[Fanfiction] Hunters

[Kalenath]

Speed

 

He was the fastest.

 

Nothing else mattered. Speed was all that mattered. He flew through the air and landed, maintaining his speed. His invisibility cloaked him like a second skin and he darted between two Crewmen, ignoring both. He could have struck either or both of them down in passing, but that would have slowed him down. Anything that slowed him down was unacceptable. The lights flickered and he ignored them, focusing on his path through the gargantuan Corpus starship. If it was an assassin of some kind, he would simply outrun them. It wasn't his problem, the others would kill the assassins. Or not. Not his problem. He had a mission and credits to make and that was all that mattered. Other Tenno were inconsequential. Slow, feeble or otherwise not able to keep up? They didn't matter. Only speed did.

 

He ran on even when a waypoint appeared in his HUD. The other team members calling for help. Fools. Didn't they know that would slow him down? If they couldn't handle a few assassins, then what good were they?

 

The only thing that mattered was finishing the mission and getting his credits. Nothing more. He saw the icons of the team suddenly change and ignored them.  Someone would revive the fool who had gone down. Another fell and he sighed. He would have to do the mission solo it seemed. Not a problem, he would finish it faster if he didn't have to wait for the fools to catch up. He threw himself across a chasm as text scrolled across his HUD that he ignored. Some kind of bleating to come back or help or- WHAT THE-?

 

RUN! RUN! RUN! RU-

 

One word. One repeated word that cut off. What the hell? He actually stumbled his landing and jerked to a halt. None of the Corpus crew or mechs that surrounded him saw him as he keyed a query on his HUD. There was no reply. All three of the others were down. That shouldn't have been possible. Even Stalker wouldn't have taken all three of them! The kinslayer would have killed his target and then vanished. And... none were reviving. This was wrong.

 

Something blossomed inside his Swindle helmet. He wasn't sure for a moment what it was. Then he realized. It was fear. He shook himself and ignored it. He had a mission and he would complete it. 5000 credits wasn't much, but it was what he did. He made credits. Nothing else mattered. He didn't like being saddled with slow fools, but the Lotus insisted on occasion.

 

He started off gain, this time faster. He flew from wall to wall, over the heads of MOAs and Crewmen. None saw him. He made it to his destination and paused, just for a moment, to hack the console that guarded his target. He smiled under his helmet as he saw the Corpus security grid.

 

The Corpus were very good at a lot of things. Automation was their pride and joy. They were quite good at it. But in the end, when someone was faster than the automated systems, they were quite useless. He was past the laser grids and cameras in ten seconds flat. Not a record, but pretty good. A thrown Hikou disabled the sole camera that covered the access to the vault and he started hacking. Again, he was fast. It was what he did. But when the data transferred, instead of the Lotus congratulating him on not setting off any alarms, she screamed at him.

 

Tenno Franklin! RUN! Now!

 

He paused, just a for a second. What the hell? That was just a second too long.

 

The impact took him in the side, throwing him to the floor beside the now empty data vault he had just plundered. That wasn't possible! He was still invisible. No Corpus were in the vault! He hadn't been detected! He snarled to himself as he rolled to his feet and... stared down at the arrow that had impaled him. He jerked it free and shuddered. It looked... kind of like one of Stalker's arrows. But not entirely. Some sixth sense warned him and he dodged to the side as another arrow tore through where he had just been. He couldn't see anything. No shooter.

 

Lotus! He screamed in his mind as he fled for his life. What is going on?

 

Get away from her! The Lotus begged. She killed the others! We may or may not be able to revive them. But you... I think she is after you.

 

Who is shooting at me? The warframe danced as before through the milling Corpus. None of them had any idea what was happening or why. Then an arrow that missed him neatly decapitated a passing Crewman and all of the Corpus who could see the now slumping body screamed warnings. Two of them turned to hit alarms and the cloaked Tenno poured on the speed.

 

Just move! The Lotus commanded. As fast as you can, Tenno. You cannot fight her. Not there. He jerked to a stop, anger flaring. No...

 

I do not run from fights Lotus! He snapped in his mind, only to freeze as every single Corpus in the area suddenly curled up on themselves and fell to lie still. The power... he could see it flaring on his HUD. That was a Banshee Sound Quake! That the hell? Then his day got worse.

 

"Funny..." The voice. He knew the voice. "You run from fights every day. Why shouldn't you run from this one, coward?"

 

Franklin RUN! The Lotus' voice screamed in his skull. He ignored it as he cut his cloak and readied his swords.

 

"Serene." Tenno Franklin smiled under his helmet. There was a reward for her capture. A big one. "Show yourself sister."

 

"I am no sister of yours." Serene's voice... was wrong. "You have led me a merry chase. But here it ends." Franklin shook his head.

 

"I do not want to fight you, sister." Indeed, he did not. If he fought, he might get hurt and that would slow him down. Not acceptable.

 

"Fight?" She asked incredulously. Then she laughed. It was mocking, that laugh. "Oh, I am not going to fight you, Franklin. It wouldn't be much of a fight. You cowardly excuse for a Tenno. I wouldn't sully my hands. This is not a fight. This was a hunt. Thank you for playing the fleeing prey so well." She made a noise of contentment. "Then again, this really wasn't fair. I knew what you would do. Everything you would do. You would leave the others to die and run off to do your own thing. Because you are a cowardly piece of crap who lets others fight for you. If you take an Exterminate mission, it is to run around finding treasures while others kill everything."

 

"And?" Franklin was tapping his foot. He was getting bored.

 

"You really should have cultivated some patience, Franklin." Serene said with a sigh. "It might have saved your life."

 

"You cannot catch me, Serene." Franklin said with a smirk. "You are not fast enough."

 

"I am faster than you think, Franklin." Serene said quietly. "But today? I don't have to be." Those words chilled the Loki and he stared around for a moment, but nothing in his surroundings seemed to be a threat. "Don't bother. You might be fast, but I am darkness. You cannot find me unless I wish. And I don't."

 

"What is the point of this, Serene?" Franklin demanded. "Because if you will not surrender, and you will not fight, and you will not..." He paused as something horrific sounded in his mind. "No..."

 

'...'

 

"Right on time." Serene sounded... content.

 

"Serene, what have you done?" Franklin jerked and hit his Invisibility, only to scream as an arrow took him in the right arm. It disrupted his invisibility somehow and he was left clutching his arm in plain sight. "Serene..."

 

"Me?" Serene sounded innocent now. "Nothing. I just slowed you down enough for the Corpus security network to get a good look at you." She paused. "Oh, and I did see a report of a Zanuka being seen on this ship too." Artful innocence almost masked the malice. Almost.

 

"Serene, don't do this." Franklin had never thought to hear himself beg. He screamed as another arrow took him in the left leg. He started off, only to see all of the hatches in the area close and lock. He didn't have much time. "Serene!"

 

"How many times have you supported the Grineer, Franklin?" Serene asked, ignoring the stumbling Loki. "I am honestly curious. They must have offered you a lot. Or was it just more credits? That is after all, your defining point. Greed."

 

"You can't do this!" Franklin said sharply. "I am Tenno! Like you!"

 

"YOU ARE NOTHING LIKE ME!" Serene screamed. "I loved a proud and noble woman! You love credits! You leave our kin to die because you can in the name of credits!" Another arrow hit his other arm and he fell to roll and come up. "You are a mercenary backstabbing piece of S#&$. My only true regret is that I cannot watch as Alad V takes you apart. I hope and pray you are awake for it."

 

The female Tenno's voice vanished but Franklin had no time to relax. Another voice sounded.

 

Tenno? Can you hear me? You've been a naughty little betrayer, haven't you? Did you really think your support for the Grineer would go unnoticed? Alad V's smug voice sounded across his mind, but he barely noticed it, the terror was rising. He was... it was...

 

No... Franklin tried to pull the arrows out, but his hands were not working right. He couldn't run. He couldn't fight. All he could do as Zanuka appeared nearby, paused on seeing him and then pounced was scream.

 

***

 

She watched from her high perch as Zanuka made short work of the disabled Loki and picked his still form up to carry it away. She hoped that he would be awake for what Alad V would do to him. If anyone deserved to be awake and aware while being dissected, that mercenary pile of refuse did. She took no comfort in what she had done. It was wrong, but it was needed. How many Tenno had Franklin killed through negligence, apathy and greed? How many...

 

Serene... The Lotus was crying. Serene, please... There had been a time when Serene had loved the woman who spoke in her head. Now? She only felt caution. If the Lotus could find her, so could others. Serene, please. You need help. You haven't killed anyone yet, sister. Not even Franklin. Serene, talk to me! Please!

 

Serene's eyes narrowed under her helmet. She had disabled the other three of Franklin's cell before moving to confront the treacherous Loki. His treason had to be stopped. He was guilty. She had dealt with him. The others? They had just been in the way. She regretted that a bit, but they would recover, in time. If the Corpus didn't take them that was. She snarled at herself and started off to where she had ambushed the others. It hadn't been much of a fight. None of them had been very good. If they had been, it would have been different. Anyone with experience on being paired with Franklin would have left to find another assignment and damn the penalties. He got kin killed regularly. But it was never his fault. Oh no. They couldn't keep up, so it was their fault, not his. She forced herself to relax. He was handled. She could trust Alad V to handle that if nothing else.

 

She moved through the ducts as a deadly red and black ghost. Stalker's form of transport was...odd. But she had to admit it was effective. She had appeared not quite in the sight of the trio who had been playing it smart when Franklin had abandoned them. They had stayed together, supporting one another. A Frost, a Mag and an Ash, all had worked together. Until they had run into her anyway. None of them had been prepared.  She had altered the harmonics of her Sound Quake so they could not protect against her. The Mag had gone own in seconds. Even utterly unprepared for her onslaught, the three had fought well. The Frost had tried to revive the Mag while the Ash had gone for Serene.

 

That hadn't worked out so well for them. Stalker's Despair had torn through the Ash and he had gone down moments before his own blade could have reached Serene. The Frost hadn't even tried to run. He had been throwing lead at her until her arrow had taken him down. But her shields had been far, far stronger than a normal Banshee's. Stalker had all kinds of cool toys in the storehouse whose location Serene had tortured out of the kinslayer before leaving the dojo she had called home for the last time.

 

She had a mission now. But she wasn't Franklin. She understood regret. She regretted having to disable those three Tenno. They had fought well and bravely against a foe that none could have expected or planned for.

 

Serene made her way through the ducts, but froze just before the opening that she had used to enter the ducts to chase down Franklin. Something was wrong. She couldn't hear anything. She couldn't see anything. But something was wrong. She knew this feeling, she had felt it before. She was being watched. She pulled a small sphere from a pouch and slid it towards the opening. It stopped just at the opening and she ghosted back into the duct. The tiny video camera attached to the rolling machine slid out and a tiny image appeared on her HUD. She stared, her stomach suddenly doing flips.

 

"No..." Serene swallowed hard as she saw the Corpus troops surrounding the Zanuka as it marked each fallen warframe. It could only carry one at a time, but from how the Corpus were acting... These were Alad V's men as well. She was indecisive for a moment, She could fight Zanuka, certainly. But then Franklin would escape to hurt kin again. She could kill the Corpus easily enough. But then Zanuka would escape. If she did nothing, those three Tenno who had only been in her way would die. She sighed, she was not Franklin.

 

But then the image changed. Zanuka vanished and the Corpus troops deployed as huge white form slammed into their midst. A Rhino warfame. One she knew.

 

"Karl..." Serene swallowed again, but forced herself to withdraw. Those fallen kin would take no harm from the Corpus if Karl was there. But then she came to a sudden stop. Coming face to face with a Boar shotgun in the confines of the duct would do that. The gray Loki was also someone she knew. "Hello Aeron."

 

"Serene." Aeron's voice was calm. That was good. "Nicely done with Franklin. Couldn't have done it better myself." High praise from the sniper. He defined sneaky and vindictive. "The others..." He gave sigh, but his muzzle didn't waver.

 

"They would have tried to help him." Serene said softly. "I was trying to disable. Not kill."

 

"You did." Aeron reassured her and she relaxed a bit. "They are angry. Can't blame them." Serene tensed, what was he doing? "Serene, Amelia is alive."

 

"Right." Serene drawled out the word mockingly. "Alive in a stasis pod. Never to wake. Sounds kind of dead to me."

 

"Serene, she isn't dead." Aeron pressed. "Please, sister. You haven't crossed the line yet. Don't. We can help." Serene grimaced. This Tenno was a brother. A good brother. He had trouble with his temper, but still, a good brother. He did not move as she knelt. "Serene..."

 

"No, you can't." Serene said softly. "The guilty will be punished. When next we meet, we meet as enemies." She keyed for a recall and felt the void take her as Aeron's shotgun roared. Too late. She tried to ignore the impassioned scream from outside the ducts. Karl screaming her name as she vanished.

 

***

 

"Three hurt and one missing." Brianna sighed as she worked on the unconscious Mag. "Sister Nancia will be all right." Everyone relaxed a bit at that. "The other?"

 

The clan had brought the recovered kin back to the dojo for treatment. None would wake soon, but the Mag had been the only one in true danger of permanent death. But they had been in time.

 

"Oh, that one is dead." Karl shook his head. "Serene didn't kill him herself, but she killed him as surely as if she had." He sighed. "Tenno Franklin was a nasty piece of work, but that...?" He actually shuddered an most of the others in the medical ward shared it.

 

"She is scary." A weak voice from the side had all eyes turning. Amelia Priosa sat in the wheelchair that would be her home for the foreseeable future. Being shot nine times left marks that would be slow to fade. "I had to see!" She declared as Karl inhaled to reprimand her.

 

"Amelia." Brianna sighed and finished her work. "You are still too weak." She moved to the chair. "Where is Kori?"

 

"Asleep." Amelia said softly. "She has been so good to me. For me. I don't deserve her. But I had to see. I had to know. Serene... Serene did this..." The hurt doctor was crying. Brianna sighed and took her hands in gentle grips. "I know what she is. I know how she gets. But I didn't believe."

 

"I know, Amelia." Karl moved to kneel beside the hurt woman's chair. "She didn't believe Aeron either."

 

"Then we have to get me to see her. Somehow." Amelia recoiled as everyone in the room snarled a negative. "But... get her somewhere with no exits. Put me there. She won't hurt me."

 

"She won't allow that, Amelia. She won't allow herself to be trapped like that." Karl said taking one of Amelia's hands from Brianna to hold. "And neither can we. Anywhere that she can go will be far too dangerous to take you. Even if you were in perfect condition, she will go places we cannot take you. Ever."

 

"But we have to stop her!" Amelia said savagely. "This is... We have to stop her!"

 

"I know." Karl slumped a bit. "But Amelia... The only way to stop her..." Amelia blanched and then started crying again. When she spoke, the doctor's voice was low and pain filled.

 

"...is to kill her."

Edited June 27, 2015 by Kalenath

[evafan002]

well its like i said in the other thread... if Karl and co need a distraction they can find me on the mercury relay just tell em to ask for Dan.....

[Kalenath]

well its like i said in the other thread... if Karl and co need a distraction they can find me on the mercury relay just tell em to ask for Dan.....

 

You DO know what happens to bait, right?

[ROSING]

If this is part of a larger story I apologize for my ignorance.

But was Serene's only objective just to bust Franklin? If so then why would she continue to be a problem?

Apart from that good story! I liked it a lot.

Edited June 27, 2015 by ROSING

[Kalenath]

If this is part of a larger story I apologize for my ignorance.

But was Serene's only objective just to bust Franklin? If so then why would she continue to be a problem?

Apart from that good story! I liked it a lot.

 

The story is part of an arc that is listed in my profile.

 

No, Serene is focused on punishing any she feels are guilty. Tenno, human or Grineer, any and all will face her wrath. She has always been walking on the knife edge of insanity. Losing her mate -or so she thinks- has pushed her over. She is sneaky as hell, determined as hell and now? She is going insane. She understand honor, but is not ruled by it.

 

To put it into perspective, Stalker is afraid of her. (even before she tortured him for the location of his safehouse) So is Nikis, my ancient curmudgeon Nekros gunfighter who has been around since Hayden Tenno's time.

 

To quote Patrick Swayze from the movie 'Next of Kin'- "We ain't seen bad yet. But it's coming."

Edited June 27, 2015 by Kalenath

[FiveHours]

The story is part of an arc that is listed in my profile.

No, Serene is focused on punishing any she feels are guilty. Tenno, human or Grineer, any and all will face her wrath. She has always been walking on the knife edge of insanity. Losing her mate -or so she thinks- has pushed her over. She is sneaky as hell, determined as hell and now? She is going insane. She understand honor, but is not ruled by it.

To put it into perspective, Stalker is afraid of her. (even before she tortured him for the location of his safehouse) So is Nikis, my ancient curmudgeon Nekros gunfighter who has been around since Hayden Tenno's time.

To quote Patrick Swayze from the movie 'Next of Kin'- "We ain't seen bad yet. But it's coming."

It seems that "it" has been coming for a while now, Kalenath.

Is there going to be an end to this arc? So far I don't see one, even after the fiction called "Endings". There just seems to be another conflict whenever a resolution is made, and whenever one character or another makes an effort to stop the current conflict, everyone gets together, talks, and there is some progress, and it all creates even more problems than it starts.

Edited June 27, 2015 by FiveHours

[Kalenath]

It seems that "it" has been coming for a while now, Kalenath.

Is there going to be an end to this arc? So far I don't see one, even after the fiction called "Endings". There just seems to be another conflict whenever a resolution is made, and whenever one character or another makes an effort to stop the current conflict, everyone gets together, talks, and there is some progress, and it all creates even more problems than it starts.

 

There will be an end. NONE of my stories are soap operas. They WILL come to an end.

 

Eventually.

 

I promise I won't write 100 stories. I did that once before. Never again unless I get paid for it. Probably 3-4 more.

Edited June 27, 2015 by Kalenath

[FiveHours]

There will be an end. NONE of my stories are soap operas. They WILL come to an end.

Eventually.

I promise I won't write 100 stories. I did that once before. Never again unless I get paid for it. Probably 3-4 more.

It's just a shame if this arc were to be ruined by something as basic as too much writing.

[Shadow977]

So to become Stalker all you had to do was to steal his stuff? I wish i had known about that earlier but since Serene has already done that my dreams of becoming Stalker are ruined.

Edited June 27, 2015 by Shadow977

[Kalenath]

So to become Stalker all you had to do was to steal his stuff? I wish i had known about that earlier but since Serene has already done that my dreams of becoming Stalker are ruined.

 

IS that all there is?

 

Hmmm... And no, she isn't Stalker. We haven't seen what happened to Stalker yet.

[Shadow977]

IS that all there is?

 

Hmmm... And no, she isn't Stalker. We haven't seen what happened to Stalker yet.

Well Stalker-ish but you know what i mean.

[evafan002]

You DO know what happens to bait, right?

yeah i know but if I'm expecting it i have got a better chance than someone that ain't expecting it.... admittedly not much of a better chance but in a situation like this everything that can be done to skew the odds in the tennos favor helps does it not?

[Kalenath]

 

Targets

 

Tenno were as varied as the humans they protected.  Even discounting the warframes, each and every Tenno was different. Each and every singular being, whether they were Warriors or support personnel, was distinct from each and every other. Some Tenno preferred subdued colors while others made garish fashion statements that might have made the old Earth musicians named Elton John and Liberace wince and cover their eyes. Some preferred lightweight equipment, optimized for speed. Others acted more like living battering rams. Some preferred quiet, other liked loud. But in the end, each was unique and easily identified. Well, most of them...

 

Then there was Kai.

 

She wore a Saryn warframe. It was mostly unadorned. No sigils, attachments or syandanas, only the emblem of a clan long vanished on one shoulder. She strove very hard to remain quiet and calm. To be cool in all situations. There was a reason. A very good reason, but it wasn't one that anyone suspected. If anyone had suspected her, her life would have been short and unpleasant. She worked alone for the most part, and most Tenno were glad to let her work alone. She didn't stink or anything. But there was something about her that bothered people. Warrior and support Tenno alike...didn't like working with her. Most felt shame for feeling that. None suspected why they felt that. No one in their right mind might have realized that she worked hard to inculcate a tiny sense of revulsion in each and every person that she dealt with. Because the last thing she wanted was to let anyone see what she did on all of those solo missions. What she stole. Who she killed. Who paid her for such.

 

Kai was a freelance intelligence agent. A spy and assassin for hire, in other words. Perhaps the Lotus suspected. If so, the guide of the Tenno never said anything. She was reasonably sure that she had worked for the Lotus on several occasions. That did not bother her any more than working for the Grineer or Corpus did. She wasn't amoral. She had feelings, thoughts, desires. She even had a code of ethics. Of a sort. She was pragmatic but there were limits. She had nothing and no one holding her from her path. She worked to survive, nothing more. There was no patriotism, no call that she would follow. Only her own path.

 

Before the Collapse, she had worked for Tenno Intelligence, the shadowy information gathering organization. She that had never really been recognized. Then again, in her job, she didn't want recognition. She didn't hate anyone. She wasn't even angry most of the time. Anger was for amateurs and Kai was no amateur.

 

The Corpus facility she was infiltrating was a hard nut to crack. Multiple levels of security. These were not rank and file Crewmen either. These were Corpus Special Forces. They were only deployed to the most sensitive or important of targets. She could have torn her way through fairly easily, killed most if not all of the humans in the process. But her mission was otherwise.

 

The Grineer had been attempting to breach the massive defenses around Neptune for quite some time without success. Despite their huge armadas and lately the Balor Fomorians, the Grineer had been stymied again and again. Then again, this planet was the headquarters of the Corpus. This planet held the center for Corpus Research and Development as well as the indoctrination temples that swelled the ranks of the fanatics. So, the Corpus defenses around Neptune were larger and more comprehensive than any other place in the Solar System.

 

The Grineer had discovered this very quickly. Their usual approach hadn't worked. They tried brute force. Normally, swamping an area with thousands of clones made victory a foregone conclusion. Not this time. Despite their usual success with such tactics, they had hit an automated durasteel wall over and over again. Even clones could eventually get the hint.

 

They had tried sneakiness, infiltrating small teams of clones to sabotage or disrupt communications and allow their fleets to close with the massive orbital fortresses that had proved such a hard nut to crack. But then said teams had run afoul of the Corpus Special Forces and to a clone, all of the teams had vanished without a trace. The queens were not amused and it ran downhill.

 

General Sargas Ruk was a typical Grineer in many ways. But he also had a fairly well functioning brain inside his skull. His normal tactics hadn't worked at all. Indeed, he had lost thousands of clones for no result at all as well as dozens of ships. Even a Balor Fomorian had been disabled by the massive plasma cannon and missile batteries that orbited Neptune. The Corpus repaired them faster than the Grineer could damage them! Ruk had unilaterally declared war on the Corpus, and while the Grineer queens usually did not mind such -much!- if results were immediate, results hadn't been! In other places, the Grineer had advanced into Corpus territory. In some places, the Corpus had pushed the Grineer out of long held positions. The situation across the system was a bloody stalemate and the Queens were not amused. Losing clones meant nothing. Losing territory? That lessened the dominance of the Grineer and that would not be allowed.

 

That was why Kai was creeping through the Corpus facility. The mission brief had included a vial of particularly nasty nerve toxin, enough to kill every living thing on the station. Her job was to reach the main atmospheric supply point and set the vial to disperse. A cursory examination had shown there was no timer. If she had set it, it would have gone off and killed her too. She didn't need it but the implications worried Kai quite a bit. Ruk did not trust her. That stood to reason. He did not know who she was.

 

The Grineer had used Kai's services several times, but she had always been careful to mask her identity. She used third parties, anonymous com channels and the best anti-tracking and anti-eavesdropping equipment known. The Grineer had designated her 'NT-1247894-U'. The 'NT' stood for 'Not Trusted', but the 'U' stood for 'Useful'. If they ever discovered who and what she was, they would likely freak and try to kill her. The Corpus had designated her 'Asset B-3961' and also found her useful. She walked a tightrope of deception with both groups. It was lucrative and she managed to stay balanced between the two.

 

This job might just shatter that balance though. Kai hadn't known what to expect when she had infiltrated this mining facility. It wasn't part of the main Neptune defenses, but it was protected just as if it was. The Grineer believed it was a camouflaged Command and Control nexus. A priority target. But Kai hadn't found anything to show that. The security was tight, but she had managed to get through without being seen. Her heavily modified Shade sentinel helped a great deal. But mainly it was skill that allowed her to avoid patrols and a discreet holo emitter that allowed her to mimic Corpus personnel for a short period of time. The power supply did not last long and it could not run off her warframe power, so she used it sparingly.

 

The Corpus had no idea she was there. Not even the Special Forces. So why was there an itch between her shoulder blades as she headed deeper into the facility? She felt as if she was being watched. But there was no one there. Ruk wanted it intact for three reasons. For the territory gain, for the resources it produced and to show that the Grineer could take targets in Neptune. But there could be no sign of her at all. No alarms. No video records. Nothing. It had to be Grineer activity that officially took the station, not her.

 

Kai stepped through another portal and froze. What met her eyes was not anything she had expected. Half a dozen children played in a small room with two adults watching them. Unarmed adults! Both looked at her and she shook her head and moved to the other exit. A few of the kids looked curious, but others...? They looked at her with fear in their eyes before looking away. That shook her. Hard. Her holo was intact. They couldn't know who she was. What she was. So why were they afraid? And what were children doing on a Corpus space station in the middle of a battlezone?

 

She strode off, unsure. She had to find out more information. She found an out of the way room with a terminal before her cloak failed and started hacking. The security systems were particularly robust. It took Kai five minutes of careful hacking to find out the truth and when she did? She shook her head.

 

This wasn't a Command and Control Nexus. It was a regular mining facility but... The kids... It was also an orphanage! Ruk's mission would have her kill dozens of noncombatants. Ruk wouldn't care. Any non-Grineer existed to be exterminated in his eyes. But... She jerked as a voice came to her ears.

 

"Now you know." Kai spun, but there was no one there. She knew the voice and fear came. She moved beyond it.

 

"Serene." Kai said softly. Ordinarily, Tenno did not speak in the field, but this...? This was different. The Lotus had warned all Tenno that Serene was losing her mind. That she believed she had lost the one thing she loved unreservedly. Kai forced herself to remain calm. If Serene wanted her dead, she was. But Serene was talking, so... "Nice job on Franklin. Scum got what he deserved. You here for me?"

 

"I was." Serene's voice was calm. "You betrayed the Lotus." Kai looked at the terminal and nodded. "Why?" Was Serene about to cry?

 

"You will understand." Kai said softly. "This is all I am. All I remember. Whoever or whatever I was before cryo, I cannot remember her." An indrawn breath came from the unseen Banshee. "But this...? No. I cannot do this." She stepped away from the console. "Maybe the woman I was before cryo could have killed non-combatants and children. But I cannot." She slumped. "The Grineer do not care. Humans are vermin to be exterminated. The Corpus?" She shook her head. "I don't like them, but I have tried to balance my actions. Do a mission for one, then do a mission for the other."

 

"And stealing data from the Lotus?" Serene's voice turned hard.

 

"I didn't know it was one of the Lotus' vaults, Serene." Kai's voice also turned hard. "Not until an advisory went out that one of her vaults had been breached. She doesn't advertise what is hers. I thought it was just an Orokin vault. I was distressed to hear it was hers."

 

"Who did you sell the information to?" Serene asked.

 

"I didn't." Kai replied. The other was silent and Kai shook her head again. "Come on, Serene. I may be pragmatic, but there are limits! As soon as I knew it was the Lotus', I gave it back." She had been so shaken by the experience that she had nearly apologized to the Lotus. Luckily, common sense had prevailed and she had returned it anonymously.

 

"I don't believe you." Serene said flatly.

 

"I have no power over what you believe." Kai had been scrutinizing the area. There was one small vent set on one wall. Was Serene there? She couldn't know and a mistake here would be lethal. "I want to live, but I know I have no chance against you in a fight." That ranked, but Kai knew her limits. Serene had walked alone for far longer than Kai had. Even without whatever odd tech Serene had now, she was far, far better at this than Kai was. "Will you kill me now?"

 

"I want to." Serene's voice was reflective. "You came here to kill everyone on the station. To kill humans for the Grineer."

 

"To kill Corpus for the Grineer." Kai corrected the unseen huntress calmly. "Don't tell me you haven't done the same." Serene inhaled and Kai nodded. "Ever since the Gravidus Offensive kicked off, Tenno have sided with Grineer or Corpus to maintain the balance of power between the two factions."

 

"And you did this to maintain balance." Serene's voice dripped sarcasm.

 

"Personal balance." Kai agreed and Serene was silent. "For every action, there is a reaction. For every time I help the Grineer, I help the Corpus." She bowed her head. "If my sister need my life, it is hers."

 

"I..." Serene swallowed hard. "Go out the door. Go to the airlock and don't come back. If I see you on this station again, I will kill you." Something...Kai was a halfway to the door when she paused. "What?" Serene demanded.

 

"Serene, I am sorry." The unseen Banshee did not respond. "I have never loved as you have. But I do understand loss." She hit the panel to open the door and screamed as energy pulled her in and held her tight. She could do nothing but scream inside her mind as it...erased.

 

***

 

"Damn you." Serene snapped as she stepped out of the shadows to stand by the frozen Saryn. "You do not have a clue! None of you have a clue!"

 

She pulled a small device for her belt and touched it to the Saryn warframe which... opened. She started pulling the limp form inside free of it. The woman breathed. But her energy, the thing that made her a Tenno, was gone. Her mind, her memories, everything that had made Kai who and what she was. Gone. Serene had the limp form halfway out of the dead warframe when the locked door she had trapped opened and she stared up into several weapon muzzles.

 

"Freeze!" The Corpus Special forces trooper said and then he curled up along with everyone else in the area. Serene's Silence field immobilized them all for a few seconds. Just long enough for her to dart back into the duct and flee.

 

"Stand fast!" A command came from higher as several of the troops moved to follow Serene. "Do not pursue that Tenno! That is an order!"

 

"Sir!" No one would dare disobey orders from that source. Special Forces Commander Horatius was not someone to take lightly. Ever.

 

"Lock down and get that one to our medical." Horatius said firmly. "And everyone?"

 

"This did not happen."

 

***

 

"No."

 

Horatius stared at the unconscious female who lay in the medical ward. The Saryn warframe had been boxed up and shifted into storage, it's records deliberately obscured to prevent higher authorities from finding it. He had a reputation of being  cold hearted son of a gun. The mission always came first. But it was only a  reputation. Everyone who served with him knew better.

 

"I am sorry, sir." The doctor in charge of the tiny Special Forces infirmary said quietly. "Every memory cluster took energy damage. She won't remember anything."

 

"She wasn't going to do it." Horatius said, stunned. "She was going to leave. We were watching the whole time. She saw the kids and was going to leave. Why do this to her?" He shook his head. "This was... premeditated and vicious. That Tenno killed this one  as surely as if she pulled a trigger."

 

"I didn't think Tenno fought each other, sir." The doctor said as he checked the woman who had been Kai's vitals They were strong.

 

"I need to consult." Horatius said after a moment. "Is she... out of danger?"

 

"Physically, she is fine, sir." The doctor said quietly. "Mentally? She is a blank slate. We could use her." He offered. "We would have to retrain her in everything from childhood, but we could use her."

 

"Not my call, doc." Horatius said firmly. "I need to get with higher on this."

 

Not Corpus higher.

 

***

 

I am sorry, Ma'am. Horatius said sadly. We were watching. You warned us she was coming and for what. But she saw the kids like you said and she was going to leave.

 

Very few people knew that the Special Forces did not serve the Corpus Board of Directors. Of those few, most believed that the Special Forces served the Clergy, the Corpus' guides and  secret police. The number of humans who knew the truth outside of Special Forces and the Clergy could be counted on one hand. And that was how operatives of the Lotus liked it.

 

This... was a low order probability. The Lotus said just as sadly. I felt her die. Kai is no more.

 

Her body is alive. Horatius offered. Her warframe is hidden. For now. We can send it.

 

That would be for the best. The Lotus agreed. Such a relic would cause problems if your superiors run a spot check and find it. They would ask questions that you cannot answer. Kai will be missed.

 

Her body is alive, Ma'am. Horatius said quietly. What do we do with it? There are none of the odd energy scans that come with normal Tenno. She is a blank slate.

 

You wish to use her? The Lotus sounded concerned.

 

I don't know. Horatius admitted. This shocked me. I didn't think Tenno killed each other.

 

Sane ones do not. The Lotus replied and Horatius froze. Tell your people that if they see that Tenno again, to drop their weapons. We do not think she will kill humans. She is targeting Tenno she believes guilty of crimes.

 

Oh dear. Horatius swallowed hard. Can we help in any way?

 

Pray, commander. The Lotus said sadly. We have been in contact with the Reverend Mother and will be working with her to try and stop this before it goes further. But this... She sighed.

 

Why would the Reverend Mother be a help? Horatius asked. I mean, yes. I know what she was before she was the Reverend Mother. But, frankly? None of us humans have much of chance against a Tenno in a warframe. Less against one with... mental stability issues.

 

You know who and what the Reverend Mother was. The Lotus said softly. She had a twin. Horatius went still and the Lotus gave a small sob. And that twin is going insane.

 

My god...

 

Yeah.

 

Edited June 28, 2015 by Kalenath

[BaIthazar]

So Serene and The RevMama are twins?

