is everything. That’s what he believed, without knowledge, what is a person? True, they may be living, but other than surviving sacks of meat, how can they exist? It was this reason that he pitied the Grineer and held at least some respect for the Corpus. This Tenno, however, needs more than just the knowledge of the present. He must also possess the knowledge of the past: The Golden Age and The Collapse. The gap caused by the Tenno’s collective Long Sleep troubled him to no end, and he sought to mend this gap permanently, for himself and all Tenno.

 

It is for this reason he has come to an ancient Derelict, once a marvel of Orokin engineering, it is now home to the worst of plagues: The Technocyte. It has twisted the white phosphorescent trees that were housed here into large knots, roots and branches that expand not only through the ship, but also out of it. It is here that the Technocyte has made its home, and here the Tenno hopes to find codices, data packets, anything that could point to his past.

 

He wandered through the halls, searching every terminal he could find that still functioned. He sensed their presence before he saw them, and turned to find a group of Infested heading his way. Standard formation: Chargers and Runners up front, with Mutalists in the middle and a lumbering Ancient in the back. He wasted no time in drawing the twin Magnus pistols from the bony ridges on his thighs. Gleaming in black, crimson and silver, he opened fire on the “mouth” of the Ancient, crippling it and keeping it back. He then moved his focus to the charging group, and thrust his left fist toward the one in the middle. Despite never reaching his foe, the charger flew back as it was hit with the force of a truck, with the soul of the twisted being shooting out of the physical body, hitting the ground beside the others, knocking them off their feet with the concussive force of the soul’s Void charged impact.

 

The Nekros then finished off the few that survived before finding himself covered in a swarm of nanites. With his pistols out of ammo, he holstered them as he quickly rolled out of the cloud, drawing his Ether Reaper scythe, jumping the moment he got to his feet and brought the head of the blade right down the middle of the unfortunate Moa. That’s when he heard the Ancient give an ugly, gurgling roar. It charged towards him, glowing a sickly green as toxic fluids flowed through its body. He readied into a guard stance, certain of the Ancient’s next move, and when its small arm came swiping down, he was ready. As it made contact with his blade, he channeled a small burst of Void energy into the weapon, stunning the Ancient as it recoiled in pain. He took this moment to strike, and bisected it horizontally, ending its threat.

 

Further on, the Tenno found a collection of data packets through terminals. Excellent, he thought. As he placed the packets into digital storage for later, he heard gunshots. The sound was both ballistic and crude. Couldn’t be Corpus weaponry, nor was it Tenno. That left only one option: The Grineer. He moved towards the source, perching himself on a ledge as he viewed the scene below. A full squad of Grineer marines had boarded the derelict, likely through one of their dropships. They were in the middle of defending themselves from the Infested, and they looked like they were winning. He surveyed their troop count: two Scorches and Scorpions, four Troopers, eighteen Lancers and… yes, a single Ballista. That Ballista sniper would be a problem, and so he drew a single Magnus, aiming for her head as she shot Mutalist Ospreys out of the sky. Finding the pattern of the Trooper’s shots, he fired at the same time as their shotguns, concealing his presence as he took her out of the equation.

 

He waited as they finished up their battle, the Grineer appearing victorious, with no losses except for the one he had caused. He smiled wickedly, now was the time. Sentient beings were always more fun to destroy than Infested or Corrupted, even if they were just Grineer. He dropped down amidst the disappearing corpses of Infested flesh, startling most of the squad in front of him. The words “Tenno skoom! Attaf!” rang out from one of the Scorpions, and they opened fire on the interloper. His shields flared as their shots found their mark, and the Scorches began moving in. He drew his scythe and cut them to pieces. Then he switched to his pistols and targeted the Troopers, their Sobek shotguns would be too dangerous to endure for what he had in mind. Shots rang out, ending with two down, and shields at half strength. He thrust his fist twice, aiming for the other two, sending their bodies to plummet to their deaths at the bottom of the massive chamber as their souls careened through the air. His shields nearly gone, he suddenly found two grapple hooks attached to his ankles, and he was swept off his feet, slowly being dragged to the two Scorpions that had him hooked. The Lancers took this time to reload their Grakatas, but if only they could see his smile. As he was unhooked, they both took a single swing at him with their machetes, finishing off his shields. Before they could connect their blades with him anymore, he rolled backwards, gaining distance and getting himself back onto his feet, before firing a single shot from each pistol into the unprotected heads of his would be mutilators. With nothing left but the Lancers, he simply stood there as they began their barrage anew, flinching with each bullet impact. This was good, the pain was good. For him, the pain became energy to fuel his Void abilities. He counted down the seconds until their mags ran dry, while doing so, he fired sloppily into the crowd, exaggerating hits to make it seem like he was taking more damage than he could endure. His smile grew wider at their looks of confidence, despite the fact that he had taken four of them out with the bullets he had left in each pistol before they ran dry.

