Balduron04 Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Come brethren, we must engender the goodwill of the RNG! Together, we may bask in the glories of daily login rewards, 2 jagged edge mods in 1 kill, and that all important moment when you complete your first nightmare mission and get a Blaze mod. REJOICE! For today, I will reveal how to enter into their good favor. First, you must play dutifully, never missing a moment to bring glory and honor to your chosen RNG. Unfaithfulness to your RNG will only earn you the ire of all. You may choose between common, uncommon, and rare. Then, you must make the perilous journey to the Altar of Transmutation, donate a significant fee to the temple in which it resides, and then once again you may REJOICE! The RNG will grace you with its presents directly! No more do we have to wait and clamor in the squalor of the grineer asteroids. Nor do we need to wade through countless bodies for mere baubles. We can beseech the RNG directly, although they will not turn their benevolent gaze upon us without suitable sacrifices. The more you sacrifice for your RNG, the kinder he will become, ensuring that things are more random than they were previously! As proof of their works, you will find yourself having mods of mysterious nature, and no idea where they come from! More unique events will happen to you. But don't go looking for the RNG's holy sacrifices in the same old places. They enjoy RANDOM. So branch out, go searching, challenge yourself occasionally to a nice jaunt through Pluto and see what the RNG have in store for you there. Then, you may again REJOICE at the glory of the RNG. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tulzscha Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Moved to the proper section. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshall Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Moved to the proper section. Why is this in off topic? xP I like it ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nelsonz80 Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Does this means that Booben is the RNG God? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faustias Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Does this means that Booben is the RNG God? no... he's the wandering prophet. legend says that when you meet him, you need to accept his gifts in form of electrocuting balls and crucify thyself on open air. once the blessing over you is done, you gain a small amount of favor from the RNG. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nelsonz80 Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 no... he's the wandering prophet. legend says that when you meet him, you need to accept his gifts in form of electrocuting balls and crucify thyself on open air. once the blessing over you is done, you gain a small amount of favor from the RNG. seems legit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
premoril Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Don't worry, Nuffle will screw us in end... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgax Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Not enough Slaanesh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmeo Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 (edited) All glory to the RNGoddess, the Digital Lady Luck, the Queen of Alerts, Dictator of Nightmares, Giver of Rewards, Empress of Spawn, Architect of Rooms, Governess of Containers and Mistress of Transmutation. May our individual RNGods continue to bless us for our faithfulness and instruct us when we are greedy. *Proceeds to Transmute 4 rares and 36000 credits. FORGIVE ME FOR MY WEAKNESS Edited January 14, 2014 by Cosmeo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrothingLoins Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 (edited) You Heathens Deny the absolute power of Our Lord and Savior, Booben? Allow me to explain the heirarchy of the universe. Booben is the Alpha, Booben is the Omega. Booben is all. Rnjesus is the first born son of Booben and he distributes loot to the worthy. Dravenchrist is the second son of Booben, and he is the redeemer. The Brotherhood of Booben demands that you edit your falsehoods into compliance with holy scripture. Booben is law. Edited January 14, 2014 by FrothingLoins Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nelsonz80 Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 You Heathens Deny the absolute power of Our Lord and Savior, Booben? Allow me to explain the heirarchy of the universe. Booben is the Alpha, Booben is the Omega. Booben is all. Rnjesus is the first born son of Booben and he distributes loot to the worthy. Dravenchrist is the second son of Booben, and he is the redeemer. The Brotherhood of Booben demands that you edit your falsehoods into compliance with holy scripture. Booben is law. Booben is all in the universe? i am booben? i am RNGod? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrothingLoins Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 (edited) Booben is all in the universe? i am booben? i am RNGod? Booben lives inside you, Brother. Booben lives inside all of us. When you reach out and pat a kitten gently on it's adorable head, that is Booben's love acting through you. When you give a dollar to the homeless man on the corner Booben's compassion is flowing through your heart to better humanity. When you persevere against all odds and finally craft that prime weapon you've been hungering for it was Booben's tenacity that fortified your resolve. Edited January 14, 2014 by FrothingLoins Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmeo Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 You Heathens Deny the absolute power of Our Lord and Savior, Booben? Allow me to explain the heirarchy of the universe. Booben is the Alpha, Booben is the Omega. Booben is all. Rnjesus is the first born son of Booben and he distributes loot to the worthy. Dravenchrist is the second son of Booben, and he is the redeemer. The Brotherhood of Booben demands that you edit your falsehoods into compliance with holy scripture. Booben is law. Blasphemy! You dare question the supremacy of the RNG pantheon? Everyone knows that we each have our own RNGod, which is why some receive greater RNG bonuses! Booben is great, but Booben is their prophet! Do not confuse yourself! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nelsonz80 Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Booben shall save us all from the Detron!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PotWalrus Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 If Booben is Random Number God, does that make Banshee Random Number Goddess? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freelancer27 Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Worship the RNG gods by touching this platinum. :3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrothingLoins Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Blasphemy! You dare question the supremacy of the RNG pantheon? Everyone knows that we each have our own RNGod, which is why some receive greater RNG bonuses! Booben is great, but Booben is their prophet! Do not confuse yourself! Our Lord Booben is no mere prophet, like other lesser men once depicted wearing salmon helmets by Seth Mcfarlane. There may be lesser gods beneath Lord Booben that oversee individual RNG, but each of those deities answer to the great BOOBEN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balduron04 Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 Hear Ye, Hear Ye! The Church of Random Number Gods does not preclude, exclude, or occlude the existence of a deity called booben, nor does it deign to assign him any rank above or below that which we claim. Our knowledge of him is like our knowledge of even the names of the RNG. We are not even worthy to know their names, much less who they are above or below. To understand them, to come to know them, we must be dutiful in our supplication! To gleam more insight into their holy powers, we must curry favor and increase our randomness. Brethren, Pray for Brother Cosmeo Who has posted proof of his tribute. Let us honor him for his great sacrifice to the God of Rares, but let us rebuke him for his greed. To honor one is to honor all, but to honor each is to become blessed. In an attempt to placate the ire of the god of commons, I have transmuted 4 decoys and received his blessing! Steel Fiber is now mine, and this success I pass on to you. May your supplications return the RNGods good will towards the peoples, and may our emulation of Brother Cosmeo be not seen as hubris or greed, but be rewarded with the blessings from the God of Rares. For those that are interested, the Goddess Uncommon is also in need of appeasement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrothingLoins Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Hear Ye, Hear Ye! The Church of Random Number Gods does not preclude, exclude, or occlude the existence of a deity called booben, nor does it deign to assign him any rank above or below that which we claim. Our knowledge of him is like our knowledge of even the names of the RNG. We are not even worthy to know their names, much less who they are above or below. To understand them, to come to know them, we must be dutiful in our supplication! To gleam more insight into their holy powers, we must curry favor and increase our randomness. Brethren, Pray for Brother Cosmeo Who has posted proof of his tribute. Let us honor him for his great sacrifice to the God of Rares, but let us rebuke him for his greed. To honor one is to honor all, but to honor each is to become blessed. In an attempt to placate the ire of the god of commons, I have transmuted 4 decoys and received his blessing! Steel Fiber is now mine, and this success I pass on to you. May your supplications return the RNGods good will towards the peoples, and may our emulation of Brother Cosmeo be not seen as hubris or greed, but be rewarded with the blessings from the God of Rares. For those that are interested, the Goddess Uncommon is also in need of appeasement. Booben smiles on your eloquent wisdom. May thine chalice overflow with greedy milk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ntyd1s Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 Let me show my appreciation to your god with torch and gasoline~ :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balduron04 Posted January 16, 2014 Author Share Posted January 16, 2014 Let me show my appreciation to your god with torch and gasoline~ :D YES! TORCH THE GODS! THEY WILL REVEL IN YOUR RANDOMNESS! Then, present them with pancakes. And after, a round of sledding. Finally, a car air freshener. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nelsonz80 Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Let me show my appreciation to your god with torch and gasoline~ :D Booben loves pizza and coca-cola, youre doing it wrong! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingScorpion Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Booben loves pizza and coca-cola, youre doing it wrong! Our lord loves us, he desires nothing more than us drinking kool-aid anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nelsonz80 Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Our lord loves us, he desires nothing more than us drinking kool-aid anyway. but while eating pizza right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingScorpion Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 but while eating pizza right? If it is part of your prayer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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