[evafan002]

So Serene and The RevMama are twins?

The Serene we are discussing here is not the serene that was born naturally she is actually the tenno formerly known as Two ie a duplicate of Serene's mind. when Serene became Reverend mother. Two Became serene for all intents and purposes

 

Does that about sum up the situation Kal?

Edited June 28, 2015 by evafan002

[Kalenath]

The Serene we are discussing here is not the serene that was born naturally she is actually the tenno formerly known as Two ie a duplicate of serene mind. when Serene became Reverend mother. Two Became serene for all intents and purposes

 

Does that about sum up the situation Kal?

 

Yeah. People call them twins to keep from being TOO confused since the situation is about as clear as mud.

 

The current Reverend Mother was the original Serene until she took her place as spokeswoman for the Clergy and gave up her name in the process.

 

The insane one is the being formerly known as Two. She came into being in my second fanfiction, 'To Be The Darkness' (https://forums.warframe.com/index.php?/topic/41517-to-be-the-darkness/ ) She thinks her mate is dead and she was NOT happy that she could not kill the ones responsible herself. Only one is left of those and she wanted to kill it. She was denied and she did not take that well.

 

When the others went to tell her Amelia was still alive, she was gone. All may not be lost since Amelia IS still alive, but Serene is NOT going to go down easily or quickly.

Edited June 28, 2015 by Kalenath

[Kalenath]

Never say Never

 

"But..."

 

Sara was being very brave. Anyone who knew the normally feisty young Tenno knew that she was brave. Being created by the Corpus to be a lever to break her mother's will had left marks on the girl, but she continued to grow and learn. She was young, only now about to turn four years old, but her body was almost fully grown. With the help of her adoptive mother Iriana who had treated the odd ailment that the girl had been inflicted with since birth, Sara had finally been able to focus on the future instead of the now.

 

"Oh Sara." The Reverend Mother hadn't wanted to intrude. But everyone had insisted she be present for this virtual meeting. She stepped to where the girl was biting her lip to keep from crying and folded Sara in her arms. Sara lost her battle and started to cry, but no one minded. Truth be told? The Reverend Mother was nearly in tears herself. "I know this doesn't make any sense. I was the unstable one. Not her. I could see me doing this as I was. Not her." Sara gave a small cry and hugged the Reverend Mother tight. The Clergywoman sighed and held the crying girl as she looked at the grim assembly who had asked her to attend. "What can we do?"

 

"Briana and I are going over every scan we have." Iriana said quietly. She was professionally blank. The Reverend Mother understood. She always refrained from using her gifts in these meetings. It wouldn't end well. She had been Tenno, but now? She was needed by the Clergy. "But, you are right. This doesn't make any sense. Serene was angry. We all knew this. But this...?" She turned a frown to the person who had called them here and Karl nodded slowly. "What happened? I was busy with everything."

 

"From what we have pieced together..."Karl said quietly. "She was staying with Amelia while the doc was in stasis. We let her. Everyone knew how she felt about Amelia. We were worried about her, so we were not going to include her in the assault. She insisted." Every visible face grimaced at that. Iriana in particular was still recovering from nearly being enslaved by remnants of the past. "During it..." Karl mused. "She wasn't quite berserk, but she was at the edge. We pulled her back. When Nikis killed the Forgotten, she was..." He shook his head. "She was calm. She had calmed."

 

"You said she wanted to kill the last one?" The Reverend Mother asked. "Being denied such would have angered me."

 

"Oh, it angered her." Karl had a frown in his voice now too. "But I talked to her. She wanted vengeance. We spoke for some time and she calmed. Was that a trick?" He asked the Reverend Mother who shrugged a little.

 

"And how did Stalker get involved?" The Reverend Mother asked flatly. Then again, she had fought the kinslayer while she was Tenno. She hated him as much as any other Tenno did.

 

"He rescued me." Iriana's voice was tiny. The Reverend Mother looked at the Healer and then held out a hand, Iriana smiled little forlornly and joined the hug, Sara hugging them both. "I didn't know what to think. Don't know what to think. I mean..." She broke off as the Reverend Mother gave her a squeeze.

 

"I know." The Reverend Mother had been there in her previous persona when the identity of Iriana's mate -Mishka's father- had been revealed. "I have had to deal with twisty, tricky minds quite a bit recently. But this is worse. This is family we are talking about. Serene hurt him?"

 

"We don't know what she did." Karl said with a sigh. "When we went to talk to her, to tell her that Amelia was going to be okay and makes sure Serene got to be there when Amelia came out of stasis, she was gone. What little information we got from Nikis said that Stalker was -and I quote- 'tortured' and not by Sun or Nikis. They were letting him sweat a bit first."

 

"So she got to him, hurt him and then went and found a stash of his weapons..." The Reverend Mother felt ill and she could see Sara and Iriana both reacting the same. But then she paused. "There is something wrong with that."

 

"There is a bunch wrong with that!" Sara snapped, but then she started crying again. "She wouldn't kill Tenno. She wouldn't!"

 

"Sara." The Reverend Mother's voice took on a harder cast. "What did I do? When you were hurt?" Sara jerked but then nodded, manifestly against her will. The Reverend Mother did not remember that, her memories had been altered to preserve her sanity but she had seen records. "She is me in many ways. Yes. If a loved one was hurt or killed? Yes, I could kill. So could she." Sara wilted in the Clergywoman's hands and the Reverend Mother sighed. "Sara, we need to figure this out. If we are to have any chance of saving her..." She looked at Karl who bowed his head. "No..."

 

"The Elders have spoken." Karl said softly, his voice full of old pain. "She did not actually kill Franklin, but she hurt his team. She could have killed any or all of them. She did disable them and left them where the Corpus could find them. If we hadn't been in such close pursuit, it would have been far worse. As it is, Sister Nancia will need a great deal of recovery time." The Mag warframe had been devastated by Serene's Sound Quake to a far higher degree than the others. What the coherent sound had done to the body inside the warframe had been ghastly. The two others with her hadn't been hurt as badly, but both had been disabled. And then what the Banshee had done to Franklin. Sara slumped even further as Karl looked away from her. "Serene did kill Kai."

 

Sara was shaking her head rapidly as both Iriana and the Reverend Mother held her. She was striving for control and the two women held her until she managed it.

 

"This may be what she wants." Sara's word had all three others stiffened. "To die?"

 

"I don't think so, Sara." Karl said heavily. "She ran from Aeron. She ran from the Corpus Special Forces. We don't know why she was removing Kai from her warframe, but from everything we have seen it wasn't anything good."

 

"Whoa." Iriana jerked and held up a hand. "She was what?" The Reverend Mother sighed and spoke.

 

"The Special Forces had been monitoring Kai's progress through the facility." The Clergywoman said quietly. "Their orders were to let Kai see the kids. We -the Lotus and I- figured that she would see the kids and abort the operation. Kai wasn't a bad sort, just pragmatic. She could not trust anyone. It simply wasn't in her to do so after all she lost."

