JetPhox Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Some brief backstory for this tale: I live just outside a major city, right where the woods start. I'm also a recreationist historical fencer (German Longsword), so I have a number of two-handed European swords laying about my house. Most of them are blunt or made of wood, but I have one sharp sword I use to practice cutting things. Cutting the air and cutting an object are, as you might expect, very different, and it's a critical part of recreating techniques from old fighting manuals. My sharp sword lays against a corner very close to my bed, mostly because I like the asthetics of keeping it there. Yesterday, I groggily entered back into the realm of the concious, hearing chirping and squarbling outside. Birds often take up residence in the tree outside my bedroom window, so birdsong isn't an unusual thing for me to wake up to. Yet something in the back of my brain told me, in this haze of sleep, that something was wrong. *PWEE* I blinked. The next thing I know, I'm up out of bed, my heart is slamming its way along inside my ribcage, and I'm lunging out of bed to grab for the handle of my sword. *Pweeeeee.* Wait, the Stalker doesn't sound like that. And this isn't Warframe. And I'm not a Tenno. And that is not a nikana I'm holding. Sure enough, some species of lark or finch had taken up residence in the tree outside my bedroom, and that morning, they decided to do their best Stalker impersonation. I glared at them a while once I had my clothes on. Bastards. I've been playing Warframe too much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyborg-Rox Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Best read ever. 10/10 -Like Stalker with guns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziegrif Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 (edited) Next you'll start freaking out over broken light fixtures. Then you'll have a strange urge to become a farmer and buy a tractor. Edited August 5, 2015 by Ziegrif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
styxonfire Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Next you'll start freaking out over broken light fixtures. Then you'll have a strange urge to become a farmer and buy a tractor. The moment I read this, my lights started flickering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
--GOOLOO_GOOLOO_GOOLOO-- Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 I found baby sparrows in my grill and the mother hasn't returned to feed them. So I've been trying to feed them seeds through an eyedropper and giving them water. "You shouldn't mess with nature." "The mother will never come back if a human touches them" My counter to that is that we are "nature" and the second saying is a myth. Off-topic, but it relates to the thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JetPhox Posted August 5, 2015 Author Share Posted August 5, 2015 Next you'll start freaking out over broken light fixtures. Then you'll have a strange urge to become a farmer and buy a tractor. I already do have the urge to move to Prince Edward Island. S#&$. D: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zachatoo Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Good laugh, thank you good sir for posting this. 11/10 would read again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CruelCrow Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 I found baby sparrows in my grill and the mother hasn't returned to feed them. So I've been trying to feed them seeds through an eyedropper and giving them water. "You shouldn't mess with nature." "The mother will never come back if a human touches them" My counter to that is that we are "nature" and the second saying is a myth. Off-topic, but it relates to the thread. They're probably kinda doomed though no matter what unless the mother comes back :/ They learn how to fly by being pushed out of the nest, they need constant food, protection... Nice efforts though :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalvorax Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Some brief backstory for this tale: I live just outside a major city, right where the woods start. I'm also a recreationist historical fencer (German Longsword), so I have a number of two-handed European swords laying about my house. Most of them are blunt or made of wood, but I have one sharp sword I use to practice cutting things. Cutting the air and cutting an object are, as you might expect, very different, and it's a critical part of recreating techniques from old fighting manuals. My sharp sword lays against a corner very close to my bed, mostly because I like the asthetics of keeping it there. Yesterday, I groggily entered back into the realm of the concious, hearing chirping and squarbling outside. Birds often take up residence in the tree outside my bedroom window, so birdsong isn't an unusual thing for me to wake up to. Yet something in the back of my brain told me, in this haze of sleep, that something was wrong. *PWEE* I blinked. The next thing I know, I'm up out of bed, my heart is slamming its way along inside my ribcage, and I'm lunging out of bed to grab for the handle of my sword. *Pweeeeee.* Wait, the Stalker doesn't sound like that. And this isn't Warframe. And I'm not a Tenno. And that is not a nikana I'm holding. Sure enough, some species of lark or finch had taken up residence in the tree outside my bedroom, and that morning, they decided to do their best Stalker impersonation. I glared at them a while once I had my clothes on. Bastards. I've been playing Warframe too much. you know your playing warframe so much....that nature is trolling you :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MetroidHunter26 Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Next you'll start freaking out over broken light fixtures. Not gonna lie every time lights flicker I twitch a bit and look around only to facepalm and realize that I'm not in game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laucivol Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Yes, ran into this sort of moment a few times, though wake up quick enough that I don't have the blade (or generic weapon, cleavers anyone?) in hand. That said, haven't ran into the Stalker in ages. Starting to miss him. I do hope he's okay! (Stockholm syndrome, >.>) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JetPhox Posted August 6, 2015 Author Share Posted August 6, 2015 Feels like I was reading a book lol , nice story thanks for sharing. I am an aspiring writer. It's good to see that it comes through. Thanks :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KiteoHatto Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 So, you are larper ? That stuff looks super fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neah Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts