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[Archive] Of Ash And Fire - Original Thread

SirNerdsAlot5

By SirNerdsAlot5,
in Role Playing

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Jeahanne

Jeahanne

Posted
Posted

By the way, a continuation of my last post will be up "soon". Probably tomorrow when it gets properly proofread and edited. (This is the second time I've entirely scrapped it and started it over... so yeah.)

 

Anyway, "soon". Until then, more stuff to read? Please? :D

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DraikoHunter

DraikoHunter

Posted
Posted (edited)

By the way, a continuation of my last post will be up "soon". Probably tomorrow when it gets properly proofread and edited. (This is the second time I've entirely scrapped it and started it over... so yeah.)

 

Anyway, "soon". Until then, more stuff to read? Please? :D

I just posted my characters reaction to Kris's devastation. You can read that if you want :D

 

OH I THOUGHT OF A NAME FOR MY VALKYR! Ready? Her name is *drum roll* Vulcana. Eh?, eh? what do you think?

 

EDIT: Since i got no feedback or critique on my first story i assume it was good? Or so horrible that you couldn't even talk about it?

Edited by DraikoHunter
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bejuizb

bejuizb

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Posted

Bejuizb, I was afraid to read it since you said anyone who's been reading your stuff shouldn't open it D:

Ah lol. I thought Viking was the only one here who was reading my stuff. Well damn. Now this is gonna bug me so much. I have it written, but no one to review it. Sigh

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065tdsa

065tdsa

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In the meanwhile, Akinos's ought to get a life of his own. Besides, i guess someone has got to deal with our second last enemy.

---

 

Akinos sneaked around in a small corpus station floating off the edge of Jupiter's atmosphere. It was a small one, and was pretty much out of crewmen before Akinos came to finish the job. An easy mission. Intriguingly easy, as far as Shade was concerned.

 

-I have two questions about this-the Sentinel said-First, why haven't we finished this yet?

 

-Because i don't feel like it-Akinos said, as he drew his Dread, and put an arrow into an unsuspecting crewman.

 

-Second, why do we want to catch the Zanuka Harvester, alive?

 

-Is it that obvious?-Akinos asked.

 

-We are in Jupiter, sitting on top of a large, open and empty container, big enough to hold a Jackal. And you brought the Machete wraith. You don't even like that thing, so yeah, it's obvious you want to provoke Alad V into sending the Harvester, and then put it into this box. I am just not clear what you expect to gain from kidnapping a proxy, even if it is powerful. Since it's based off of warframe components, there truly is no point to scrap it for parts. And it's not rare enough to be a bargaining chip.

 

-You'll have to sharpen up that psychology you have been working on, if you haven't deduced this much yet-Akinos replied- but Alad really likes that robot. To put it simply, he likes that robot as much as you like yourself. Well, not that much, but close enough.

 

-But that's... Well, i actually found some files, but they aren't pretty AT ALL...-Shade said quickly-In fact, deleting... Done. Marking those as "do-not-open, EVER".

 

-Sometimes i wish i could delete that S#&$ off my brain...-Akinos commented. Then he looked up. A transmission was coming, and it was the one he waited for.

 

Oh Tenno, you have been a naughty little Betrayer! he heard the voice of Alad V say, just as he recognized it from the Gravidus Dilemma. Did you really think your support for the Grineer would go unnoticed?

 

Then, a fair distance away, it appeared, right out of Invisibility. It was a Zanuka prototype, just as Akinos had seen it in the files. However, it was colored white, instead of the green tones the standard one had.

 

Akinos dropped down to the ground, right in front of the container, preparing for the initiation, which came immediately, in form of a deadly rocket barrage. However, he was prepared for that.

 

Akinos reappeared behind the Harvester in a second, rockets hitting the container behind him instead, to no effect. He unleashed a strong blow with his Machete Wraith, which magnetized the robot's shields. He then quickly backpedaled, as the Zanuca prototype had quickly turned towards him and was swinging at him with its powerful claws.

 

The Harvester was very agile for a proxy, and it kept Akinos on his toes as he tried to avoid it without going far enough for it to use it's missile attacks. Akinos, however, had the upper hand in a duel of agility, and slowly but steadily, he led the proxy towards the container, the trap already set as the Shade was ready to close it the second he got the Harvester in.

