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The {WF} Rebecca Theory (Based off of The Cuil Theory)

oOSinox

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oOSinox

oOSinox

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Just in case it's not clear *This*Is*A*Joke*Post* so do not take any of it seriously

Let's Make The Rebecca A unit of measurement 

1 Rebecca: If you ask me for a noggle and I give you a Trinity Prime part.

2 Rebeccas: If you ask me for a noggle but it turns out I don't really exist. Where I was originally standing, a picture of The Lotus rests on the ground.

3 Rebeccas: You awake as a noggle. You start yelling, only The Red Liquid flies from your lips. Your Liset is in sepia.

4 Rebeccas: Why are we speaking Orokin? A Grineer Maniac cries softly as he cradles a young hyekka. Your Orokin grandfather stares at you as the Hyekka falls apart into Rare mod drops. You look down only to see me with formas for eyes, I am singing the song that gives birth to the Origin System.

5 Rebeccas:   You ask for a noggle, I give you a noggle. You raise it to your lips and take a bite. Your eye twitches involuntarily. Across the dojo a father of three falls down the stairs. You swallow and look down at the noggle in your hands. I give you a noggle. You swallow and look down at the noggle in your hands. You cannot swallow. There are young Tenno at the top of the stairs. A noggle shifts uneasily under the shelf. I give you a noggle. You look at my face, and I am pleading with you. The Tenno are crying now. You raise the noggle to your lips, tears stream down your face as you purchase another noggle with a 75% p discount. I give you a noggle. You are on your knees. You plead with me to go across my dojo. I hear only Tenno laughter. I give you a noggle. You are screaming as you fall down the stairs. I am your tenno. You cannot see anything. You take a bite of the noggle. The metal rushes up to meet you. You awake with a start in your own liset. Your eye twitches involuntarily. I give you a noggle. As you kill me, I do not make a sound. I give you a noggle.

6 Rebeccas: You ask me for a noggle. My attempt to reciprocate is cut brutally short as my Warframe experiences a sudden lack of electrons. Across a variety of hidden dimensions you are dismayed. Baro Ki'teer hands me a mod, but it slips through my fingers. I am reborn as a Kavat. You disapprove. A crack echoes through the Origin System in defiance of conventional physics as cosmological background noise shifts from randomness to a perfect. A Flat. Tenno everywhere stop what they are doing and hum along in perfect pitch with the background radiation. Arids fall from the sky as the sun engulfs the earth. You hesitate momentarily before allowing yourself to assume the locus of all knowledge. Entropy crumbles as you peruse the information contained within the Origin System. A small factory in Ceres ceases to exist. You stumble under the weight of everythingness, Your mouth opens up to cry out, and collapses around your body before blinking you out of the spatial plane. You exist only within The Void dimension. The fountainhead of all knowledge rolls along the ground and collides with a kubrow. My head tastes sideways as spacetime is reestablished, you blink back into the corporeal world disoriented, only for me to hand you a noggle as my body collapses under the strain of reconstitution. The Origin System has reasserted itself. A particular small Kubrow is fed Neurodes for the rest of its unnatural life. You die in a freak accident moments later, and your soul works at the Corpus Board of Directors for the Jupiter Segment. You disapprove. Your disapproval sends ripples through the inter-dimensional Void between life and death. A small Tenno begins to cry as he walks toward the stairway where his Orokin daddy stands.

7 Rebeccas:  I give you a noggle. The Origin System is engulfed within itself. A ship advertising Plastids drives by a Sunika. It disapproves. An unnatural force reverses Earth's gravity. You ask for a noggle. I reciprocate with a mildly convulsing raw Potato. You disapprove. Your disapproval releases a cosmic shift in the Void realm between birth and life. You ask for a noggle. A certain small Kubrow feasts on a dead grineer for the rest of its unnatural, eternal endurance. Your constant disapproval sends silence through everything. A contrived Infested creature becomes omnipotent. You ask for a noggle. I give you a noggle your warframe suit becomes an unsettled blob of nothingness, then divides by three. The Sunika barks. The Origin System realigns itself. You, the Sunika, and the noggle disapprove. This condemnation stops the realignment. The Sun freezes over. A Desert Skate is launched into the unoccupied existence between space and time with a specific noggle. You ask for a noggle. I give you a noggle. It screams as you lift it to your face. You laugh maniacally as I plead with you. You devour the noggle as it pleads for mercy. I disapprove and condemn you to an eternity in a certain Void realm where a certain Desert Skate and its specific noggle are located. Corpus Board of Directors disapproves of my irrational decision. You are locked away and are fed noggles for the rest of your natural existence. An uncommon mod refuses to change during the process of transfusion. You die in a freak accident. A certain Neural Sensor lives the rest of its life in a comatose state. Your soul disapproves. Down the street a Tenno cries as a noggle gets stuck in, and climbs back up, her esophagus. You ask again for a noggle. I refuse to reciprocate. You demand a Grineer Exocutioner. I remind you harshly that this is the New Loka Order. Grineer no longer exist. Only Sunikas. Your name is written on a list of sins. Blasphemy. You ask for a noggle. The comatose Neural Sensor vanquishes your soul from this System. Realignment occurs. You beg for a noggle. A certain Sunika's name is written on an obelisk in Mars. Mumble. Peasants worship the obelisk. Your soulless corpse partakes in the festivity. Noggles are banned Universally. The Sun implodes. All planets cease to have ever existed. Mercury. Venus. Earth. Mars. Jupiter. Saturn. Uranus. Neptune. Phobos is the only mass in existence. Conveniently, you are on vacation here. Rebecca's need for noggles re-establishes space-time. Earth is recreated under her intergalactic rule. Noggles are her army. You wake up. Infested. Infested everywhere. Your Second Dream rushes to meet you. You are kidnapped. You ask for a noggle. They hand you an ammo drum. Tehe.

Edit: I have now added this post to both r/Warframe and r/Memeframe so feel free to check them out

also go share this if you want [DE]Rebecca to see.

Edited by oOSinox
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