 

3 seconds of fire left and his health was significantly drained, though not enough to seriously danger his life. Two… One. Each Lancer began the process of reloading, and now it was the Tenno’s turn. He waved his hand out in front of him as he desecrated the corpses around him, their bodies transmuting into various objects: ammo, credits, but most importantly, each body had a portion of it turned into a red energy that flowed back to its creator. Healing energy that rejuvenated him, bringing him closer to life and away from the brink of death. His visible wounds cleaned and sealed themselves, shattering a portion of the confidence his enemies had mustered. His voice, just a raspy whisper, then carried a single word to each Grineer: “Cower.” He then raised his arms and sent a radial blast of mental energy that filled each of them with uncontrollable fear. To their minds, he was no longer a Tenno, but a monster that could sire a brood of a hundred nightmares. Terror filled their expressions, and he cackled as he raised his arms in a ritual, raising shadows of the enemies he has killed forth, both Grineer and Infested, controlled by invisible strings from his fingertips. He pointed forward, and each shadow charged to the remaining Grineer. Their confidence utterly destroyed, with fear dominating their very psyche, they ran from their former comrades and monsters. He reveled in their crushing defeat, and watched as his shadows finished off what little remained of the Grineer forces. Smiling to himself at the joy of his foes’ utter destruction, he stalked off further into the derelict, continuing his search for information from the past. He is the Tenno known as Dalimir, of the Oblitus Ensis Clan… And he will know all.

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Well, judgements have been made, stories ranked, Powerades drunk, and now I shall reveal the winners.

But, before I do so, I must extend a hand to anyone who joined in, please do not take it to heart if you did not win anything, because I will be hosting more contests on a weekly basis, albeit for less grand prizes. Individual pros and cons that are notable will be displayed for the top three stories, as well as honourable mentions. Any others will receive comments in their inbox. All winners can, with their permission, have their stories put in the OP.

In third place...

Stand Tenno ~ Evanescent

This was a hard one to put in third, but what made this stand out from the rest was its raw nature of writing, using very brief clauses and often repetitive yet effective words to hammer home a point and have an accentuated effect on the reader.

However, I feel that this was the downfall of the piece, too, among other things. Repetition can work, so can short clauses, but moderation must be known. Through the whole scene, although it was visual, there was a constant reminder that the rain was ceaseless, or that the Tenno had experienced "frozen years". It made the story a bit dull towards the end, although I must applaud the very grand and epic language used as a finale, with the incredible last line to finish it.

The length can also be adjusted. I would say that the story could have had about a quarter taken out, as I think that that certain sequences describing the oncoming enemy was a bit dragged out.

Essentially:

+Effective use of second person.

+Raw, passionate style

+Dramatic conclusion and descriptions

+Good use of short clauses

+Clear contrast between conflict and resolution

+/- Repetition of words and clauses

-Story was a tad long

In second place...

Eyes ~ ROSING

Again, I had a bit of a hard time deciding between this and first place. This came down by a very slight margin. One of my IRL assistant judges actually nominated this as first place, but a majority vote between me and the third other put this in second.

Let's start with what I found good.

The conversation. I found this as no surprise, having read The First of Them, but yes, the conversation was excellent, engaging to read and fresh. It managed to turn the mood from quite light hearted to suspenseful, then into dramatic, then back to a very easy mood almost seamlessly. The joke at the start brought a physical smile to my face, which I found myself surprised at.

Some foreshadowing was put in too, in the form of the cloth covering the sword. Definitely something to note.

I think the reason this came second comes down to personal preference. There is no single tangible thing I can pick up on when trying to critique this piece, which is extraordinarily difficult, to some surprise. There is a slight nick in my thought pattern, something I can't really tell.

The closest thing I can say is that there isn't much description of the stranger other than his eyes, perhaps too much emphasis, and not enough other body language. I understand it was an important factor in his description, but there has to be some other analysis of the environment. I've got no idea what type of atmosphere to place these characters in, do I?

Essentially:

+Excellent description of characters

+Indulging conversation

+Fluid changing of mood and pacing

+Definite conflict and resolution

-Lack of environmental description

And, last of all, but evidently not the least, in 1st place...

Last Breath ~ Achaix

What I enjoy in a short story. Length of description is relevant to the pacing, as well as whatever sort of sequence you are writing at the time. Everything fits, and the metaphors and similes all are well executed, especially when the Ember asked with her eyes, or when the Stalker notches Volt's thought. Very well done.

The story is also well written in its tone and purpose. It feels like it is showing us a story just as much as telling us one. I felt with the Stalker at the end and the Tenno at the start, just through how the perspective was shown and how the different characters felt or acted on something.

I give great praise to this story, and I think that it deserves its place in 1st, as my assistant judges would agree.

My last thanks go out to everybody who contributed, but there were a few stories that stood out to me, even if they didn't achieve a placing.

Honorable Mentions

Loxtus, the Keymaster ~ thelastpwnr99 -

A great tale on the history and the experience of a Tenno, and about the Great Collapse. Well told, with a very emotional twist.

Getaways ~ MageMeat -

Nicely done, if not a bit brief. A (very) short story, this one takes us into the experience of a teenager and his younger brother and an unknown terror in the Orokin Tower. Concise description, but the story's length leaves us on too much of a cliffhanger, which I personally know the risk of all too well.

Well done to all who participated, remember that another contest will appear next week on Friday 17th of July!

~ FiveHours

Edited by FiveHours
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That was fun.

I promise that if I participate in the next one, I won't do it in an hour.

 

I think my greatest fail in Getaways was the fact that I wasn't able to imply that the growl behind the perspective character was his brother, warped by the Void. There was also the utter lack of implication that they were, in fact, thrown into the Void in an attempt to create Tenno.

Thus, the potential horror was lost. Always room for improvement next time.

Edited by MageMeat
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That was fun.

I promise that if I participate in the next one, I won't do it in an hour.

I think my greatest fail in Getaways was the fact that I wasn't able to imply that the growl behind the perspective character was his brother, warped by the Void. There was also the lack of implication that they were, in fact, thrown into the Void in an attempt to create Tenno.

Thus, the potential horror was lost. Always room for improvement next time.

Of course! I always say, and always will say, that the biggest part in writing is the re-writing.

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That was fun.

I promise that if I participate in the next one, I won't do it in an hour.

 

I think my greatest fail in Getaways was the fact that I wasn't able to imply that the growl behind the perspective character was his brother, warped by the Void. There was also the utter lack of implication that they were, in fact, thrown into the Void in an attempt to create Tenno.

Thus, the potential horror was lost. Always room for improvement next time.

 

The excitement made me rush as well, Mage.  You and I both went "omg writing for monies" and had at it.  I don't know about Getaways, but I had the idea for Loxtus waaaay back when.  I did not do much re-writing, to be honest, and I had a few ideas I regretted not implementing.  We could both stand to work on that a bit more, haha!

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This makes me want to read Last Breath, and for that matter all the others! I didn't see the actual writing, is it possible you can put up all the entries in the OP or another thread?

GG all! I can't wait to read everyone else's that I haven't yet!

And lol, my (nonexistant) scenery descriptions. The feedback is greatest prize I can receive, Five, thank you!

Edited by ROSING
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For a hobby, OP takes the whole critiquing of stories thing very seriously :P

 

I entered the contest to write, not to win. Clem was an experiment in writing to see whether I could construct a reasonably coherent story without using "a" or "the" during the narrative, and it also relied very heavily on knowing the memetic figure of Clem within the community.

 

I do have to thank OP for getting me off my lazy butt in order to try and write something, though. 

 

Congrats to all the winners and participants! Though I wish I could have read the other stories, from the critiques they sound like great works. 

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This makes me want to read Last Breath, and for that matter all the others! I didn't see the actual writing, is it possible you can put up all the entries in the OP or another thread?

GG all! I can't wait to read everyone else's that I haven't yet!

And lol, my (nonexistant) scenery descriptions. The feedback is greatest prize I can receive, Five, thank you!

 

 

You're the first on my list, just hang on :)

 

Five, I wouldn't mind if you wish to add those to the front for all to see.  Or if you're just going to leave this thread alone now, I will gladly send you mine, ROSING!

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Five, I wouldn't mind if you wish to add those to the front for all to see.  Or if you're just going to leave this thread alone now, I will gladly send you mine, ROSING!

 

Damn Achaix, that's intense.

 

And pls do!

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