 

However, the Harvester had a trick under it's sleeve, so to speak. It shot off a bomb from up close, hitting Akinos at point blank. The bomb did no damage, but it packed a powerful freezing effect. Akinos was dramatically slowed, an couldn't dodge the next swipe. However, Akinos saw that the proxy itself had also been affected by the freeze effect, and it's shields were impaired.

 

This was his chance, but he needed to go to the offensive. And he knew exactly the move he had to use, as much as it troubled him.  Not that he hadn't used that move before, he just hadn't quite succeeded at it. He remembered the old mantra: "Discipline, Practice, Strength", and started Slashing.

 

An inexperienced observer would have confused it with a Bladestorm, except, a Bladestorm is does not hit the same target twice. Or fifteen times. That, in a modern day Ash, requires to guide the attack manually. But Akinos was ready, and, slowed as he had been, he had to do it if he didn't want to become proxy fodder, so he did it.

 

It was truly most taxating. He had less than a second during every attack to aim the next Teleport, that had to put him in the right position to strike-a matter that only became more complicated when the shields went down, since he had to hit specific parts, the missile launchers, and bomb deployment systems.

 

The wrist-blades clashed with the metal, as the parts he aimed for were not the correct weak spots. His warframe would resent that, later. Then, he had done it, and the robot's weapon systems fell in pieces. He had succeeded, but also failed, as he came out of the Slash way sooner than he was supposed to.

 

-Ten Slashes?-Akinos asked himself as he reappeared in front of the now-battered Harvester, with a hint of disappointment in his voice-I guess it's a fair amount, for a Hunter. Now get over here, Zanuky!

 

The robot did charge, and while Akinos was still too slow to avoid it, but he had no need to, and teleported back towards the container instead, the Harvester charging after him, since its weapons were disabled. Akinos went into the container, and once it had followed him in, he teleported out with the last of his energy. The large door was then closed and sealed tight by the Shade, who had been on standby.

 

-Pretty close, energy-wise-the Shade commented, looking at the exhausted Ash.

 

BETRAYER! What are you doing to my precious Zanuka!? Let her go, now! Alad V screamed into the comms, obviously distressed by the situation of his dear proxy.

 

-Alad, i tell you what, we'll make a deal-Akinos answered him-You'll give me the location of Corpus' main databases. Or i'll turn Zanuky in there into paper weights. If you cooperate, you'll get it back, as it is right now. Honest bargain, and it's not like you care about the Board so much anymore, do you? This is your only chance...

 

Fine, Betrayer, Alad answered, the hatred clear in his voice, I'll tell you what you want to know.

Edited by 065tdsa
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Entari0

Entari0

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Posted

065tdsa: zanuka is spelt with a k, no c. You had it right toward the end.

Also, if you guys are complaining about not getting written critiques, I have only gotten the first part of my first story on this thread critiqued. Would love some feedback every now and again.

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RNG_

RNG_

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So while I have some time, here is the Continuation of Rask Tarcel's recsue.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Where I left off:  

 

    The Trinity tilted her head slightly, almost with a hint of amusement, while contemplating who she just incapacitated. "Are you sure you'd hit a woman?" a soothing voice emanated from the helm of the female Warframe. "Come with me. And take this, you might need it." As she turned to the other Frames waiting, she tossed a Lato Vandal pistol over her shoulder at Rask. Stumbling up to his feet and safely catching the loaded pistol, he followed her out of the prison. Rask didn't take chances. He didn't like guessing. He was taking a big risk following her...

 

     Rask never really paid attention to his surroundings before. Given, he had lived in the village for a long time, but its like he never knew this prison, this chasm, this dark abyss was even here. He couldn't recall anything about it. No children falling in. No spooky stories. Nothing. Then he realized, it wasn't in his childhood memories. Because it was NEVER there before. The Grineer had mined out this crevice during the occupation of his village. THIS was the mining operation that KILLED his only family, his father. Deep in thought and stricken by remorse, he took one step too close to the crumbling edge and had to reel himself back from the darkness. He was thinking about jumping if these... people, were hostile...

     "What, are you really just going to stand there? Do you WANT to stay here? Marcus, Janna, Ralph, let's go!" As the Trinity barked out these orders, an Excalibur came from an empty cell behind them, stretching his arms over his head nonchalantly, responding, "Aye, Captain Neira..." and gently sliding his Galantine off his back.
 