 

"So why kill her?" Sara begged.

 

"The reason that Serene gave was that Kai stole data from an Orokin vault that belonged to the Lotus." The Reverend Mother said with a scowl. "But the Lotus knew about that. The data had been returned. So it was an excuse to do what Serene did. But not a good excuse." She sighed. "When Kai touched the door panel, it had been rigged with a neural stunner with its power systems amplified." Iriana and Sara both winced. "She didn't know what hit her. I pray she never felt a thing. But then it gets weird."

 

"A warframe is bonded to its user." Sara said mechanically. "The..." She went still. "The neural bonding..." She breathed, horrified.

 

"Yes, Sara." The Reverend Mother said softly. "I have spoken with the Lotus and everything that happened is classified beyond secret. Only I know the particulars. The trap was destroyed when they tried to remove it from the panel. It was set to self destruct, but only itself. No one was hurt besides Kai. We think that the trap severed the neural bond between Kai and her warframe. We know that it wiped her mind in the process." She shivered a little. "But as to why she would want another warframe..."

 

"Was it the warframe or was it Kai?" Iriana asked, her face blank. "Outside of the warframe, Kai's body could have been digitized. But then that would have left the warframe... Wait..."

 

"Serene knows about the Special Forces." The Reverend Mother said quietly. "She knows they would have sent the warframe to the Lotus. We are, but we want to be absolutely sure that there are no nasty surprises in it first. The Lotus agrees."

 

"So she killed Kai." Sara swallowed. She turned her tear streaked face to the Rhino. "And the Elders have decreed her death."

 

"Yes, Sara." Karl said softly. "Serene will die. The only question is how many other kin die with her."

 

***

 

She moved like a ghost through the darkened environment. This habitat had been conquered by the Grineer and the humans within slaughtered some time ago. She was a ghost. That was her forte, to not be there. She was not here for Grineer though. She was here for different prey.  Worthy prey. Deserving prey.

 

The Grineer were brutish and evil, no question. She detested the degenerate clones. But her hate? No. That was reserved for other beings. She knew her target's location. She could 'feel' him in her mind. His taint in her mind and to be extinguished. The...

 

-----

 

 

Serene stumbled and fell to her knees. What was she doing? This... wasn't right! She shook herself and rose, staring about herself wildly. Where was she? This wasn't where she had been. She was... Something hit her mind with the subtlety of a nuclear weapon and she felt herself falling into a pit of blackness in her mind. She did the only thing she could, curled up into a ball to protect her mind. Let her body do what it would. But the power would not be denied. It tore around and through her, pulling her past and into darkness again.

 

-----

 

She rose from her knees and checked her weapons. Everything was optimal. Her target was close. No! He was there!

 

"I did not want to do this, Serene." The Excalibur Prime stood alone and aloof on the catwalk that spanned the darkened hall. But...was he? She couldn't be sure. "Why, Serene? Why did you kill Kai?" Will -the swordmaster of Karl's clan- drew his skana.

 

"What do you care?" Serene snapped. Her bow was essentially useless against him, her knives likewise. He could parry either out of the air all day. But fighting him on his terms was stupid. "You have your love. Mine is dead."

 

"We have told you she is alive, Serene." The Excalibur did not move at all. "Jasmina's allies found a way to heal her. They did. She is hurt, weak and sick. She is very confused and horrified by what you are doing. But she is alive."

 

"You lie!" Serene screamed as she drew the scythe whose name echoed her inner turmoil. But she did not advance. This was... No. This was a trap. He wasn't alone. He couldn't be.

 

"I only lie when ordered to, Serene." The Excalibur replied evenly. "I have not been ordered to lie now. Drop your weapons and you will see Amelia again. I am ordered to kill you. But I do not wish it."

 

"Then you are a fool!" Serene said as she darted forward and to the side. The catwalk was narrow, precluding any fancy footwork. The scythe danced in her hands, only to be met with shining Tenno steel each time. No matter her desire, her need, indeed her hunger to rend the Tenno, she could not pierce his defenses. She flipped backward out of his reach and took stock. She wasn't injured, but neither was he. "I cannot beat you like this." She admitted. "But I will kill you."

 

"Serene." Will said softly. "Don't do this. Don't make me do this."

 

"I am the darkness!" Serene screamed as she pulled her power. But then she froze in place as he Will raised his sword and the world turned bright. She couldn't see! A pulse of Sonar showed Will hadn't moved from his spot.

 

"Light counters darkness." The voice of the Tenno swordsman hadn't moved. "Drop them, Serene! Now!" Instead of complying, Serene dropped to her hands and knees, coherent sound starting to pulse from her fingertips. She did not stop as Will shouted. "Serene!"

 

She just had to keep the power flowing and even the master swordsman would fall. He had no defense against...

 

She hit the ground hard and lay there for a moment. Pain flared in her back and side. A piece of shadow came alive in her view. A Trinity warframe holding a Burston Prime. Will's mate, Alicia from Karl's clan. And from her posture? Furious.

 

"Your love is not dead, Serene!" Alicia said sharply. "You are not beyond help! Stand down!"

 

"**** you!" Serene screamed as she rolled from the catwalk into the darkness below. She felt other impacts as she keyed for a recall, too late. She was flying through the void.

 

She landed on her injured side and screamed in pain. But she used the pain and rage to force her body to work. She rose and strode to a medical unit nearby. She lay down in it, weapons and all. It had been rebuilt for just such occasions. She took a deep breath as the pain faded and spoke evenly.

 

"They will kill me now."

 

"Good." The dark and sinister voice that answered her would have sent shivered though any human hearing it. Green energy flared around her helmet and she relaxed as the pain in her back faded beside the pleasure in her skull. "Good girl. Your past is dust. Now? You have but one purpose."

 

-----

 

 

"NO!" Serene screamed as she tore herself loose from the insidious thoughts that seeped through her. "I WILL NOT!" She focused her mind and shielded it. The energy that had been rewriting her emotions and mental processes bounced.

 

"Silly girl." The other replied evenly. "How long can you hold the shield? You are not the real Serene. You are a cheap copy."

 

"No?" Serene focused herself but the biofeedback technique that should have stopped her heart -killed her physical form- did not work. "Well, you are an idiot."

 

"Ah yes, now you start with the insults. Right on time." The voice replied. "Too bad you didn't get Kai. Another would make it twice as fast. No matter. I am not the Corpus, girl. I have control of you and it is only a matter of time before I break you."

 

"I am not your slave!" Serene bit out through gritted teeth as the assault on her shields increased. Then it faded. "Wha-?"

 

"I have all the time in the universe to make you mine now." The other said quietly. "Go on, rest. I like it when they struggle." Something changed and she felt her body's rhythms start to still. She was being sedated. "Go on, sleep. You will enjoy your dreams, girl. When you wake, I will have broken you."