     Rask heard four names, but saw only the Trinity and Excalibur. Glancing nervously at the Lato Vandal in his left hand, he felt a wave of insecurity, as he had no idea who, or what for that matter, these people were. Why did they even trust him with a gun? As a matter of fact... 

"Where are your other two members?"

    Surprised to hear Rask talk, the Captain walked back down the ramp, throwing an arm around Rask's shoulders and pointing to the top of the chasm, "Look, over there, just below the treeline, the CORPUS lookin' guy in the bushes. See him, yeah? With the sniper? That's Ralph. He will keep ya safe, if your wondering," then shifting their view to the top of the ramp, "Ya can't see her, cause of her Sentinel, but Janna is standing right there, ready to burn us a path, mk?", once more, turning Rask around, "And the plucky one is Marcus. He'll get our back. Now just follow me, and be ready to use that pistol if we get stuck."

   Glad to know someone had a plan, Rask followed Neira's orders word by word, slipping by Grineer and evading detection. Up until a point.

*Gunfire* "Neira! NEIRA! RUN! 26 Troopers ARE RIGHT BEHIND YO-" Ralph's voice was cut off by more shots, much louder than before.
Sirens started blaring as Neira cut off comms and stamped her foot angrily into the ground. She spun on her right heel, obviously ticked, shouting, "Damnit Marcus, I thought I told you NOT to hang their bodies everywhere! Go get Ralph, meet us at extraction. Janna, on me! Make us a tunnel."
 

     Rask turned his back on the women, trying, and failing, to track Marcus's impossibly fast moment back to where Ralph had been giving overwatch. This was a mistake. As he brought his attention back to Neira and Janna, Rask was surprised with a heat wave so fierce, he was pushed back 2 or 3 feet and pressed into the wall of the ruined building where they were previously taking cover. Janna ran around the corner screaming like a wraith out for blood, incinerating anyone who dared to show themselves. But this left Neira open.

 

     Dazed and stuck to the wall of the ruins, Rask didn't see the Balista until it was too late. The sniper lined up the shot as Rask tried to warn Neira, only letting out a slight wheeze. As she turned she saw the fear in his face and leaped towards the scorched earth to her right, but too late. The armor piercing round didn't kill Neira, but instead caught her behind her left shin, breaking her leg upon exiting out the front of her shin. The impact caused her body to snap sideways and spin down the hill, into a set of Grineer. who, upon finding she was incapacitated, started kicking and beating her mercilessly. Rask didn't get angry. He peeled himself off the wall, found the Lato Vandal on a dead tree root by his foot, and looked the Balista in the eye from across the ruins.

    What came next, felt... natural. Rask brought the Lato Vandal up and out, aimed at the Balista's head, and pulled the trigger, blowing a hole straight through the Grineer's brain, then turning his vision down the hill at the Troopers who were next to Neira, taking each with one shot, and then the Hellion who started to fly over the ruins. All in but a few seconds, the ruins were clear, 6 shots, 6 kills. Rask calmly walked down the path to Neira, grinning slightly as he heard a whispering, muttering "Thanks...". Rask helped Neira to her feet, supporting her weight all the way to extraction.

There was nothing but breathing and silence for the longest time...

As the two rounded the final corner, they were met with a grim sight. No team. No Evac. Just one Grineer. Commander Sarich...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

More later, I'm tired, running out of creativity for one sitting of 5 hours. Then again, I only meant this to be an intro, no fancy fight descriptions or nothin'. So Good Night. Feedback please if ya feel like it, thanks.

Edited by IceBurnChaos
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Piranah1

Piranah1

Posted
Posted

Very nice IceBurnChaos (IBC?). Couldn't get much work on the archive done, hopefully tomorrow less will be happening. Aj, your stories are not in the archive yet because I am first doing the non-Aequitas one, of which there are much less of.

 

Also, IBC, you misspelt paid as payed, first line, second para. Otherwise, I really like what you've done.

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065tdsa

065tdsa

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Posted

065tdsa: zanuka is spelt with a k, no c. You had it right toward the end.

Also, if you guys are complaining about not getting written critiques, I have only gotten the first part of my first story on this thread critiqued. Would love some feedback every now and again.

That's what i get for writing half asleep. I thought i'd got them all after i checked.

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