 

"Never!" Serene forced herself to remain conscious. But between that and her mental shields... Her body was heating now. She felt a rush of pleasure. "I... will...not..." The pleasure faded and pain started. She ignored it.

 

"Your friends want you dead. Your allies believe you mad." The voice replied calmly. "I am the only one who can help you now."

 

"Is that so?" Serene asked softly. The voice did not reply and she smiled a bit grimly. "You took control. Made me kill Franklin and Kai."

 

"It didn't take much." The other sounded almost gentle. Almost. "You wanted them dead. They are. Be happy. Your purpose will be fulfilled."

 

"My purpose?" Serene asked, her tone odd. "Or yours?"

 

"In this, they are the same."The other replied. "You want justice, I can give you justice."

 

"No, you can't." Serene focused her mind and sent out a last ditch pulse. A cry for help. It was answered! She felt her mind start to fly free. The other gasped and she smiled as she felt her body to sat to fall apart. "Goodbye A******. I hope your death takes weeks!"

 

"Serene! Stop!" The voice snapped. "You don't know what you are doing!"

 

"Denying you your prize." Serene said softly as her power... faded. As everything faded. Soft arms pulled her in and held her as Serene cried.

 

"What have I done?" Serene pleaded. "So angry. So... furious. Didn't think. Didn't plan. Just reacted. So stupid."

 

"You touched him. You wanted to hurt him. Use him to kill the last Forgotten as Nikis and Hayden used him to cover Tina's entry into the shut down chamber. But you are neither Nikis nor Hayden." The female voice was remote but the arms that held her were soft. "He used your anger as a vector into your mind."

 

"Yeah." Serene could not move. She didn't want to. "Didn't think it through. She was so still. So cold and still. I didn't... I didn't think."

 

"He will use your body, Serene." The other said quietly. "There is no way to stop that. Not now."

 

"What can I do, Janet?" Serene begged. The incredibly powerful precognitive who held her just sighed. "Anywhere I go, into any virtual world, he can find me, pull me back. Use my mind and my memories to kill my friends. Amelia... She is alive?"

 

"She is alive." The arms around Serene gave her a hug. "I know a place where we can hide you. But it will not be easy. They tend to take a dim view of this kind of thing. I can ask. But no more. If they say 'no', then we have to deal with it here."

 

"In that case, kill me." Serene said softly. "I... Don't let me kill my friends. Please?"

 

"I do not kill anymore, Serene." Janet said sternly. "But if it comes to it, I will guide your friends to where you are. Let them handle it."

 

"I don't want this." Serene said sadly. "But if it is the only way to beat Stalker, then I will do it. Where...? Where will you send me?"

 

"Somewhere that is not real to us."

 

Edited June 29, 2015 by Kalenath

[evafan002]

oh boy........ this just keeps getting better and better......

[evafan002]

gahh stupid thing... pls ignore this one

Edited June 29, 2015 by evafan002

[BaIthazar]

woohoo, fresh out of bed and already a new chapter..

a good start of the day.

 

So Katsler was never to blame for everything?
Stalker is a seperate entity controlling ones body?

or am I thinking too much into this?

Edited June 29, 2015 by BaIthazar

[FiveHours]

I feel as if your characters don't have enough variety in how they speak, Kalenath. Honestly, if I took out every pronoun in that chapter, I would get the same person talking to himself. Everyone seems to be quite an emotionally troubled, honor-bound, insecure and tired mess of a Tenno or whatever.

There needs to be a set of traits that your character exhibits, especially with body language. Sighing over and over again tells me nothing.

[Kalenath]

woohoo, fresh out of bed and already a new chapter..

a good start of the day.

 

So Katsler was never to blame for everything?

Stalker is a seperate entity controlling ones body?

or am I thinking too much into this?

 

Maybe.

 

 

I feel as if your characters don't have enough variety in how they speak, Kalenath. Honestly, if I took out every pronoun in that chapter, I would get the same person talking to himself. Everyone seems to be quite an emotionally troubled, honor-bound, insecure and tired mess of a Tenno or whatever.

There needs to be a set of traits that your character exhibits, especially with body language. Sighing over and over again tells me nothing.

 

Putting 'Um or 'Oh' or '...' in as many places would be just as boring. There IS a fine line. Lots of people sigh, grunt or groan when they do not know what else to say. I am trying to make the dialog seem less 'written' and more 'real' if that makes any sense at all.

 

And yes, many of them have been hanging around Karl a LOT, so some of his mannerisms rubbed off. He IS tired, emotionally troubled and honor bound.

 

It has been said that Karl's dojo is less a place of martial arts and more a sanitarium of sorts. Just not in Karl's hearing...

 

Frankly though? To DO the jobs demanded of Tenno they HAVE to be crazy. I mean, really? Lephantis. Walking willingly INTO a pit filled with INFESTED to kill one that is THREE STORIES TALL????? How sane is THAT?

 

NONE of my characters are 'normal' or 'sane' or anything like that. Sane usually makes for boring stories.

 

As for insecure? Serene lost control of her mind and body. That TENDS to make people a LITTLE insecure.

Edited June 29, 2015 by Kalenath

[FiveHours]

Sane makes for boring stories? I'm sorry, what?

Look, Kalenath, having the same type of character makes for a boring story. Having a variety (emotion, motive, allegiances, biases etc.) of character is what will let your readers decide for themselves who they hate. If everybody in your story is crazy/insecure after hanging out Karl/ screaming/ saying something softly, it gets a tiny bit repetitive.

And by body language I don't mean grunting, chuckling, or whatever (which can actually reveal something about the character) but arm crossing, chin rubbing, hand touching, hands-on-hips, and that sort of thing. Subtle signals that can speak a great deal more about a character than what they say, and would help a lot with what you want to call it "real". And I'm not saying that you should put ellipsis everywhere (although I have seen it done) or put in grunts and such things; moderation, Kalenath.

[Kalenath]

Sane makes for boring stories? I'm sorry, what?

Look, Kalenath, having the same type of character makes for a boring story. Having a variety (emotion, motive, allegiances, biases etc.) of character is what will let your readers decide for themselves who they hate. If everybody in your story is crazy/insecure after hanging out Karl/ screaming/ saying something softly, it gets a tiny bit repetitive.

And by body language I don't mean grunting, chuckling, or whatever (which can actually reveal something about the character) but arm crossing, chin rubbing, hand touching, hands-on-hips, and that sort of thing. Subtle signals that can speak a great deal more about a character than what they say, and would help a lot with what you want to call it "real". And I'm not saying that you should put ellipsis everywhere (although I have seen it done) or put in grunts and such things; moderation, Kalenath.

 

Funny you should say that...

[Shadow977]

Ahh... There's the badass Stalker i've missed.

Also i somehow got a feeling that Stalker might have a split personality.